My little boy won't come out for anyone but me.

[Monty's Mummy]

My little boy cat, Monty is what I call a gentle giant. He has very long legs, never bites, hisses or scratches me. The only problem is, he only comes out for me. When my boyfriend is over, he runs and hides and tries desparately to get away from him. He tried so hard to get away from him the other day, he ran into the ironing board and knocked himself out. My boyfriend is a cat lover, and is gentle with my other cat, and attempts to do the same to monty, but Monty is deathly afraid of him. Should I be concerned? or should I just let Monty get used to my boyfriend when he is around and let Monty come to my boyfriend when he is ready? I don't know. I don't want my little boy to have a heart attack over this. Can any one relate or lend some advice?

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Originally posted by Monty's Mummy
Should I be concerned? or should I just let Monty get used to my boyfriend when he is around and let Monty come to my boyfriend when he is ready? I don't know. I don't want my little boy to have a heart attack over this. Can any one relate or lend some advice?

Hi Monty's Mummy, and welcome to PT!

Yes, just let Monty come to your boyfriend on his own terms. Some kitties are more afraid of people than others, and they need to learn to trust people. Forcing them into situations isn't the best way to help them learn. Just have your boyfriend be calm and quiet and eventually Monty will come out on his own. When he does, don't immediately reach for him. If he wants to come up and sniff at your boyfriend, let him do it without trying to grab him or reach out to him. Eventually, as Monty grows a little more adventurous, your boyfriend can try to reach a hand out to him to sniff at - but still don't try and grab him. After Monty sniffs the open hand, your boyfriend can try to pet him, but be slow and gentle. If Monty bolts, then try again another time. Monty should eventually get the picture that your boyfriend isn't going to hurt him, and will see your boyfriend interacting with your other cat, and hopefully he will learn to trust your boyfriend.

Good luck, and let us know how it all goes.

[jenluckenbach]

Welcome to Monty and his mom. I would highly suggest letting Monty set the pace. The more your BF ignores him the more safe Monty will feel around him. Don't get me wrong, this could take a LONG time, but it really is best to move slowly. Good luck.

[catland]

Hi Monty - welcome to Pet Talk.

My suggestion is to ask your boyfriend to leave a t-shirt or other piece of clothing at your house. That way, your kitty can sniff it and get used to the scent. This might help him overcome is fear.

Also, probably the best thing your boyfriend could do is to totally ignore him. This just seems to make cats curious.

good luck.

[slick]

When I first adoped Max 6 yrs ago he was a very pissed off kitty. When I finally decided to totally ignore him, he was all over me. Give it a try.

And welcome to PT. It's very addicting.

[Monty's Mummy]

Thanks everyone. I will keep you posted on my little boys progress. Your suggestions are very helpful.