Still don't get along

[emily_the_spoiled]

Hi,

I got myself a new ktiten at Christmas time (Tanner) and went through the process of introducing him to Emily, etc. It has now been over three months and Emily is still growling at him when ever he is in the area. I know that part of the problem is that he wants to play and so he keeps jumping on her. When they do "tangle" he usually rolls over almost immediately and shows his belly (as a sign of submission?). But Emily still hasn't taken to him. She doesn't hiss or attack him (unless feeling cornered).

Does anyone have any other suggestions (besides time)?

Cheryl

[Cataholic]

Cheryl,
Nope, not really. But, you might try feeding them yummy treats/food closely together. You might try some cat nip, you might try holding one and loving on the other. You might try interactive games with each other. Or, the spray called Feliway. OR, maybe tolerance is the only level you will achieve. Good luck!

[emily_the_spoiled]

I actually feed them in the same room (with separate dishes). They usually eat their own wet food, but the dry food always tastes better from the other guys dish .

Once Emily is asleep the three of us can share the bed without any problems. Sometimes we can even sit on the couch together (but not all the time).

I keep thinking that since there has been only a limited amount of fur flying and no blood, maybe it will improve with time... (one can only hope )

[Logan]

I wish I knew the easy answer. Mimi is like Emily, and just decided, very early on in her life, that she should be an only cat. Well, she's not an only cat now, because Butter has been with us for more than two years. And she still can't tolerate him! The best thing is that they can coexist, finally, and they just stay out of each other's ways. I just get a little sad when I see the precious cuddling pictures that our other members post, and I know I will never have pictures like that with these two.

I hope it will work out for you, eventually, but as long as they aren't trying to kill each other, I guess it is a good thing!

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Tubby and Peanut have been together now for 13 years and I guess I'd say they coexist, like Logan says. They used to chase each other around the house occassionally, which I considered playing, but that has happened for awhile now. They have never snuggled and rarely get within a foot of each other, unless for some reason their food dishes have gone completely empty. Then when I refill they are kinda hungry so they will sit next to each other and eat, but then go on their own merry ways. They aren't hostile to each other, just kind of ignore each other.....unless, of course, Peanut is on my lap and Tubby happens to notice. Then he has to come over and be the big bully and she'll run away.

So unfortunately I don't have any advice. They may never be the snugglers like others here have, but hopefully they will learn to coexist and hopefully Emily will stop growling at poor little Tanner. But that will probably happen as Tanner gets older and stops jumping on her. And who knows, as he gets older she might just realize he's not such a little brat and get nicer to him.

I do believe Tubby would miss Peanut - or the other way around - if anything were to happen to either of them. So they know that each other are there, I guess they would just rather stay away from each other.

[Barbara]

Originally posted by emily_the_spoiled


I keep thinking that since there has been only a limited amount of fur flying and no blood, maybe it will improve with time... (one can only hope )

I am afraid this is rather a bad sign. They avoid interaction and find their own ways. So they do not have to solve their hierarchy problems.

[lizbud]

I learned something in K & L's links on the "Desparately needs
Advice" thread. http://www.perfectpaws.com/help2.html

Cats are not pack animals.They don't really care about
hierarchy. Cat societial makeup is not like humans or dogs
but something all their own. It explains it pretty well in the link
above. I guess I always knew this( sort of), but it's so foreign
to the human way of thinking. Cats are very interesting
creatures. Your cats might never be friends, but they will
probably eventually work everything out to their satisfaction.

[slick]

They may never get along. Max and Speckles only barely tolerate one another and they have been living together for about 8 yrs now. Emily might soften with time but you just might have to accept that she may never really like Tanner. Let's hope I'm wrong.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I have only owned male cats and from my experience and other people's posts about female cats,they seem to tolerate a multi-cat household better. I just recently adopted a new almost 9 month old cat named Cirrus. It only took Storm about 4-5 days to accept him but my other cat Sunny is still having some issues. I've only had Cirrus for 9 days so it's still very early and I'm sure Sunny will accept him soon. When my RB Pepper was still alive, all 3 of my cats got along very well. I guess it all depends on the cats personality. Good luck.

[catmandu]

Cats are such curious animals! I have 14 in the Hotel , there are occasional spats , and princess gets more paranoid when she sees new faces. I now have 8 litter boxes and feeding stations. the siamese and Balinese , 8 in all have teamed up with the Himalayan , and the non siamese get along in their own clique, Princess ia a loner. Except for the odd ambush and chase , and the very occasioanal scrap , they get along very well.

[catland]

When our big Sid was a kitten, he wore a collar with a bell to warn his older "auntie" Crystal that he was wanting to play. (She was 15 years older than him!). They never became best buddies but did learn to tolerate each other's presence.

None of my pack of three snuggle with each other - sigh. But that's ok, it is who they are. They do enjoy playing chase games with each other and there are very few skirmishes.

When our little girl Jan growls at Joxer, we just think its funny because it is just who she is. He doesn't take it personally.

[NoahsMommy]

We adopted Olivia in December too. Olivia, Noel and Basil all get along. Noah and Olivia on the other hand, DONT.

This week, Olivia gave Noah a cute on his tummy...that's why those two have Soft Paws.

Its sad when you want them to be friends. Maybe Emily just isn't cut out for another cat in the works. As long as they aren't unhappy, they'll just tolerate each other.

[emily_the_spoiled]

I am actulaly hoping that once Tanner gets over his "kitten phase" and calms down things will get better. They are fine together if they are touching (just like siblings ), so maybe there is hope in another few months...

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by emily_the_spoiled
I am actulaly hoping that once Tanner gets over his "kitten phase" and calms down things will get better. They are fine together if they are touching (just like siblings ), so maybe there is hope in another few months...

For some reason I thought Tanner was older, sorry about that.

You may be right, when he's done being a "baby", she may welcome him a lot more. It does take a lot of time.

Do you have any pictures???