A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be
Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Children go through four life stages with dads:
1) They call you da-da.
2) They call you daddy.
3) They call you dad.
4) They call you collect.
Dance as if no one's watching, love as if it's never going to hurt.
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this Bull before!
Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is a balanced diet.
Four things come not back: the spoken word, the spent arrow, the past, and the neglected opportunity
Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee
Keep your head in the clouds.. you're the first to know when it rains, and it's easier to see the silver lining.
Live without pretending,
Love without depending,
Listen without defending,
Speak without offending,
Give without ending,
Build without rending.
Never argue with a stupid person. First they'll drag you down to their level, then they will beat you with experience.
Never overlook wallflower at dance; may be dandelion in grass.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
Parents are so excited about the first steps and words of their children, but then they spend the next 17 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
Sentences that begin with "all women" are never, never true
True love can not be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it does.
True love is not based on what you have, but it is based on who you really are.
You are young only once, but you can be immature all your life.
You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry the person with whom you cannot live without.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing
You only have one chance to make a first impression
Why is Lemonade made with artificial flavoring, while dishwasher soap is made with real lemons?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?
Why can't life's problems hit us when we're 17 and know everything?
Hold your head high.
Don't ever let 'em define
The light in your eyes.
Love yourself, give them Hell.
You can take on this world.
You just stand and be strong
And then fight
Like a girl.
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