Does anyone NOT know how to be a friend anymore?

[CountryWolf07]

Mini venting going on here

So, I'm finding myself lately that I hang out on my own a lot of times, except the times I'm with Mike. I'm finding that lately I'm liking dogs more than people. People just plain suck. I don't think I really do have anyone who'd do ANYTHING for me, except Mike. He's said it many times before, "What about me? You have me!" but.. I just wish I had a good friend or two to hang out with during the weekdays or on weekends, even. I don't think anyone knows how to be a friend anymore. I am done. I was supposed to go out on Friday night with a friend, then another friend on Saturday, and today also, and they all BAILED. I don't know what I HAVE to do to gain a friend. That's how I feel. I try. What do I get? Nothing. It's like, no one really cares anymore! Pffft. No wonder I am on the computer a lot of times.

How do you meet people too, especially in public places? Must be hard and it is definitely hard for me to! Not online, that's a whole different story. It just seems a hell a lot harder figuring people out these days.

[NicoleLJ]

I can't give you any advice on where to go to make friends. With my agoraphobia it makes it extremely difficult to go places on my own to meet strangers. Doug and I are both home bodies but we do have some really good friends that we help out when they need it and vice versa so they are out there just getting harder and harder to find.

More and more people are becoming the "all about me" types. They only want to hang out to do what they want to do, talk about what they want to talk about and forget helping others. It is sad really. I am the type where I like activites that takes everyone into consideration and the same with things to talk about. Luckily our friends are that way too. Once we got rid of all the drama seekers things have been all smooth sailing.

Is there any activities you enjoy? Doug and I are hoping to make some dog park friends or puppy walking friends at Luna's upcomeing puppy classes next week. Maybe join a group for an activity you enjoy and see what happens.

[pomtzu]

I'm with you CW - and I know exactly what you mean. I had lots of "friends", or so I thought. We were always going somewhere and doing something together, whether It was just to sit around and gab, go to dinner, go shopping, or go to Happy Hour occasionally..

And then I had a spinal cord injury and had to retire a few years earlier than I had planned. I was no longer able to run here and there at the drop of a hat, and all I asked of them was to give me a little notice, since it took me a little longer to do things. Well - the first year that was okay, and then the "friends" started to disappear, one by one. Here it is 5 years later, and where are they now??? - I haven't a clue. One of them still calls me about once a year and at the end of the conversation she always says - "let's get together for lunch and shopping (or whatever!) - I'll call you". So does she call - yup - about a year later, and ends the conversation with the same line. I haven't even had a Christmas card from her in 2 years - so I quit sending too.

Do I need "friends" like that??? - hell no!!! I have my family and my fur kids, and frankly that's all I really need and want. My son is always saying I should get out more - go to the "Modern Maturity Center" and meet new people. Heck - not being disrespectful or anything - but I don't want to sit around and play bridge or checkers with a bunch of old farts that have nothing to talk about, other than all of their ailments. I'd rather stay home and read or watch a movie or get outside in the nice weather and play with the pups, go to the beach and walk the boardwalk, or just goof off on the computer.

All of my old "friends" showed me what friends aren't! I really don't miss them at all anymore........

[neko1]

I feel the same way.

I have online friends, but I don't have any in real life.
I go to lunch every day by myself. My contact list on my phone is pretty much empty.
If I want to hang out with someone, my 2 choices are Hec and my mom (which are 2 fabulous choices!!!!) I can't live without them!!!

I have one old coworker that I talk to about once a month, but I haven't actually seen him since december. Every time I ask him to hang out, he's got something else going on.

I tried asking one of Hector's friend's if she wanted to hang out, but she told me no because she 'can't leave the kids alone with her husband'

It gets me severely depressed sometimes, but then I remember that I was born alone, I grew up alone and I will die alone and I've managed so far ok so it's fine. If people don't want my friendship, then forget about em.

[neko1]

I've actually found that my online friends are one of the greatest gifts

They help keep me sane and I appreciate all of them

[krazyaboutkatz]

It seems much more difficult to make friends as you get older. I'm also at the point where I enjoy hanging out with my cats more than with other people. Most of the friends that I used to do things with have all moved away. The others I just stopped seeing because they still like to drink and party which I'm not into any more.

There is one friend who still lives in the area but she's in very poor health so it's hard for her to get out now. I'm pretty much a loner these days so if I want to go some where or do something I have to go alone. My entertainment is my computer and tv. At least you have a wonderful boyfriend that you can do things with. I'm sorry that all of your other friends have bailed out on you. I agree that it's much easier to meet friends online than in person.

[chocolatepuppy]

I've got my work friends, but not a lot of contact outside of work. I have my online friends. I spend most of my time alone with my furkids.
Seems everybody, including myself, are just too busy these days and when I'm not working, I prefer to be home with my furkids.

[Queen of Poop]

Raises hand to join the group.

Since I left my horrible husband I've spent the majority of my time alone. I hear from my "friends" when it's convenient for them. Plans made always fall thru for one reason or another, but not on my part.

Like today, had a plan to meet a girlfriend at 11, she called about 10:20 and said let's meet at 1. Then called and said let's meet at 12:45, she showed at 1. By this time I'm pretty crabby about the whole thing so the shopping was not fun and I couldn't wait to be done.

I thank God for my friends here. Always someone to chat with, someone who understands. I love you guys. You're my sanity.

[mrspunkysmom]

Mini venting going on here

. . . People just plain suck. . . . I just wish I had a good friend or two to hang out with during the weekdays or on weekends, even. I don't think anyone knows how to be a friend anymore. I am done. I was supposed to go out on Friday night with a friend, then another friend on Saturday, and today also, and they all BAILED. . . .

I agree. When I was much younger, girlfriends would routinely cancel "dates" because a fella would pop in and want attention. We women don't seem to understand the bond would could share.

On the other hand, my boss is a ba$tard. He regularly tells me to find another job, doesn't support me in the classroom, and tells me that I have no interpersonal skills.

The only joy I have are my cats and this place. Something about that sounds so sad. I do have other outlets, but the South is big on family and those that are single by choice are outcast. That's one reason I'm considering moving back to live near my youngest brother.