When Insults Had Class..............

[wombat2u2004]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

[Marigold2]

Oh Wom I can't stop laughing...................
You funny wicked man, I love them all.

[kitten645]

Those are great! Dorothy Parker is my all time favorite:

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.


Claudia

[wombat2u2004]

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them

Claudia

HAH !!!! Love it !!!!
I know a woman who works for the United Nations, I thought of her when I read that line.....hee hee.

[Catty1]

I LOVE Dorothy Parker! A few more from her:

“Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.”

When told that a certain woman would not hurt a fly Dorothy Parker retorted, "Not if it was buttoned up.”

“She looks like something that would eat its young”

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

"I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending."

"I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see."

"The House Beautiful is the play lousy."

[ChrisH]

Shakespearean insults.
http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html

[Catty1]

ChrisH - loved this one:

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.

Taken from: Macbeth

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Thou warped flap-mouthed clotpole!

One to remember for future use I think

[Catherinedana]

To Winston Churchill: "Sir you are drunk! Disgustingly drunk!"

Winston replies: “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

[wombat2u2004]

One to remember for future use I think

"Thou warped flap-mouthed clotpole!"

How amazing.....as soon as I read that, I thought of you

[Pawsitive Thinking]

"Thou warped flap-mouthed clotpole!"

How amazing.....as soon as I read that, I thought of you

cheers my aussie chum you say the nicest things........

[smokey the elder]

I love the Shakespearean insults. He had a way with words, for sure!

Winston Churchill could insult with the best of them, but I like Dorothy Parker's, too.