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Thread: Funny Craigslist Ad Found

  1. #1

    Funny Craigslist Ad Found

    This was posted under a pets section:

    http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/pet/1594352366.html
    Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by breed rescue that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!

    We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children up for adoption this weekend!

    They are described as:
    One male -- his name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon.

    One female -- her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and can be affectionate. Gets along well with other little girls and little boys but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training. Shouldn't take long at all.

    We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them. That is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy.

    I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    7,885
    HAHAHA! I love it, thanks for sharing!!!

    Kaitlyn (the human)
    Sadie & Rita (Forever in Our Hearts) (the Labbies)

  3. #3
    OMG!! These people are brilliant. Had I only been as wise. I could have saved $13.000 on braces. $15.000 on private schools, endless dollars on cloths, food, entertainment, lessons, birthday parties, Christmas gifts.
    And I could have had a dog who loved me NO matter what. I am such a dumb a&$s.
    I could have had a dog, the 6 saddest words ever spoken by a teenagers mom.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    20,177
    I'm glad you printed it out here.. I went to the Craigslist link, only to read:
    This posting has been flagged for removal

    It's hilarious! Thank you very much! I'm sending it on to many others..
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,861
    Oldie but goodie!
    I've Been Frosted

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Wyoming, USA
    Posts
    4,102
    We made this into a poster and had it laminated. It's up on the wall at the humane society. Even funnier, one of the former board members put pictures of her own two kids on the poster.
    "We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

    "We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

    "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Westchester Cty, NY
    Posts
    8,738
    Variant on that: "My husband said either he goes or the cat goes...I'm going to miss him!)
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb

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