I just can't believe this...panic in gut UPDATE: #22; finally an email

[Catty1]

Okay, I'm a person 'in recovery' and I know it's a process...

met N. end of March...

We had a spat now and then...he has 29 years recovery in 2 addictions....

I guess gambling was left

Argument last Thursday...

Was home to rest and go to work Saturday night...

No word since. Has cell. Left calm messages...also telling him that if he didn't contact by noon today, all clothes would be packed.

They are.

Ex-wife says when he is gambling he gets violent.

Leaving on cruise Sept 10. Hate to have to get the locks changed. But I have to.

I hate having to. I hate the addictive sickness and him going over the edge.

Kind of a nightmare. I put me and him and everything in God's hands.

This just makes no sense...no sense...

I am not perfect, far from it - but for N. to get outbursts of anger and run away...that doesn't help solve anything.

Prayers, please.

[Catty1]

I know....but rats he has the keys! Will get that looked after, though.

[Queen of Poop]

Get those locks changed NOW!!!!!

I'm sorry this is going on, but don't procrastinate. You need to be done with him. He needs a wake up call. Change your locks, go on vacation and deal with the rest when you come back, rested and relaxed.

[Scooter's Mom]

Please send the kitties somewhere safe while you're away on your cruise.

[Catty1]

Re: kitties...they are already being boarded at the kennel where I used to work. Mom and I decided that the first day N went back out.

I've already emailed my property manager (fastest way to reach her) and asked about switching out the lock. It's possible that our handyman has a couple with keys lying around. If not, local hardware store will have some.

I am not all that concerned about him arriving while I am here...it's while I am away.

My downstairs neighbour, former railway cop, has been notified to keep an eye out.

And his other friends have been put on alert.

The damn thing about situations like this is that there was some GOOD in it...damn...

But N has to get healthier before he can even think of setting foot back in here.

It's just a true shame, and a waste of a human being...that's what it is.

Thank you ALL for the cautions...I am getting everything together, no worries.

[Pinot's Mom]

Prayers for everything to be OK.

[Medusa]

Some good is not good enough. But you know that, Candace, so I won't rub salt in the wound by harping on it. You deserve better and this much drama is not going to improve. It's bound to happen again only maybe next time it'll be worse. I'm glad that if it had to happen at all that it's happening now. Be rid of him, get the locks changed ASAP and go on that cruise w/a new beginning before you. Prayers going up for you right now, girlfriend.

[MoonandBean]

Sorry this is happening! You have gotten good advise. I will add Al-Anon if you're not already doing that. {HUGS}

[moosmom]

Medusa is a wise woman. Out to the curb with him and change the locks ASAP.

My daughter is engaged to a recovering alcoholic and he is wonderful. However, I do worry about relapses. I'm not one to point fingers because I've had relapses (the last one a year ago and believe me IT WAS AWFUL AND EMBARASSING). We talk and he said that his 7 year old son was what opened his eyes and made him realize he had a problem. He's been sober since.

I dated a guy who was in recovering as well. We looked out for each other, went to meetings together, etc. He turned out to be a real jerk, cheating on me. THE END. I'm glad I'm single.

Hang in there Candace. Stay strong for YOURSELF and your furbabies. You don't need someone like that to drag you down and jeopardize your sobriety.

[Catherinedana]

Candace,

His addiction is not your responsibility nor is it your cross to bear. Be strong, do the right thing and take care of yourself. You deserve the best in life!

Cathy

[Catty1]

Thanks, guys!

M&B - I went ROARING to an Al-Anon meeting on Friday - we have two here a week. Usually I am down the hall with my Bill friends - got a bit of good natured teasing afterwards about 'going to the other side' LOL.

Will make Fridays my meeting night...Monday is my home group, so may go back and forth.

Yes, I KNOW the stuff you say I know. Waiting to hear about the locks. As it turns out I don't have to go anywhere this morning and am supposed to call a guy in program about storing all this stuff in his garage.

[Alysser]

Catty, I am so sorry this is happening right now. Just remember, it's not you who needs to straighten out. I hope everything goes well and it'll work itself out, I promise. many (((Hugs)))

[phesina]

Candace, prayers for you. I am sorry you are going through this. As for advice, I agree with everyone else.

Take care. Love and hugs and purrs to you,
Pat, Peony, Sydney, Poppy, Elmer, Bob, and Sparkler

P.S., one of these for you, too: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...ng&cid=9092090

[cassiesmom]

Prayers for everything to be OK.

from here too

[K9karen]

One thing I love about you, C, is that you're so wise and strong. If anyone can handle this, you can. Of course it's horrible, but you're doing the best thing. I just want you to be safe and happy. You know I adore you.