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Thread: Accused of passing gas, man charged with battery

  1. #1
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    Accused of passing gas, man charged with battery

    As one poster on this story said, "Farts are funny unless you're a patrolman from South Charleston."
    POSTED BY: reynolds_wood on THU, SEP 25, 2008 02:10 PM -0500
    ************************************************** ***********************
    http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/0...tulence_charge

    Accused of passing gas, man charged with battery

    Wed Sep 24, 10:16 PM

    By The Associated Press

    SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

    Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

    As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

    Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

    "The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

    He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

    Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

    "I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

    He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

    Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

    "This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    As one poster on this story said, "Farts are funny unless you're a patrolman from South Charleston."

    Sheriff Taylor: Barney, You charged this man with what?
    Barney Fife: ANDY, he pooted and that wasn't the....
    ST: HE WHAT?
    BF: POOTED!
    ST: Come on Barney, Maybe he was sick!
    BF: You should know! Aunt Bea almost killed me with that lunch the
    other day!
    ST: Don't bring Aunt Bea into this conversation, you perversion of the law!
    BF I'm a perversion of the law? Look who still lives with his aunt!
    ST: Okay, I've had enough! One more word outta you and I'll tase you!
    BF: For what? Saying that Aunt Bea's cooking sucks?
    ST: Yea, and for being such a sissy because some guy pooted during a traffic stop!

    -----------

    Note to self.


    Book no vacations or drives thru South Charleston!

  3. #3
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    Oh for Petes Poopade.. Whats this world coming too?? Silly Silly.. By the way Richard loved your bio there..

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by RICHARD View Post
    Sheriff Taylor: Barney, You charged this man with what?
    Barney Fife: ANDY, he pooted and that wasn't the....
    ST: HE WHAT?
    BF: POOTED!
    ST: Come on Barney, Maybe he was sick!
    BF: You should know! Aunt Bea almost killed me with that lunch the
    other day!
    ST: Don't bring Aunt Bea into this conversation, you perversion of the law!
    BF I'm a perversion of the law? Look who still lives with his aunt!
    ST: Okay, I've had enough! One more word outta you and I'll tase you!
    BF: For what? Saying that Aunt Bea's cooking sucks?
    ST: Yea, and for being such a sissy because some guy pooted during a traffic stop!

    -----------

    Note to self.


    Book no vacations or drives thru South Charleston!
    LOL

    Wow, Id never thought Id see the day when farting was concidered a crime.

  5. #5
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    I guess some of them must be pretty poisonous....LOL. Maybe the cops' new weapon should be long matches....
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    I guess some of them must be pretty poisonous....LOL. Maybe the cops' new weapon should be long matches....
    LMFAO...

    good one hahahahaha




    R.I.P my dear Sweet Teddy. You will be missed forever. We love you.

    http://www.hannahshands.etsy.com

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    I guess some of them must be pretty poisonous....LOL. Maybe the cops' new weapon should be long matches....
    Well now would that be safe Candace?? What if the fart lit the match & KaaBoom.. Then the poor guy would be charged for setting the building on fire..

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
    <Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

  8. #8
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    All I know is that I work in an elementary school, and it can get pretty rank on burrito or chili day! I guess that would be teacher abuse!!
    Shannon, Boomer, and Sooner

  9. #9
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    My husband should be serving a life sentence, no possibility of parole.
    "We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

    "We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

    "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Twisterdog View Post
    My husband should be serving a life sentence, no possibility of parole.
    So would my Domino! GAK!!!

  11. #11
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    I heard that the offense happened during the fingerprinting at the station.

    Serves the cop right for pulling his finger!

  12. #12
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    Okay, I'm laughing out loud!!! You can probably hear me....Don't you know fingerprinters across the country are being just a tad bit more careful this morning!
    Shannon, Boomer, and Sooner

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