Bon gets read by Nancy (Update #25)

[anna_66]

I'm sure most of you here know who Nancy is, well I had a reading done with her yesterday.

I had emailed her about Bon. Here's my email if you care to read it...
Hi Nancy,
My name is Anna. I was referred to you by Staci M. She tells me that you are very busy at the moment so I understand it will be a while before you can get back to me.
I don't really know what and all you need, Staci says a picture and any questions I have. I'm not sure what kind of pictures you need so I'll send a few.
I guess my main question is why is Bon afraid of everything? It's been this way since he was a puppy. He's afraid to be outside, he mostly stays in the house. He's afraid if the neighbor is outside (and he's even met the neighbor and didn't seem to care about him one way or the other-the neighbor is even afraid of Bon), he's afraid to get out of the van. It seems like everything scares him. He's very insecure and I'm not sure why. I tried to make sure he was socialized, took him to school and everything, he was even afraid there. We quit going because he'd start to go after some of the dogs. We used to go to the dog park but the same thing happened there that happened at school.

What's prompted me to contact you was the recent incident. He bit me, bit me hard-I've been out of work for almost 2 weeks now.
He didn't attack me, I was feeding the dogs. He had his and I was handing the food to my other dog (Huney) and he came up and tried to take it away from her. It's really fuzzy, all I really remember was that I thought he was going to kill her and I had to get him off so I grabbed his collar. He bit me, just once but of course with a mouth as big as his that's all it takes. When I finally got them apart I took him out to the kennel and brought Huney in the house. When my husband came home to take me to the ER the two dogs got along just fine. They've always been best friends so I really don't understand what happened.
If you can help me with my big baby boy I'd be eternally grateful. He is precious and I do love him very much. I just want him to be happy.
Thank you

Well on the 6th I got this message back from her...
hi anna,
you were not next in line but when i was going through my list of readings, your dog just popped out and seemed to be the most urgent so i am going to start on him. i just tried to give you a call. can you please send me a picture of the other dog huney, i do not think she has anything to do with anything but i just want to rule that out. my number is 248-661-5597. you can call me tonight up until 10. i am in michigan. i have not really started him but he is so sad that i thought we should just start the reading.
=====================================
So any way she called yesterday and we talked for almost an hour, or should I say she talked. I really didn't have to tell her anything at all, she already knew it all.
Here's what she had to say....
state of turmoil-frenzy
lots of anxiety, worry, fear, stress
like 2 different animals
sensitive-emotional-feelings hurt-extremely upset-not confident
worries-feels at fault for many things-wrong-extremely upset
feels he always does wrong things
feels he doesn't live up to expectations-feels down
lots of anxiety & stress
scared & traumatized-not by anything that's happened, just feels this way
going through a bad faze
less confident than before
----------------------------------------------
house is safe & happy-safe haven
not a mean bone in his body-not aggressive-very nice dog
not aggressive-can't fill up his body-little dog in big body
could fear bite
panic attacks-doesn't see or hear anything when like that
----------------------------------------------
feels I'm not 100% comfortable with him-95% but not 100%-needs 100%
5% distrust feels like I hate him
I'm faking some-knows I love him but not unconditional love now
needs to feel safe w/me-that's why he needs to be with me ALL the time
needs to be fully accepted by us


Then all of a sudden she says wait...there's another dog...a "rottweiler"... he's taking up the whole page (guess all she could see at that moment was him)
OMG! Gave me chills all over. Thought rottweiler was still alive, his presence is so strong. He's here for Bon. That's why he feels so safe in the house.

She even told me some about him (Angus)...
One of a kind
not a lot of animals like him, will never find another like him
would risk his life to save someone
shows emotions
very maternal-thought he was a female
giving-nurturing-loving-kind-good energy
strong attachment to this family still


Wow, wow and just wow

Then she goes on to say how Bon feels about Mark...
skittish around him
Mark's not patient-not mistreating, just yells because he's frustrated with him
doesn't understand him
just can't brush it off and "get over it"
black mask dog and Mark stand together, they both feel the same way. Mark thinks black mask dog is better

Huney, Bon and I stand together

Likes Huney-good energy-makes him feel better about himself-no issues (that's good to hear!)-best friends
Only 2 safe zones right now...Huney and Home
====================================

She says we should never make him do what he's scared of, it could become a dangerous situation. She doesn't think meds really work because she's done readings on dogs taking meds and say they feel like their downing, which only makes them feel worse.
She did give me the name of a place (Green Hope Farm) that has all natural stuff that may be able to help him.

In all honesty there's not much we can do to help him besides making him feel 100% comfortable with us. She feels it's a chemical imbalance that he's always had.
Try to take him to quiet places around only a few people. Never take to a dog park or any place that is loud. It would only scare him and make him worse. If I can't or don't want to do this she said she would just keep him secluded at the house because he could do some damage if he went into another episode like he did when he bit me.

My poor boy I feel so guilty, but hopefully now we understand and will be able to make him feel more relaxed...at least around us.
She told me to take a couple days and think of any other questions I had and email her back.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Wow! she got all that from a picture??? She's amazing!

You now don't have to worry that Bon might be a bit of an old meanie and can love him unconditionally again.

[Ginger's Mom]

Aw, he is just a sensitive boy. It is nice to know what you are dealing with now, and how to handle it. I was actually quite pleased to see that he felt comfortable about Angus, and didn't see him as the dog that he wasn't living up to, but rather as a comforting presence. Alright I must admit that I did chuckle just a little (not that any of this is funny), but is Roxey the "black mask dog?" And does she really not like him? I am pleased to know that my pretty little Huney girl has made him feel welcome.

[ramanth]

Thanks for pointing me towards this. Poor Bon. I can't imagine always being scared. At least you now know how to help him. And that gave me goosebumps to hear that Angus is still there helping. What a good boy.

*HUGS*

[Cinder & Smoke]

feels he always does wrong things

Then she goes on to say how Bon feels about Mark...
skittish around him
black mask dog and Mark stand together, they both feel the same way. Mark thinks black mask dog is better


In all honesty there's not much we can do to help him
besides making him feel 100% comfortable with us.

Dunno ... I think she's being a bit harsh with Mark and Roxey.

Some of her points appear to be right-on - he may feel insecure, but you CAN work on that.

Ask her what BON would like you two to do,
and what changes he'd like to see made.
Maybe Bon could suggest some Family Activities that HE'd enjoy.

[shais_mom]

poor Bon Bon!!
what an interesting reading and how amazing that Angus came thru!!
amazing.
So does that mean that Angus is like Bon's guardian Angel?
Did she say what if anything Bon feels when people come over?
He doesn't act as tho it bothers him, he seems happy we were there.
give that blockhead a big hug from Aunt Staci!

[shais_mom]

Dunno ... I think she's being a bit harsh with Mark and Roxey.

Some of her points appear to be right-on - he may feel insecure, but you CAN work on that.

Ask her what BON would like you two to do,
and what changes he'd like to see made.
Maybe Bon could suggest some Family Activities that HE'd enjoy.

it isn't HER being harsh - its
what Bon is relaying to her.
Anna kept mentioning on Saturday that Roxey is Mark's best girl.
interesting tho how he visualizes you standing with him and Huney and Mark standing with Roxey...

[Kfamr]

Wow. Sure gave me goosebumps, especially the part where Angus came in.

[pitc9]

Nancy is an amazing person! When I read about a reading she's done, I've never heard of anyone not getting a full reading. (She's never just said I don't know...she always finds all answers)

I had goosebumps when she mentioned Angus... Oh Anna... that has to make you feel so happy to know that he's still there (why wouldn't he be )
And to know that Bon loves Huney has to be Very comforting to you as well.

I agree with you Staci, it's not Nancy being harsh that's just the way Bon feels.

[Catty1]

Craftlady also knows about natural calming remedies. Would even Rescue Remedy be too strong for him?

I liked the idea of asking Nancy what Bon would like to do, suggestions on how to make things better.

[gemini9961]

Anna that is amazing. I hope that this will shed some light on your situation. Poor boy.

[RobiLee]

I'm still disappointed that Bon didn't let Nancy know that he likes it when Aunt Robin comes to visit . Hmmm, and I wonder what he really thinks of Tori. Does he really like her and like to play with her?

Now you know how he is feeling and you can do small things to help make him feel more at ease. I think Bon is a wonderful boy and I love hanging out with him. He is so soft and I love to pet him and just lay on the floor with him. I don't know what it is but for some reason Bon brings me comfort. Maybe because I've known him since he was a puppy, maybe it's his size, I don't know all I know is that when I hang out with him and pet that silky coat it really comforts and relaxes me.

I found the whole thing fascinating and I'm eager to have her read my dogs.

{{{BIG HUGS TO MY SPECIAL BOY}}}

[K9soul]

Very fascinating. It seems to me similar to an insecure person, and how they may view things in a more sensitive manner than others. A lot of how you describe Bon as being so jittery and skittish is how Tommy has always been too. However through the years and gently trying to put him in situations where he is enjoying himself, I think he has definitely improved. I also tried never to force anything. I've used his favorite toys to passively try to get him more comfortable around things and situations that made him more nervous, and it does seem to help distract him from his nervousness. I definitely think Bon could improve with time and patience, but I doubt he'll never be a bold and confident dog. Thanks so much for sharing this Anna.

[shais_mom]

I'm still disappointed that Bon didn't let Nancy know that he likes it when Aunt Robin comes to visit . {{{BIG HUGS TO MY SPECIAL BOY}}}

And Aunt Staci!
I think this might be the push I need to get Kloe and Keegan read - altho a reading of Kloe scares me more than Keegan and Kylie - I think she'll call me everything but a white woman!

[anna_66]

Alright I must admit that I did chuckle just a little (not that any of this is funny), but is Roxey the "black mask dog?" And does she really not like him? I am pleased to know that my pretty little Huney girl has made him feel welcome.

Yep, it's Roxey. She didn't say that Roxey didn't like him but that she feels he just needs to "get over it!", Ya know like, he's a big boy he shouldn't be so scared of everything, big baby...stuff like that.
You'd never know the night I brought him home that Huney & him would be buds. She couldn't stand him! I'm just glad he has one true friend.

Phred,
Mark KNEW she would have something like that to say about him. He knows he raises his voice to him quite often and blames him for stuff like slobbering all over (big one of the problems-he can't help it but it's so nasty) and is going to work on being more patient and understanding with him.

Craftlady also knows about natural calming remedies. Would even Rescue Remedy be too strong for him?

I liked the idea of asking Nancy what Bon would like to do, suggestions on how to make things better.

I've heard of Rescue Remedy but never knew what it was (still don't-will look up) so I'm not sure if it would be too strong or not.
I'll have to pm Craftlady-thanks.

I too like the idea of asking her what Bon would like to do.

Robin & Staci, I think I will ask her if he likes company...especially Aunt Robin & Aunt Staci And you know that Kylie loves you, even if she doesn't show it...lol!

Jess, she actually compared him to her son. She said he is the same way but he can tell her what's wrong, where on the other hand Bon can't. I HATE that he will never be that bold and confident dog.

It really floored me when she told me about Angus. She had him down to a T. It makes me feel very good that he is here for Bon, I just want him to be happy and if being here does that then I'm thrilled. I will be having her do a reading on Angus since she's picked up on him so much (without a picture I might add)

I also had a couple more questions myself...

-How do I make him understand that I put him in his kennel to feed him for every ones safety, not because I don't trust him (I'm thinking this is why he feels I don't trust him completely)

-Does he feel better since we talked and know I'm not faking and love and trust him 100%

-Why does he insist on giving his paw when we consistently tell him no

If there is any other questions you all can think of please post them.