I was trying to perk up sad older dog with new dog, now I think she feels worse

[sherrykk]

I just got this new little dog the other day and have since learned valuable introduction techniques, such as the scent trading for introducing the two dogs. I feel just awful about not researching it first. I did introduce them at a neutral place and they did fine. I think there is still hope since the little guy is just as sweet and good as can be. He is bonding to me and I want the two of them to bond. My special older dog is the love of my life and we have been through so much. She has been very sad with so many changes. Her buddy died 8 months ago, divorce, moving and through all the stress she developed diabetes. I have adjusted my work schedule around her but she is so sad when the dog sitters are here that she won't even go out to walk. She is happy and smiling when I am around. I was hoping a little 4 legged spirit around the house would help. Can anyone help? I am so close to her and I just want to help her. I will return the little guy if I need to. Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Sherry

[WELOVESPUPPIES]

Awww. I wish I had some suggestions for you. If you put this in the dog section you will get more responses. Good luck.

[Karen]

I have moved this into Dog Behavior.

If it has only been a couple days, give it some time for her to adjust to him, and vice versa. Make sure she still gets some "alone time" with you. Are there any games she likes that you might teach the new guy?

How old are both dogs, and what breeds, just out of curiosity.

[SemaviLady]

So sorry about so much recent loss in your life! Can see how a pup with the spark of life, acceptance and ability to adopt to change can really be helpful to you.

Often older settled dogs that are sad, do not think of new interlopers as being part of the family too quickly. It takes time and they don't necessarily come to love on the young upstart at all. They don't think of puppies as we do as adorable and irresistible cuties. Sometimes it's more along the lines of 'that annoying pestering rodent that's shadowing us all'.

There isn't much information to go on regarding breed differences, size, and personality as well as age. But often very mature dogs are a bit put out by the energy of puppies.

Some breeds are a bit more maternal (including the males, eg the flock guardian breeds) and some will adopt the new kid and begin acting as a tolerant doting grandparent whose grandkid can do no harm -- but who greatly appreciates when the human 'parent' helps the older dog get needed space from time to time. After the upstart gets to be too spoiled on the 'grand'dog's terms, they being laying down the doggie rules.

Good luck!

[crazzzybabs]

it's more along the lines of 'that annoying pestering rodent that's shadowing us all'.

This is absolutely what I would say, as well. But, I would like to add my personal story to help you find inspiration to keep your beloved puppy:

My 5-yr old lab/pitt bull mix, Scooter, was an only dog who never got exercise or any kind of discipline until I convinced the owner (a neighbor) to let me take her off his hands. She has always been a total sweethart to people, but always practiced avoidance of other dogs. If another dog got close to her, she'd snap and fight, if the dog snapped back. I decided Scooter needed to learn some tolerance (plus had a big, new house that I was ready to fill with dogs) so I went to the pound and adopted Chuck, a 3-yr-old dachsund/shi tzu mix.

Chuck loved Scooter, but his feelings weren't returned. Scooter neither wanted to smell him or be smelled by him. We had to kind of force it at first. There were a few rough fights between the two of them and within about 4 months' time, Scooter was actually initiating play with Chuck. Several months later, she was willing to play with just about any dog. It's been a complete 180 for her.

Now, I'm not saying that you can expect the same thing, but please know that it CAN happen. I imagine that the older dog will tolerate the puppy much more once the puppy calms down a little in a few months. In the meantime, help them bond by taking them for walks together, feeding them at the same time, and giving equal praise and attention to both. Do not feel sorry for your older dog because you will only nurture his grumpiness. Praise him when he sniffs or even just looks at the puppy. He'll learn what you want from him. Good Luck!

[erinzillaud]

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My husband and I have a four year old lab/retriever mix. She is the best dog I have ever had, and is his first dog (though he wanted one all growing up). So, we got Cali from the Humane Society a little over two years ago. She is well-behaved and a very happy-go-lucky dog. We have been taking her to the dog park in order to give her time with other dogs and she loved it so much, that we starting talking about getting another dog "a dog for Cali." We thought it might also be good because her previous owners were abusive and she has separation anxiety (whining, complete and total sadness, heart-breaking things!)
We did a lot of research and settled on a smaller dog (she got along better with them at the park). We have had Miles (male papillon, docile, very lovable, a "cuddle" dog) for three days now. I realize this is not very long, but Cali almost completely ignores Miles. We were so hopeful that she would be as happy as she is at the dogpark, but she seems more miserable than ever! They have never fought, and there are no problems with dominance, but Cali just seems to be miserable. We followed the advice for introducing them to a "T." Is this something time will fix? We have Miles for a "trial run" right now. Should we give him up? I've fallen in love with him; so, that would be a last resort, but Cali's personality has become so depressed, my heart breaks for her.
Any advice?
Thanks.

[crazzzybabs]

There's two things to make sure you're doing:
1. If your lab mix doesn't hang out with you on the sofa, don't let the little one up there. It shows favoritism in the dogs' eyes and your lab may be feeling like it's not as important anymore.

2. Be sure to spend some alone time with your lab. This could be just throwing a ball around or teaching him a new trick. It shows him that he's still important.

Also, don't expect that they will get along right away. It may just take a little while. Do you take them for walks together? Do they do anything together to help them bond?

[carrie]

It is all about sorting out the pack order - dominance. The dog that ignores the longest will be the most dominant and there is nothing you can do about it. The worst thing you can do is show any preference to either dog and if the original dog is allowed on sofas, beds (aaaaggghh!) or is allowed any "human" status at all then the new dog has to show any natural dominance over the original dog in a more extreme way. Dogs can only interact with each other and with their owners as dogs. Treat your dogs as though they are dogs and they will sort it out - you can not decide who is the more dominant of the two.