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Thread: Why cats make me curse!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Why cats make me curse!

    Everyone know that Edward D Katz is possible the smartest cat in the world!

    I think he's part dog, homing pigeon and jokester.

    He's also a pest exterminator.

    Ed and I have an agreement. He pays attention, behaves and keep me entertained.

    Again, last night was no different.

    --------------

    Ed loves the walk from my house to my mom's pad. The trust between us is amazing. I open the door, he walks out and stops to see where the dogs are.
    The dogs come over and do the obligitory rear sniff and the Edster, properly offened, scoots into the my mom's back door. Not last night.

    The dogs, properly conditioned to accept the feline part of the world, let the neighborhood kittles roam the yard..

    Ed wanted to go next door so I opened the door. The Edster walks out and stops at his usual stopping point. He looks into the shadows, crouches and RUNS!

    I know that he's on the side of the house-I can hear the chihuahuas barking up a storm. I begin my slow slide into the dark sie of cursing.

    Four hundred things run through my mind.....60% bad, 40% no too bad and 200% are X rated curses.

    Barefoot, I take off in pursuit. I make the corner take two steps onto the driveway and put my foot into the biggest, nastiest slug on the planet.

    THIS DUDE WAS HUGE. It was so big that I smeared him about six inches and almost slipped and killed myself. Curses.

    O.K., Now I have slug snot on my foot, my cat has run away and I have no flash light....Lovely. BAD curses..

    All the while the yappers next door are barking up a storm.....ANd I am cursing.

    I stop at the faucet and wash my foot off, I have to go back and get my sandals because every small rock is getting in my way...More curses!

    Being dark outside I go back to my place to get a flashlight and my shoes...

    I get shoes but the flashlight batteries in the big one are dead, I pick up a smaller version and make my woyu out and I am...you got it...CURSING!

    I head back to the front yard and still the dogs are barking, I am cursing.


    I don't see anything, I run to the back yard-cursing, of course....and see nothing.


    Cursing.

    I head back to the front yard and the barking circus next door and see that the motion sensor light is on! I shine my pitiful light into the dark part of the yard and see two luminous eyes looking at me.

    THANK GOD...I return to my cursing....
    Ed, properly amused, starts to run when I approach.....a little curse and I capture him for our curse-laden return trip to my house.

    With the proper curse, we walk thru the door and plan on going to sleep.

    I hesitate on my bedtime prayers. God probably don't want to hear from a foul mouthed dude like me, so, I do the next best thing-

    I BLAME IT ON THE EDSTER, get my prayers said and we both are off to sleep....


    Amen!
    Last edited by RICHARD; 08-14-2007 at 04:11 PM.
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Windham, Vermont, USA
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    40,861
    Ewww, yick! I thought the huge, gross slugs were only in the Oregon and Washington area. Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick!

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    40,169
    And Edsters saying whats the problem Dad, I just wanted some fresh air. It wasnt as though I was running away from home. By and by you should get that slug off of your foot.
    PU!!!!
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
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    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    SE USA
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    You blamed it on the Edster?? Shame, shame! Sounds like a real adventure out in the dark of night, barefooted, stepping on slugs....EWWWWWWW!

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laura's Babies
    You blamed it on the Edster?? Shame, shame! Sounds like a real adventure out in the dark of night, barefooted, stepping on slugs....EWWWWWWW!

    Why not?

    I had to kill the slug!
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    My life is God filtered :)
    Posts
    14,052
    Well, at least you had pants on this time......
    ...or so I hope....
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
    --unknown

    Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see
    --Polar Express

    Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by slick
    Well, at least you had pants on this time......
    ...or so I hope....
    Peh!

    I was dressed! It's my shoes that I missed!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
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    columbus, ohio, usa
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    richard, please for the sake of your soul, invest in and leave some flip flops by the door.
    joyce who has princess peanut, spokesdog for the catpack, mojo, magic, kira and squirty, members of the catpack, angel duke, a good dog who is missed and angel alex the wonder dog, handsome prince.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
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    18,311
    Geez RICHARD, would you at LEAST let me get a couple if sips of coffee in me before you post stuff like this??? The minute you started describing the Edster, I knew I was in for coffee on the laptop. I knew I should've moved it.

    What??? You only RINSED your slug-boogied foot off before going to bed??? Eeeeewwwwww, ickickickick!!!

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by moosmom

    What??? You only RINSED your slug-boogied foot off before going to bed??? Eeeeewwwwww, ickickickick!!!

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!
    I did clean up before I went to bed-and trust me, no amount of washing will get the sensation outta my head!

    Slug boogied...I like that!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,215
    Ewwwwwwwww! I have never stepped on a slug and never want to! I would be like you, cursing lol. I"m am glad you got Edster back


    Kalei
    I will love you forever Bobo

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