Cute!

[Tanya&Fritz]

Rules for Stray Cats

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled
will absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen
claws on new .99 sisal rope cat scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter
pan, with a three panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old
blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special KittyKomfortBed with
nonallergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
covers, except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb
USING IT.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Fister, are you listening? This sounds like it was written just for him.

[Randi]

Fister here! speaking from the yard. Shhh, John doesn't know! I'll get back to you tomorrow. My mum just can't seem get me in through the door, I've got a taste for the outdoor life - especially in the summer!! Should I let her get some sleep tonight?

Randi here! I think I better go and shake the dry food bag - or I'll be sitting here all night!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Oh Fister ---the star-filled sky on a summer night -- right? I bet you'll be singing a different tune come January when that feather bed beckons louder than any moonlight stroll!

[Randi]

Fister here! I'm back - after all, it's nicer to lay on a soft duvet, and I can even prevent my humans from reading or watching those silly TV programs! I had a good long sleep tonight, it is a bit exhausting running around in the yard all evening! Just before I came up though, I had to try and chase that nasty IB (silly name for a cat!) away, he had just come out, so I was lucky not to get into a fight! You see, I lost the best part of my front teeth, so I can't defend myself as well as earlier!