need advice about my brother

[sparks19]

Well it seems my younger brother is going through a rough time. This is gonna be long so bear with me.

OK.....

He is 17.... turns 18 this year. Since he started highschool he has been at a live in private school. His mom is a little.... overbearing. He got in some trouble when he was in elementary school and she has never let him live that down. Nothing serious or anything just teenage trouble making. But now he is 17 .... is on the honor role in school.... had a good summer job and is planning to go to university for sports management. But his mom is always on his case about everything and her new husband is the same way. I know this really bothers my brother and he is afraid to talk to her about anything and always gets someone else to talk to her if he needs something.

He has been seriously dating this girl for sometime now and I know he really cares about her. Well she broke up with him (reason unknown to me) and I know he was really hurt by that.... then after that he found out that his BEST friend was talking her into doing it so that he could try to get her in bed. he confronted her about this and apparently she blew up and they got in a big argument..... after that he took off from the school for the night. He is back at school now even though he doesn't want to be and he is starting to shut people out. He won't speak to his mom at all, he is starting to treat his friends badly and gets angry at them for everything and won't talk to them.... etc etc. He is just shutting everyone out.

I have not talked to him yet but I will. We have always been really close and I hope he doesn't shut me out.

IMO, I think this betrayal of trust by his best friend is really messing with him not to mention losing his g/f that I'm sure he was in love with.I think he's feeling like he can't trust anyone and that if he lets anyone get close to him he will get hurt again. I suggested to my dad that they try to get him to a psychologist. I saw one when I was his age and went through a really rough time with my sister and it really helped me having an unbiased person to just LISTEN. I don't want him to let this ruin him. he's a great person and really smart and can do A LOT with his life if he doesn't let this eat him up. Everyone is really worried about him including me and I wish I knew what to do to help him.

[joycenalex]

a neutral ear to listen is a good suggestion.

[moosmom]

Boy, what an awful thing for your poor brother to be going through. He probably feels very betrayed right now. Like Joycelenax said, a neutral ear to listen is probably a great idea.

Just be there for him. Let him know you're there for him. That I'm sure will help alot.

[crow_noir]

Yes, let him know that you see how jaded he is at the world and that it's completely understandable. Let him know that you care and that you worry for him. Maybe print out what you typed here and show it to him.

Well it seems my younger brother is going through a rough time. This is gonna be long so bear with me.

OK.....

He is 17.... turns 18 this year. Since he started highschool he has been at a live in private school. His mom is a little.... overbearing. He got in some trouble when he was in elementary school and she has never let him live that down. Nothing serious or anything just teenage trouble making. But now he is 17 .... is on the honor role in school.... had a good summer job and is planning to go to university for sports management. But his mom is always on his case about everything and her new husband is the same way. I know this really bothers my brother and he is afraid to talk to her about anything and always gets someone else to talk to her if he needs something.

He has been seriously dating this girl for sometime now and I know he really cares about her. Well she broke up with him (reason unknown to me) and I know he was really hurt by that.... then after that he found out that his BEST friend was talking her into doing it so that he could try to get her in bed. he confronted her about this and apparently she blew up and they got in a big argument..... after that he took off from the school for the night. He is back at school now even though he doesn't want to be and he is starting to shut people out. He won't speak to his mom at all, he is starting to treat his friends badly and gets angry at them for everything and won't talk to them.... etc etc. He is just shutting everyone out.

I have not talked to him yet but I will. We have always been really close and I hope he doesn't shut me out.

IMO, I think this betrayal of trust by his best friend is really messing with him not to mention losing his g/f that I'm sure he was in love with.I think he's feeling like he can't trust anyone and that if he lets anyone get close to him he will get hurt again. I suggested to my dad that they try to get him to a psychologist. I saw one when I was his age and went through a really rough time with my sister and it really helped me having an unbiased person to just LISTEN. I don't want him to let this ruin him. he's a great person and really smart and can do A LOT with his life if he doesn't let this eat him up. Everyone is really worried about him including me and I wish I knew what to do to help him.

[sparks19]

Well I talked to him. Things are going a bit better for him. He's ready to be done highschool and move on to university. Him and his g/f are back together and things are going well so he seems happy about that.

His main problem is his mom. I can't say i blame him after seeing how she treats him. I told him that I understand how he feels after going through VERY similar situations with my sister when i was younger but while I am still not close with her.... I have learned that life is TOO short to be angry. But he is very hurt by her actions. I told him that she is upset that he won't speak with her and she wants to try to talk to him without arguing. I told him that he should call her and try and if she starts arguing with him to stay calm and just tell her that he does not wish to speak to her until she can control her anger with him..... if he doesn't get mad and just stays calm and tells her that perhaps she will open her eyes and see what she is doing to their relationship.... or what is left of it. At least he can say he TRIED to open the lines of communication. I told him that while he may be angry with her and want her to feel as bad as she makes him feel.... his life is his OWN and not her's and he shouldn't do anything out of anger that will affect his future because he has a really bright one.

He said he was going to call her last night. I don't know if he actually did or not though.


I don't know if I got through to him at all or if I even helped but I hope I did.

[crow_noir]

Well, that's good that he'd at least talk to you. Hopefully things continue to look up for him!