"I know I'm a big, scary, Black man..."

[Lobodeb]

So, I'm on my way to work this morning and I'm stopped at a stop light. A man taps on my window. I do as I always do, roll my window down only an inch or two because I can't hear what he's saying as he's pointing to the back end of my car. I thought I was dragging something or my car was smoking or what have you. He tells me, "I know I'm a big, scary, Black man, but I don't want to hurt you." Then goes on to tell me about him not having any money and he ran out of gas. His initial comment upset me something awful. Was it because I only rolled my window down a little? I would have done that if it was a White man, a Hispanic man, a green man, etc. Criminals come in all shapes and sizes, but for him to assume that I'm a racist like that really got my goat. I would have helped him had it not been for his bone headed comment. I even asked him why he had to say that, but I didn't stick around for his response. I drove off.

Sorry for the rant, but his comment bothered me in 2 ways, that a) he thought I was afraid of the big Black man and 2) that society has treated him in such a way to stereotype me that way. So sad....

[rosethecopycat]

Hey, I don't lower my window to anyone.
Not even a tiny, scary grandmother.

[critter crazy]

Hey, I don't lower my window to anyone.
Not even a tiny, scary grandmother.

I am the same way!! I dont care who you are, if i am without hubby, and especially with my kids, i dont stop for anyone!!

[K9soul]

I think it's very sad that you left him without any help simply because you perceived some insult in what I would have interpreted as him just trying to break the ice and alleviate any nervousness you might have. I'd be a bit nervous for any man to approach me in my car alone,but if he had come to me and said that I'd have smiled and laughed and said he's not scary to me and helped him. Helping our fellow man shouldn't be conditional, especially since he happened to choose words that he may not have meant in the way you took them at all, but that's my opinion.

[Vela]

You are assuming he assumed you were racist. SO assumptions aside, he probably just didn't know how to initiate conversation, and perhaps he has been treated by others to the point where he feels most people are scared of him and in all reality was probably not directed towards saying you are racist in any way. I think you are reading too much into it, but it's too bad that you drove off and left and didn't help him based on an assumption=(

[caseysmom]

I wouldn't like anyone approaching my window. That being said I wouldn't have minded his comment...I think a lot of people might perceive that and he was being honest with the experiences he had.

[Lobodeb]

... he probably just didn't know how to initiate conversation...

A simple "excuse me" would have worked just fine. He was nicely dressed and had a pretty fancy cell phone that he was waving around. There wasn't much he needed from me that I could give him based on his appearance.

I normally don't think twice about helping someone if they're in need.

[Vela]

Well it's your perogative to feel insulted if you wish, but you are making all sorts of assumptions about him, yet being angry you think he made an assumption about you. He obviously did need help, or he probably wouldn't have asked.

[lizbud]

You've got to admit he did get your attention, didn't he? Sounds
like that's what he wanted to do so he could tell you his story. I wouldn't
have engaged in any conversation with him or opened my wallet for anyone.
Black, purple, or green,makes no difference.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

It's just not safe to open your window or unlock your door for someone you don't know. How many women have gone missing trying to help someone by doing that? He had a cell phone. He could have called a buddy or the auto club or something or even a policeman would have helped him.
You can't tell about a person by the way he dresses.

Nope! No way, no how open those doors.

[Lobodeb]

He obviously did need help, or he probably wouldn't have asked.

But, there are scammers out there trying to make a quick buck who ruin it for people who really need help and sadly, I'll never know.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

But, there are scammers out there trying to make a quick buck who ruin it for people who really need help and sadly, I'll never know.

He could just have easily waited for a man to stop at that light and ask him for help. If he didn't have any money for gas, why was he driving a car that would need some? Something's not quiet right here.

[Laura's Babies]

I make it a habit not to help beggers like that. The few times I have, I watched them afterwards and they did not use the money in the way they asked for.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I've met him.....twice. The first time I gave him money and realized immediately I had been taken. The second time...when he was in the very same spot with the very same story.... I called the police. I was not the first to call about him.

When I gave him a five dollar bill he told me it was not enough....he stood on the off ramp from the Edens....

I was so angry that I allowed myself to be taken....

[cassiesmom]

I think it's very sad that you left him without any help simply because you perceived some insult in what I would have interpreted as him just trying to break the ice and alleviate any nervousness you might have. I'd be a bit nervous for any man to approach me in my car alone,but if he had come to me and said that I'd have smiled and laughed and said he's not scary to me and helped him. Helping our fellow man shouldn't be conditional, especially since he happened to choose words that he may not have meant in the way you took them at all, but that's my opinion.

What's sad is that he felt the need to stereotype himself that way- as a big, scary, black man who would be perceived as a potential risk by a female in a car.

The unfortunate reality is that word gets around among panhandlers and soon you end up being asked for help by many because you helped one. Lobodeb, you did right.