For EVERYONE to read

[buttercup132]

A really nice fellow PTer pmed me telling me I wasnt acting the same and was being really snappy and kinda rude to alot of people. I just thought I'd try to explain why and what I think the problem is.

1) I recently lost Buddy who was a amazing horse I can finish riding him tilll the end of the month until then I'm done until spring. Riding is a MAJOR stress reliver for me. It clears my mind of alot of things and makes me feel alot better.
I havnt been riding for the past week causing me to be really stressed and having it all held in.

2)My friend and I were on bad terms, its a really complicated realationship and I do say some things behind her back if I dont like what she has done and I think someone over herd me and told her. I acted calm about it and now this week things are back to normal.

3)I have TONS of homework to catch up on because I dont have lunch with my good friends Ive been skipping english class to go to lunch with them. And I have been sick with who knows what and have gone home a couple times.

4)This is the major problem with me on PT right now is two certain members on here that keep harassing me.
I'm sure you know who the one is , and I dont get why she cant leave me alone. Ive tried to keep my temper cool with her but I'm am about ready to burst!!

The other PT member tries to be a constant know it all when she knows nothing at all and is just trying to seem like she knows more then everyone. And has beeen pming me and friends trying to make it seem likes shes king sh*t and better then everyone. And claming that we are cruel to our animals and that she is a expert on every animal. And ya she would be the one who was saying I had acne issues(not that I have a problemw ith people who do but I know for one I dont) She just hasnt hit puburty yet because shes so young and dosent know that people *gasp* DO get pimples!!

People constantly have been posting in the wrong area and I dont understand why. Its not hard to read the links ,there in bold!
Why cant people take the time to put them in the right places!?!!?!?

5) One of my best friends is going to rehab for 4 months because of a drinking problem.

6) I have been getting into alot of fights at school with fellow peers.

7) My job dosent pay enough and I dont get enough hours so I am running super low on money (wich is another reason why I havnt got a new horse) I can barley pay my phone bill. Ive been trying to get a new job but the one place that actually called didnt hire me because I wont give up my other grooming job because they offered for my schooling. I cant work at a place like walkmart because of my peircings and the one by my eye I cant take out because it will close very fast.
Id love to work at petsmart but they wont even let you dye your hair!!!
And I'm sure they flip if they ever found out I had tattoos (and I'm getting a noticable one soon) so IF I did work there I'd always have to cover it.
Same with Walmarts.
I wont work at a fast food place because its too rushed the people that come in are also usually in a rush and become grumpy if you do the slightest thing wrong. And I dont feel comfortable in that enviroment because when I worked at tim Hortons I got hit on by older men wich made me uncomfortable and there was one guy who would come evrytime I was working and would only let me serv him.

8) Little problems at home that just come up

9) I don really have anyone to talk to from PT who would understand where I'm coming from. The only person who I was reallly good friends with was Breanna (Roxyluvsme13) but she cant afford internet and he laptop got stolen so..

I know people on PT say pm if you want to talk but I cant just randomly pm someone and just start ranting , that would be a little awkward.

Thats all for now
I just thought Id try to explain some problems and why I am grumpy latley. I cant not come on PT the adorale aniamls pictures on here make me happy. And I still like knowing whats going on, so taking a break form PT I dont think would be a good idea.

Noone has to reply but I just want everyone to read this to know.

[Husky15]

I know that you know who I am, but I'm gonna reply.

Those are lots of things to have on your plate and I know I'd be getting pretty down from all that.

We haven't really started a big fight, just talked things over on PM. I don't want to be on bad terms with you or anybody else on this site. So shall we call it a truce?

The person who has been PMing you and saying you have acne problems is very immature. One day she'll get pimples and we'll see what she thinks then. To be honest, I don't think I've heard of something more immature then that.

By the way, sometimes taking a break really helps. But if you think it wouldn't then that's your decision.

[k9krazee]

Maybe you just need a little break from PT? I know that there've been times where things got stressful and its always good to leave for a bit and take a deep breath.

Oh, I just read that you don't think taking a break would be a good idea. *shrugs*

[luvofallhorses]

I agree with Ashley. Maybe you should take a break from pet talk for a little while to cool down. everyone needs a break once in awhile.

People constantly have been posting in the wrong area and I dont understand why. Its not hard to read the links ,there in bold!
Why cant people take the time to put them in the right places!?!!?!?

sometimes people mean to put them in the right places and newbies don't know where to put the thread. I am just saying. take care and I hope things get better for you soon! I really do.

[catnapper]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

We all have challenges in life. Its life, no excuse to be condemning to others. Stress only gets worse the older you get. If you are so stressed and behind in school, why on earth spend so much time here? This should be way down on priorities. Homework and school first.

As for the people posting in wrong areas, I was here nearly a year before I realized there was anything outside cat general! I stay away from Dog General for personal reasons so Miss Nicki doesn't get the exposure she deserves.

As a mom, I want to scream at you: what on earth are you skipping class for?!?! Stop that now young lady!!

[wolf_Q]

The other PT member tries to be a constant know it all when she knows nothing at all and is just trying to seem like she knows more then everyone. And has beeen pming me and friends trying to make it seem likes shes king sh*t and better then everyone. And claming that we are cruel to our animals and that she is a expert on every animal. And ya she would be the one who was saying I had acne issues(not that I have a problemw ith people who do but I know for one I dont) She just hasnt hit puburty yet because shes so young and dosent know that people *gasp* DO get pimples!!

People constantly have been posting in the wrong area and I dont understand why. Its not hard to read the links ,there in bold!
Why cant people take the time to put them in the right places

Is this supposed to be an apology for your behavior? If so, I found it rude...even if this person was being that way with you, you publicly being rude back is not going to solve anything. I think you need to work out your problems with these PTers with Karen, or simply put them on your ignore list.

If somebody posting in the wrong area bothers you so much, then just ignore it or at least tell them in a *polite* manner. Not everyone knows exactly how to use a forum, especially if they are new. I'm sure I made mistakes like that when I first joined Pet Talk, and I certainly would not still be here if I was treated that way in my first few posts. You are not the PT Police, you can notify Karen if a thread needs to be moved, she is the only one that can do it anyway.

We all have issues in our lives (some much worse than yours I guarantee it), but please try to not take it out on everyone else here at Pet Talk.

[Husky15]

I cant work at a place like walkmart because of my peircings and the one by my eye I cant take out because it will close very fast.

They actually have things out for that. I forget what they're called, but they're like clear things that you stick in your piercing holes for reasons such as the one why you can't work at Wal-Mart and it will make it so you can't really tell that you have a piering but keep it healed at the same time. But where your piercing is located it would be easier to see it, so that might not even work.

[Corinna]

I know we all have "issuses" in our lives so thats not an excuse . I want to say this as help not to be critical. I have found some of your replies come from your heart and you mean well by them . But my mom told me something all my life, it's not what you say but how you say it. there are ways to tell some one to go to blazes and do it so they almost thank you for it.
I have found a lot of newer people have that problem so it's not just you. As a member of the older generation we were taught langauge and it useage , today the schools just don't do that. it's not the fault of the kids or teachers just so much PC (politacal correctness) and mandated junk they have to teach ( Alot that should be a parents responabilty)that real learning and socailay acceptable skills are passed by . (sorry I just will get off my soap box now.
I don't think a break is what you need but just think and read your replies a couple times put your self in the other persons place how would you feel if you got that reply. (this goes for most all of us I know I have been guilty of it too)

[Daisy and Delilah]

buttercup-I really think it took guts on your part to come forward and explain your reasons for rudeness. Thanks to the nice PT'er that PM'd you. That was a great effort on their part to keep peace among our community members here. After saying that; I agree with Kim(catnapper) in saying that things will only get worse as you get older. It's unfortunate but true. Yes, believe it, you'll look back on what you're going through now and it will be known in the future as "some of the best days of your life". Paying a phone bill will be nothing compared to paying rent/mortgage, water bill, car payment, car insurance, clothing costs for your family, food costs, childcare expenses, electric bill, heating fuel bill, gasoline bill, medical bills(doctors, prescriptions, hospital bills), etc. etc., in addition to the phone bill. I'm sorry but that's only part of it.
It really bothers me that you seem to think that everyone should know everything about this board. I was here for over two years before I knew anything besides commenting on DOTD. Give people a break. They have to learn. Just because you know where things are, doesn't mean everyone else does.
I'm really sorry that you couldn't have said something nice to Tim about his kid's pictures. Those are his children for heaven's sake. Some day you might have children too. How would you feel if someone didn't even acknowledge the pictures of your beautiful children that you're so proud of? He was so happy to share his children with all of us and what did he get from you? A cold response that indicated he was posting in the wrong area. Put yourself in his place. While I'm on this subject. This isn't the first rude comment you've made to other members. Correct me if I'm wrong fellow PT'ers, but, your rudeness started a long long time ago.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're having problems. We all have problems. Some days I'm lucky to be able to walk into the kitchen to get my pain pills for the terrible arthritis I suffer from. We have many members here with similar or worse problems than I have. That's just one of my problems but believe me, there are many. I just choose not to elaborate here. I'll just say this, I could tell you stories that could curl your hair. Now, having said that, no matter how many hardships I have or how many difficult things I've been through or are going through, I try to manage to be cordial, respectful, and thoughtful as much as I possibly can be. I may feel lousy but I always try to have a good word for all of our community members.
I apologize if I've offended you or anyone else here. I have kept my mouth shut as long as I can. I hope your problems get straightened out and you can become a happier person. My biggest piece of advice to you.....enjoy your life now, while you're young. Be thankful for what you have, buckle down and get that school work done. Stop skipping classes and improve your situation. You have to do it yourself. No one can do it for you.

[mugsy]

I'm going to get myself in trouble here, but, here goes...

This crap is the reason I left Pet Talk for over a year. As of now, I will just stick to posting the transports and move on.

I am tired of excuses for bad behavior. I deal with it everyday at school with the kids...it's always someone else's fault and I'm tired. If you act badly, apologize and move on. Don't give excuses...just apologize...

As my best friend told me once (and I REALLY deserved it): "As Dr Phil would say, 'build a bridge and get over it!'" I know it's harsh, but, it's the reality of the thing.

[Lori Jordan]

I'm sorry you have been having problems,we all do life is most the time far from normal.But that does not give you the right to be iggnorant to people,That is no excuse,And you have been this way to me for a long time so what is your excuse for that? i'm not trying to start a fight but i am going to speak my mind.
In all the post around here you say nice things,When i post something instead of saying you have nice dogs.You add a ?,and most times are rude but i never say anything,Reason it dont look good when a 35 year old is fighting with a 15 year old,As too people posting in the wrong places,I have done it many times,it is a simple mistake there is no reason for getting mad,People do make mistakes it is human.

I hope that everything falls into place for you,Life is hard,But we are better people from the problems we have had and worked through them,But if you snap at people all the time(and yes i have blown my top).But i can admit to my issues and move on.But in the long run no one will be there for you in the end if you treat them with no respect,You say you notice you have been snappy lately,Think about the people that are not even involved getting snapped at they do not deserve it and it is not fair if you take your problems out on people that no one can fix for you,Your the only one that can fix your problems.
Now with that being said.If your having a bad day do something that calms you,Something that can clear you mind,You have animals they are the best healers,They are the only ones that you can count on in these situations they never turn there back on you,Start spending time with them,and you will see how much happier you are,Trust me it works.....Good luck.hope everything will start getting better.

[sasvermont]

I think many folks never learn good coping skills and/or survival skills. I think parents teach them to you, yes? Having said that, I would go to a school counselor or professional counselor and ask for help. They will teach you how to deal with issues, how to keep on track with your school work and will most likely be the support you need. You need to do the work though. They can only give you direction - like we are trying to do.

Life is short, play hard!

And if the shoe fits, use spell check (advice for everyone here)....the IeSpell thing is wonderful! Thank you....... to the person recommending it. It makes me look brilliant now!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Add the annoying pm'ers to your ignore list then do precisely that with any of their threads - ignore them! Do not reply however tempting it is

So, people post things in the wrong place? If it was a real problem Karen and Paul would deal with it

Don't struggle with school work - get some help and advice

and finally, you've done a good thing here recognising that you have problems and what is causing them - some people go through life never admitting to a single mistake.

Learn to like you again, we all do

[trayi52]

I agree with the people here at Pet Talk. If you are jumping on our cases, what are you doing to the people that surround you physically? Just wondering.

Don't spend so much time here young lady, if you are so behind on your homework, go right now, and start on that homework! I am 53 years old and have raised three kids, they done their homework before they started anything else!

Maybe you do need to see a counselor, they can help a lot. Hope you get your life straightened out.

Willie

[Pam]

I'm really sorry that you couldn't have said something nice to Tim about his kid's pictures. Those are his children for heaven's sake. Some day you might have children too. How would you feel if someone didn't even acknowledge the pictures of your beautiful children that you're so proud of? He was so happy to share his children with all of us and what did he get from you? A cold response that indicated he was posting in the wrong area. Put yourself in his place.

D&D, what a beautiful reply. I hope that Buttercup will take a lot of the advice that you gave. The bottom line is "Do unto others." When you are about to say something critical just think about how you would feel being on the receiving end of that comment.

BC I noticed that in your apology, which was a first big step by the way, you mentioned having trouble with some friends and at home. I suspect that the personality that you have projected here is pretty much the personality that you display everywhere. You might want to take a good hard internal look at yourself and see what it is that you are doing to bring on these problems.

Laying out the problems that you have as sort of an excuse for your behavior takes away from your apology. When we apologize, and mean it, we aren't hiding behind anything. We are simply saying "I am sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me. Period."

I don't want to bring your parents into this, because often parents are blamed for the behavior of their children, but kids who are old enough to post here are certainly old enough to have carved out their own thinking/behavior. I do feel, though, that kindness is something that needs to be learned at home and at a young age.

My advice would be to give your studies 100% of your time. You will be very glad in the years to come. Also, stop making excuses about why you can't work here and why you can't work there. There may come a time when you are an adult, and your job has been dissolved due to downsizing and you find yourself at a job you hate just to put food on the table in the interim. It happens to people all the time. The ability to get along with people and adapt to change comes with maturity. You are not too old to still have a few things yet to learn.

(((Hugs))) to you D&D. I had no idea of the pain you live with. You are one of my favorite PTers and your cheerful attitude and sweetness shines through despite what may be going on behind the scenes.