How do you deal with jealousy?

[Kirsten]

Here's a typical situation: I'm sitting or lying on my bed, and as soon as I make eye contact with Luna, she would get up and walk over to me. She's sitting next to my bed, waiting for me to talk to her and encourage her to jump up to me and lay down next to me. She loves lying close to me, I think she really needs her time with meowmie.

Sometimes, while she's still sitting there indecisively, Lily will show up and jumps onto the bed and comes to me. Of course I'm talking to her, too; after all, I don't want her to feel neglected. But this is always the moment Luna will get up, turn around and walk away; it's easy to see how disappointed and frustrated she is.

Next thing is that Lily leaves me and runs after Luna, and Luna, who's still frustrated, will be pawing at her. Seeing this always makes me feel so sorry for Luna!

It's so obvious that in these moments, Lily doesn't come to me because she wants to be with me, she just wants to interfere my communication with Luna. But what should I do? I can hardly ignore Lily is such a moment, right? What do you think?

Kirsten

[krazyaboutkatz]

Is there any way that you can go into another room and shut the door beind you so that both you and Luna can have some quality one on one time together? I'm sure that Lily may start meowing and possibly scratching at the door but in time she'll learn. I also have to deal with this too. Good luck.

[catnapper]

Ah, thats the same thing here with Abby and any of the other 4 guys. Flutter is the one most apt to approach for loves when I'm trying to get Abby. Abby loves to be loved but seems hesitant at times. It makes me sad too.

Let me know if you figure something out.

[Laura's Babies]

Samantha leaves little chance for any of the rest of them to get into my lap but if another one does, she is ok with that as long as she can be close by... BUT.... they see her closeby and they leave.

Why can't they understand they we have enough love for all and a lap that is willing to hold as many as it can?!

[orangemm]

We have the same problem with Archy. Binky will get up on the bed for some attention and petting and we'll be right in the middle of it and little Mr. Radar will come running in the room for his share. Binky will not stay on the bed if Archy hops up.

Must be a common problem!

[catmandu]

That happens mostly with the Princess who only in the last year has become close to the other Found Cats.
I would take each Cat seperatly and make sure that they get undivided attention.

[Kirsten]

Well, it would be difficult to close the door because that would mean I have to get up, and that would ruin the moment for Luna anyway.

The only chance is when Lily is sleeping in another room, sometimes it works.

But I really wonder why Lily is so jealous? She's getting a lot of attention, too, and when she's cuddling with me, Luna never interferes!

Kirsten

[treybabe]

I had something like that happen to me just the other day. LB was sitting next to me on the big recliner when Janni jumped up on one of the arms. She started toward LB and he jumped down. Then she simply jumped down and sat somewhere else. She didn't want to sit with me, but she didn't want him there either. I called him back (he came and jumped back up again)and looked at her and said...you stay right where you are. She did!

[sirrahbed]

I see jealousy and it bothers me also. Well, I *think* it is jealousy here anyway. The problem is Robbie. If he sees Emily on my lap or on the bed with me, he immediately runs to me and chases Emily away. I think he may just not want *her* getting attention!! He does not seem to want mine at these times.

In your case Kirsten, I don't know what you could do about Lily and Luna. I wonder if it is just the personalities? If Luna leaves, maybe it is because she only likes *private* attention and may not really feel hurt when Lily approaches? I know you give both girls lots of attention - so maybe just give extra to Luna when Lily is sleeping??

I don't think it would be a bad idea to ignore Lily if she is simply chasing Luna away.