What's the deal? (crossposted by request)

[Sevaede]

Just to start off with: This is not directed at anybody in particular. This is just something(s) that I have noticed over my time here which has, consequently, made it a less enjoyable (hurt feelings or annoyed, etc) stay.

Why is it that when someone, who is not as well known or has the highest post, takes the time and effort to do write/type out a (heartfelt or slightly less than) topic, or reply, or anything, that some folks just blow it off? Sure, most will READ it but they won't reply to it. Even when someone makes a post or a reply about/to another member, it will go unnoticed or looked at but unreplied to. I can understand in the case where everything helpful has already been offered BUT I have noticed that this is not the case most of the time. I look and see a needy, or helpful, or otherwise, post go away with a hundred or more views yet no replies. Also, of course, this doesn't really apply to folks who have limited time (ten minutes during a lunch break, an hour at the library)

I feel that, sometimes, others are made out to be better or more worthy of replies or noticed at all because they've been here a certain amount of time or have a certain amount of posts. Or that somehow, miraculously, their opinion is supposed to be worth more than anothers.

I feel that there are several people (myself included) who contribute helpful information, advice, and whatnot, yet we can hardly get a response.

I feel like I'm in a car wreck and most people want to slow down to watch but very few get out to help.

I appreciate EVERY single response that I get. While some are a little harsh, excluding the seriously despicable ones, I still appreciate them. I appreciate and admire the folks behind them as well. Thank you to all the people on PT who have ever taken the time out to say hi, offer advice, or just be a friend. You guys are great.

[Sevaede]

Yeah, sometimes I do feel like I'm in high school again. And sometimes I do feel like when I reply to another post to give advice that it gets ignored.

[catnapper]

I have been in a whirlwind all summer. I do read as many threads as possible and reply as much as I can. I often will be on and WANT to reply but don't because (and don't laugh) I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings. I don't want them to say "wow, Kim is online and posting, so I know I can count on her to reply to my thread" and then when I don't reply, I don't want to hurt their feelings so I tell myself I'll go back and reply. I'll either forget to go back or think I DID reply and then end up never replying. This is the very reason I am now invisible. I'm lurking a lot more than I post anymore.

I also think it is humnan nature to respond to people who you feel are more your "friends" here. People who either are your age, or you feel a connection to through similar life experiences or they're in the same place in life that you're at.... anyway, I feel its more human nature to reply to one person over another first. I admit that I scan down to find my "friends" posts and answer them first. Then if I have more time and in the posting mood I'll go and reply to everyone else. Its simply human nature to seek out friends first then everyone else.

But all that said, I do feel lately my posts have gone ignored. Maybe everyone is tired of seeing the same three brown tabbies? and I suppose weekly updates of the baby isn't as exciting for everyone else as it is for me. Oh well, I still do enjoy posting, so I hope even though not everyone is replying ot my brown tabby and baby threads that I at least made someone smile for half a second while they looked at my photos.

[Karen]

Not everyone has the time to respond to each and every post. As I have mentioned many times in the past, the Views should mean more to folks than the posts. Just because someone has taken the time to read your post doesn't mean they can think of something to say in response. I have been a part of boards where people will respond just for the sake of responding, with nothing to say, and it gets pretty boring, pretty fast. I also appreciate that people often have time constraints on their computer usage, and many people can only see Pet Talk while they are at work, so we don't need to get folks in trouble for posting.

Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Choose to see the views as people who were interested in your post, and in what you had to say, because that's likely the truth.

[KitCat]

I have to agree with Karen. I only post if I think I have something relevant to say or is not a repeat of something someone else said. I really don't play favorites.

[catmandu]

I try to respond to the threads on Cat General, but I really should explore the Other Threads as well.
I will try to look at threads in the other boards as well.

[momcat]

I think it's important to remember (Karen, please correct me if I'm wrong) there are folks who visit PT that have never registered and therefore can't post a reply, comment, or question. That could be either because they don't know they can sign up or for their own personal reasons choose not to.Since signing on, I've learned a lot about cats and that's a good thing for my Groucho. Even so, there's still so much I don't know that in some instances a response is simply inappropriate. We also have the issue of not only time but priorities. There's only one computer in our house. My son works full time and is putting himself through college at night. It's understood that when it comes time for his classwork he gets the computer, that's MY first priority. To me, his education comes over and above anything and everything else. My job is a pressure cooker on a slow day (and we don't get many of those) so I come to PT to relax and wind down. We come here because of a common interest, our love for our cats and our love for all animals. Let's try to understand that the demands of day-to-day life don't always allow us the free time we want to do things we'd rather do like respond to each and every PT post.

[K & L]

I'm a guilty one. I don't get to frequent as much as I use to since I'm not able to get on at work anymore. When I'm finally able to sit down at home and log on it's usually about bedtime and I read several, but only reply to those I feel I have something of value to contribute. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy the ones I read, and some bring a chuckle, and some bring sadness. When I do have time to post a thread, I can't blame those that do not want to reply since I don't get to reply much to theirs. I do know what you're saying since there have been times I had felt this way. I just finally realized I post when I can and add my 2 cents where I feel necessary. I can understand why those that are here on a regular basis would get more replies to their posts.

[Craftlady]

Very well said Karen

I read allot (look at my post count its taken me 3 years to get that much LOL) but dont always have something to say to every post that is made out there.
Some posts (for example, in general off topic area, not pet related) are sometimes way to personal for me to reply, if I dont know the person well I dont reply. Doesnt mean I dont care about what is happening just dont feel comfortable posting a reply or I'm not familiar with the subject matter to add something that might help.

My main area is cat section, if there is something I can contribute (through experience) either in general or health question, I will post a reply. Been through allot with my gang of 4 and have learned allot from others here. I've been able to share my experiences (I'm the pumpkin and yogart expert at my house, thanks to Skinny ).

I've just started posting some in the "general" off pet topic area.
Since there is a wide range of ages here on PetTalk. This might show more this general off topic area, thats not pet related. I'm not going to reply to a topic that is geared to 20-30 year old set cause I'm 52 years old You all dont want to know I listen to Barry Manilow, when there is a topic about music. LOL

Guess my ultimate point in all this rambling is that Pet Talk has been a great source of information when I've been in a pitch with my 4 furry kids and when I lost RB Butterscotch, a great place for support.

[Corinna]

I know that with so many new forlks on the same questions are being asked over and over so we get tired of answering . Please check the history to see if it has been asked . Also do some of the research on your own you are using the internet right? We also are not vets here (well some are but don't ask for free advice) so always check with YOUR vet.

[Sevaede]

Not everyone has the time to respond to each and every post. As I have mentioned many times in the past, the Views should mean more to folks than the posts. Just because someone has taken the time to read your post doesn't mean they can think of something to say in response. I have been a part of boards where people will respond just for the sake of responding, with nothing to say, and it gets pretty boring, pretty fast. I also appreciate that people often have time constraints on their computer usage, and many people can only see Pet Talk while they are at work, so we don't need to get folks in trouble for posting.

Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Choose to see the views as people who were interested in your post, and in what you had to say, because that's likely the truth.

I know that not everyone has the time. Also, I am well aware that some people have to use the work computers. I am understanding of this and had included that in my post. However, there ARE folks who frequent these boards a lot.

KitCat, I am NOT accusing anyone of playing favourites. I, AS WELL, do not play favourites and do not post unless I feel I have something else to contribute.

[Sevaede]

I know that with so many new forlks on the same questions are being asked over and over so we get tired of answering . Please check the history to see if it has been asked . Also do some of the research on your own you are using the internet right? We also are not vets here (well some are but don't ask for free advice) so always check with YOUR vet.

I find your response somewhat rude.

My vet is always the first person I ask for any of my animal related needs. Then I do research through my books and the internet. THEN I consult folks who have had the experience who might be able to give advice for/to/towards alternative methods or if I am confused. I am not lazy.

This is a message board and that is one of the things that people DO. Post with help or otherwise. That is half of the purpose.

Each situation is different. Any detail could change the outcome of a potential response. Also, are you aware of just how many times I've tried to search for something only to come upon a page that tells me that it can't find any results because there are none there?

Also do some of the research on your own you are using the internet right?

Yeah, don't you think I've done that?

All in all, thanks.

[Grace]

This is probably going to sound rude - but expressing my opinion. This post sounds so 7th grade. So-and-so has more responses than I do.

[Sevaede]

All in all, I realize and understand that some folks have constraints, time or otherwise. I am referring to folks who DO have the time, and DO frequently post anyways.

I understand people wanting to reply to friends mostly because that's who/what they identify with. That's a refreshing perspective and somewhat of a reassurance!

I am not out to hurt any feelings. Sometimes we need to be reassured of things and when nobody comes to you when you need it then it's just kind of adds a little to the hurt, you know? I just want to make friends with folks but am pretty inept at doing things like that, obviously, heh. I am cool, I promise!

[Sevaede]

This is probably going to sound rude - but expressing my opinion. This post sounds so 7th grade. So-and-so has more responses than I do.

Your response isn't much better.

I am not talking about folks that have more posts than I do. That is not what this post is about! Okay? I am TALKING about when I post something and myself being confused because I see people talking but it feels like nobody wants to speak with me.

Thank you to those who ARE and WERE helpful and put a new spin and perspective on things for me. I really appreciated those and they were uplifting!