Choosing an executor...

[Catty1]

Okay, I have been putting off doing my will. It doesn't depress me, but I am having a heck of a time deciding on executors. I think all of the following would be willing, but what's your take?

I will want one main one and a backup, or two co-executors:

1. Kim, LONGtime friend who is extremely bright and probably knows me better than my cousins do.

2. Rob, a cousin from my dad's side of the family - the side I look like and feel closer to. He did a fine job when our beloved aunt died last year. We get along.

3. Ryan - a cousin from my mom's side of the family. I like him, and connect best with him of all the cousins on my mom's side. He is cool and very together, smart and relaxed.

Any thoughts?

Thanks
Catty1

[slick]

My gosh, this title caught my attention right away because I'm updating my Will as well. Actually, I have no friends here that fit the bill so I'm choosing my brother. Trouble is, he lives where you do Catty and they say not to have an Executor who is out of province. I just got off the phone with him and was asking if he will remain in Calgary after he retires (2 yrs away). He said he's not sure where he will be....could be down in Mexico, could be southern States. Now, I'm really in a bind and I have no other relatives who know me well enough to be an Executor. I just may have to pick a Pet Talker.....

I've always heard that an Executor should be someone who will more than likely outlive you (younger, that is), should be living in the same town and should be the person whom you trust the most and who knows you the best (this includes what your wishes might be). Sounds like you've put alot of thought into it and if you really trust those 3 people, then go for it.

....and not it's not morbid at all. It's something that every living human being should have (well, those people with assets I mean) and make sure you have something in your Will that provides for any pets you have. On a lighter side, I've put some money aside to provide for the booze at my Celebration of Life parteeeee.

[Karen]

Having been an executor, for my Great Aunt's estate, I offer you the following tips.

Choose someone who is very organized.

Choose someone who doesn't mind paperwork. There's a bucketload of paperwork. It drags on seemingly forever.

Choose someone who doesn't mind dealing with lawyers. Even in an uncontested estate, there is a lot of dealing with lawyers.

Choose someone very detail-oriented. Not only is there a lot of paperwork, there are a ton of little details, and chasing down things.

While it feels like an honor, it is also a whole lot of work, with the only reward being that it is, at some point, finally over with.

Then be as specific as you can with your will. Thankfully, Bertha was a number-person, and detail-oriented enough to drive you nuts, so I didn't have any trouble there, but I know others who have.

And before you set anything on paper, talk to the person you're considering.

[slick]

Great advice Karen. Another thing I just thought of.

My family have no idea who my friends are. I've included a list of people whom I want contacted in the event of my death. The list includes phone numbers and email addresses. I would hate to think that one of my best friends out of town is left out of the loop.

Also, do you wish to be an Organ Donor?? Put that down too and inform all your family and friends of your wishes.

It's funny but earlier on last week I was talking to my boss about this very subject. Her father passed away of cancer about 3 years ago and he kept a journal. In the journal it detailed just who was to do what and where everything was to take place. Who was to contact the location, who was to organize the music, what music he wanted played, who was look after food, who was to look after the booze....honestly...right down to every detail. She said it made it so much easier on the family. I just might take a page out his journal.....

Sorry, this is really getting away from the subject but since this is your first Will (I presume) there is alot to think about.

[K9karen]

I chose my best friend of 50 years as my Executor. Her career was a legal secretary. If something happens, I'll change it. My brother, who was uninvolved in anything my parents did, is a backup executor. Mayor Karen's statements were right on target.

[Catty1]

Thanks everyone!

Though I HAVE heard that out-of-province is not a problem...hmmm....will have to ask about that.

I guess I could choose all three, and have a backup to the backup!

Great idea about the addresses, etc, Slick.

hugs to all
catty1

[moosmom]

Wow, did this thread come at a great time.

I was looking over my will the other day. I had it drawn up right after my Dad passed away. My best friend Susie (Karen described her to a "T" in her post) is my executor with a back up of my childhood friend Susan. I trust both these women with my life (no pun intended). I completely forgot that I also had a "Living Will" that makes sure I am not kept alive by any artificial means.

That's what I was going to suggest, make sure you also have a living will. One of the most difficult things for a family to decide is to shut off life support. I didn't want my family to have to go through that, so I made the decision for them. I am also an organ donor and have been giving some thought to donating my body to the UConn Medical School.