Failure to thrive best news I have heard...UPDATED

[DrKym]

in over a year! I know this doesn't sound right but Jas and I have been fighting for custody of his 6 yr old son for a yr now and all we got was brick walls, based of course that all mothers are perfect and children always belong there. yes that was sarcasm but this boy is emaciated and losing hair, his last physical that took us 3 months to get the court to order her to take him in she lied to a pediatrician (didnt even use the one the court appointed) told him that Alex was 5 weeks preemie yada yada ( he was born 6 pounds 5 oz 10 days before EDD) so he said that 42 .5 inches
and 35 pounds was within line anyway we got him for a visit and its been nearly a full yr since that idiot saw him we took him to a Pediatrician here in Illinois on DCFS advice and she diagnosed neglect and emotianal issues and FAILURE TO THRIVE he is now 45 inches and 36.8 pounds which is unheard of and WAY below avge bmi which as we were just told means we will get a custody granted in Illinois and an order of protection against his mom and he will once again be with us loved safe and in his brothers and sisters company
thanks for letting me rant and celebrate! WE HAVE OUR BABY BACK!!!!!

[Jods]

Poor child, but good news for you! Congrats on getting him back

[cyber-sibes]

Custody battles are soooooooo ugly, congratualtions on your legal victory.
Child abuse makes me SO angry
Having gone thru a custody battle in Illinois, I also found out that if the child is transported across state lines, it is very difficult to get them back even if you won custody...perhaps discuss this with your lawyers to see if you can get any precautionary measures, like no unsupervised visitations.
Will keep your little son in my prayers, he deserves to be loved and cared for!

[DrKym]

Cyber happy birthday and thank you for the gift! yes we knew that it would be hard for her to get him back but he lost so much weight in her care and we have begged the az courts to see this to please take action, we raised him until he was almost 5 then when their divorce was becoming final and she found out that there isnt alimony in AZ she petitioned the court on moral frounds (jas and I werent married ) to get him, AND WON! we fought so hard for him and now that the end is finally here I cannot tell you how grateful I am to hold him and know he wont be taken again, to the best of my knowledge neither state will award custody or visitation unless supervised to a convicted abuser!

[Laura's Babies]

Poor baby! God only knows what that baby has been through.

[moosmom]

Dr. Goodnow,

That is wonderful news!! That poor little boy deserves a stable homelife. Have you talked to your lawyer about the mother paying child support?? Afterall, if the shoe was on the other foot, your hubby would be paying her. I'd look into it, as well as garnishing her wages. She's just as responsible for her son as your hubby is.

I'm glad you'll be getting custody.

[DrKym]

we have been paying 1100.00 a month for him per court order his mom quit her job to try and recieve state benefits even though he is fully insured and we make her car payment each month. Her exact words in court after she was awarded 1100 was i cannot live on that so you will be back to pay me more he is my meal ticket , I wanted a career not a kid. since the case was closed and no one but the stenographer and us heard it it was unusab'e!

[moosmom]

Boy, she sounds like a real piece of work!! Well, I guess now that she won't have him, she's not entitled to any child support, right???

[DrKym]

right! not that we minded but i mean cmon its for HIM not you! she sent him to us with 3 prs of pants 2 pr undies 2 pr socks and a shirt FOR A MONTH! said she didnt want us to have anything else as she cannot afford to replace it if he "forgot" it

[drothergoodnow]

She is a sinister piece of work. I have no idea what I saw in her, much less what motivated me to breed with such a creature in the first place. She did worse to my other kids, and I had to fly them out to New York to be with their mother. That is a WHOLE other issue.
I am ecstatic to be getting them all back soon. My little boy, then my others! Yay!

[moosmom]

I'm so happy for the both of you that all the kids will be back where they belong. I can only IMAGINE what kinds of stories she's been telling them. Have you thought about possibly getting counseling for the kids?? Just a thought.

You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Logan]

What a mess! The worst part of divorce seems to be what happens to the children in the middle of it. I am so thankful that my ex husband and I never, ever let our feelings about each other get in the way of raising our daughter. To this day, over 13 years after our divorce, we are able to sensibly discuss any decision that regards our daughter. Her opinion, at 15, is that she is "lucky" to have two homes where she is loved, by her parents and her stepparents. I hope my husband's two children feel the same way.

Best of luck to both of you and to the children, who will thrive under your care. Counselling may be in order at some point for them, but the main thing is to have them in your care.

Logan

[DrKym]

Thank You! Both my husband and myself are counselors and we have asked colleagues to take the case. My ex and I have no issues either however some ppl fail to realize that children are a precious thing not property

[moosmom]

Logan,

I was the same way with my daughter. I never said anything bad about my ex-husband or his 6itch wife (do I sound hostile???) because I knew, as Amy got older, she'd see for herself how awful they were to me when Amy was growing up.

Amy lived with my ex and his wife from the time she was 5. Not that I HAVE to explain, but I felt that Amy was much better off with them, as they had a house and were financially able to care for her. I paid child support, believe me, till she was 18. To say they made my life a living hell is putting it mildly. There were times when I was ready to throw in the towel. But I knew if I gave up my parental rights, her stepmonster would tell her I didn't care about her and that's why I gave her up.

I never regret my decision. I handled it with dignity, never once saying a bad thing about either of them. Eventually, when Amy got older, she saw what they did to me and asked me why her stepmother hated me so much. I didn't go into any detail (her father was having an affair with a woman he worked with and her stepmother was losing her grip). I simply told her that her father and I caught Karen (stepmonster) in a lie.

[DrKym]

Moosmom
please dont take my post wrong I truly believe that most mothers think about their kids as you did and i am humbled by the fact that your love outweighed your desire to have her and you should be venerated. This mom NEVER wanted this child, and her sole purpose after us having him from his birth til 4.5 yrs was money