Timid Golden Retriever

[lhg0962]

I'm stumped. I have two female golden retrievers, both about one and a half years old. Both are very sweet and affectionate. But, one, Honey, gets very upset over the strangest things and growls and barks, and just won't stop. This is very uncharacteristic of a golden. I like it that she is protective, but once I tell her that everything is ok, I want her to stop, but she won't. She can't stand most men and gets very upset by them. I've had her since she was six weeks old, and I don't know what has caused this. She is almost more like a german shepard or some other type of protective dog. What can I do? We love her so much and she is delightful,as long as she doesn't get upset by something. The smallest thing, like a balloon or a grocry bag, or a new chair upset her. I'm wondering if her eye sight is bad or something. HELP!!!

[carrie]

Hi,

Please get your dog checked by your vet, your theory on her eyesight is a possibility.
Sadly, however, I fear there is a rather more sinister reason for your bitch behaving in this way. She sounds as though she is a nervous dog. This is a trait that can not be trained out of her and is likely to be more pronounced as she ages. You will have to be aware at all times of her disposition and careful of the situations you introduce her to. Socialisation may improve her slightly but I'm afraid the trait is in her genes and will always be there. Fear biting is always a risk with such a dog, especially with children. Try to ignore her behaviour in the house and keep her under close control when out or you have visitors.
Your dogs quality of life has to be under question as she is a constant state of anxiety, but only you know how bad her problem is.
I hope I'm wrong and it must be stressed that without meeting the dog I can not be certain.

[lhg0962]

Carrie,
Thanks for your quick response. This is the sweetest and most beautiful dog you could ever meet (under the right conditions). I would never take her to a public park or to my daughter's school again, as she is sooooo nervous. Isn't it sad? I'm wondering if we need Prozac or even Valium. She is a lovely, almost white, Golden Retriever. She has the same father as my other Golden. Mother's are very different in size and temperament. Lilly and Honey could not have more different personalities. Lilly kisses everyone she meets. Honey could not love my daughter and me more. I think that is part of the problem. She is just overly protective. I might also mention that we had to take her out of obedience school because she just refused to work for my daughter. She just laid down and wouldn't move. I think one on one obedience is probably the only way for us to proceed with her. If you have ever seen my other posts, she is so fast and agile. She catches birds, rats, etc. She would be wonderful at agility training. Wonder if that would help her confidence?
I'll look forward to more responses. Since this problem seems to be getting worse, I'll also sit down with my veterinarian and see if we can help her more. She is just lovely and I don't want anyone to think otherwise. She is not your typical Golden Retriever as she is very light in color and quite small in comparison to her half sister, Lilly. Honey is about 55 pounds, versus 85 for Lilly.

[carrie]

Hi again,
I know exactly haow you feel and after hearing a little more about her she sounds very similar to a retriever bitch I met while I was working at Guide Dogs for the Blnd. She was also on the small side, although a deep red in colour. We had her litter sister at the same time and they both displayed a scary obsession with water! I'm not talking your normal retriever love of the stuff, they would sit by outside taps and stare intently at them to the point that food was ignored, the taps were not running or dripping! Water buckets in outside runs were defended by this bitch as she stood with her front feet in the bucket. If left alone she would then dig in the water.
In the house she was the most loving and obediant little thing a real treasure. She, like your bitch, had a very large dollop of retriever stubborness in her and would only work for some people.
On top of this she was a nervous dog and displayed much of the behavior your bitch does. She was rejected from the training programme and rehomed. This was a massive failure as she just couldn't cope with the change from kennels. She did bite out of fear and although the family was very understanding it totally screwed the dog up and she then couldn't cope with coming back into kennels. We did everything you could possibly think of and in the end a member of staff took her on as a pet. This person was an angel and went to hell and back with the dog. In the end the dog's quality of life was so bad she had to soul search. Last I heard the dog had bitten two other people but she was still alive. Her litter sister never displayed any nervousness although she was unsuitable as a guide due to her extreme obsession with water and has made an excellent family pet.
You could try an intensive training strategy. The dog does not move off it's bed unless under your direction. Teach her to find and retrieve a toy hidden in the room and she gets a treat as a reward. Start with the toy where she can it and then when she can do that hide it. Only teach her and not your other dog. This is time and energy intensive but giving her fun and direction may take her mind off everything being so spooky. Intersperse games with some serious obediance commands for both dogs and reward both. Over a few weeks lengthen the time she spends on her bed gradually. The idea being that she is busy and has things to think about and the command to go bed and stay are just part of the game. This will use her mental energy in a positive way and her mind will not be ticking over on her own imagined threats so much.
Like I say it takes up your whole life for a few weeks, get your daughter to do some of the games and obedience, with food rewards.
Hard work but if you think it sounds right for her then it's woth a try.
Sorry to go on but I just wanted you to know that I understand she isn't the devil dog from hell and that you love her - I've been there and it is so hard!

[carrie]

P.S.( as if you needed it!!)
Drug therapy is a definite option but beware of the drug hiding what the dog is still feeling.

[jhack]

I agree totally with what Carrie has said. Please do not give up on your dog. Work with her on a daily basis, spend quality time with her, and see your vet for more help. I truly believe this is a genetic problem because of all the goldens I have heard of with nervous tendencies.
Unfortunately my family had a similar experience with a very nervous golden retriever. She was frightened of strangers, unusually protective like your dog, and incredibly afraid of loud noises.
We eventually got her socialized to people and handled the loud noise problem with medication. Just when we thought we had everything under control, she died in a tragic accident while we were on vacation. The dogsitter left her outside during the 4th of July and she had a nervous breakdown because of the fireworks, ran away, and choked herself to death with her leash. It was incredibly horrible because we had just conquered the majority of her behaviors.
I promise you, with the right help and persistence you can help your dog. Please learn from what happened to my dog and DON'T GIVE UP. WORK WITH HER EVERY DAY! Honestly she may need medication but that is no substitute for the love and training you can give.
Good luck and best wishes.

[lhg0962]

Jhack,
You described Honey perfectly. Believe me, she gets lots of love and attention. We just have to work on these nervous tendencies of hers. What a joy she is.
I hate to hear of the problems you had with yours. That is so sad.
Honey and Lilly are boarded at a very nice facility whenever I have to leave town over night. I used to have a wonderful lady that came and took them in and out for me, but since she is no longer available, I feel better knowing that they are together at the kennel. It costs an arm and a leg, but it is worth the peace of mind I get. And they are so happy to see us when we get home, plus they smell so good after a good bath at the groomers! Isn't it strange that she doesn't show these tendencies at the kennel? She is shy, but not aggressive.
We'll take all of your advice and work with her, and keep on loving her a lot. I'm just working to keep her out of situations that upset her and that is a full time job!

[Doxiedoxie]

I'm a bit curious about how you respond when she exhibits these fear/aggressive behaviours? I've seen owners "coddle" and comfort a dog displaying these behaviours, which of course to the dog is a reward for acting in that way, you can see what I'm saying...Dog growls at garbage can, owner says, " Its ok baby, good dog, thatta girl its ok" while stroking dogs fur. Dog thinks she did something right. The obedience training is a wonderful idea, I'm not sure why she "refused" to work for your daughter but I feel she should not be let off the hook ( depending on the age of your child) for misbehaving. Probably a few private sessions with a behaviourist /trainer could lend more insight...

[carrie]

The exact same thoughts sprang to my mind as soon as you said, "...funny how she doesn't show these tendencies at the groomer". There is a very real possibilty that your dog is taking you for a ride! Talk to the dog school as we have discussed via email. It may be that they will give you a totally different assesment of your dogs character than the one that you see. If this is the case she's a clever girl!

[lhg0962]

I guess we have two different issues. The first, being at the obedience school. There were so many dogs there, and while my daughter was training Honey, I was working with Lilly. We had discussed this prior to signing up together and the trainer really thought Honey and Helen would be ok. Perhaps if I had been handling her, things might have been different.
As for the nervous behavior, I usually try to reassure her that everything is ok, but I don't think I am coddling her. Should I scold her? Maybe she needs to know that I am unhappy with her when she acts like that, rather than my trying to convince her that everything is ok.
All of these responses are good and I appreciate all of them. I am going to have to discipline myself to spend the necessary time and energy to work on this problem.
Keep the suggestions coming!

[carrie]

Whatever the reason for your bitchs behaviour, and as you can see it is very hard to determine without meeting her, never show any reaction at all to it. Ignore her and if possible leave the room and leave her to it! Don't give any eye contact and don't say anything. Do not give her any attention or eye contact, or re-enter the room, until she has been calm for about ten seconds. If she is having you on expect it to get a little worse before it gets better.