Rufus

[slleipnir]

Sorry to keep going on about this. When I got home from my trip, after disiding it was "time", I got home and Jo swarmed me and kinda went crazy with excitment (I don't know who was happier to see who) anyway, Ruf kinda trotted up to me wagging his tail and looking for some pattings. Someone told me here I'd feel it when its time, but I seriously can't look at him and do it. He seems happy, and it being Nick (my bro)'s disicion also, we thought it probably isn't his time yet..I think if he was in pain we wouldn't move around so much, and he wouldn't wag his tale and look all happy to see us. I don't know if my judgements are right on, but i don't feel it in my heart that he is.

[ramanth]

It's never an easy decision to make. But believe me, you will know when it is Rufus' time.

But for now you at least get some more moments together. Happy to hear he's moving around and cherish your time together.

[Gio]

I think it will Rufus himself that will give you a signal when the time comes. My Gigio did. Enjoy the time you have together.

[jennifert]

Audrey, that's wonderful to hear that Rufus was so excited and happy to see you. Enjoy your time with him. He will let you know. Sounds like he's not ready yet and still wants to spend more time with his family!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

I think you have made the right decision to wait. If Rufus was in pain, I think you would know it. It's a decision that can not be undone once it's done. It's also a decision that can be made later. (I posted more of this on your other thread) I have arthritis and am very stiff myself. Some days are better than others. I still enjoy life even though I am stiff and have trouble getting up and down. With summer coming, Rufus may feel better. I know cold weather bothers me a lot. Just enjoy your precious Rufus. My love to you all.

[Logan]

Amen to what everyone has said, Audrey. The biggest thing is to live for each day, enjoy him each day and maybe stop trying to figure out "when" and let him tell you. You'll know, or someone close to you, who witnesses Rufus's behavior will know. It took the "someone else" for me to finally realize about my Kaycee, but I wouldn't give back one single day of those 11 months that I worked so hard to save her. She was ok.....and when it was time, we knew that it couldn't go on like that any longer, but she was much worse off than it sounds like Rufus is.

Chin up, enjoy him while you can. He is a beautiful boy, your special boy, and that will never change.

[Deb Motter]

It is fine to "keep going on" about your thoughts. Saying goodbye to a pet friend is one of the hardest things imaginable. If he is getting up and is alert, enjoy the time you still have.

The things that will tip you off that the time has come will be things like refusing to eat or drink, uncontrollable bowels, severe pain that absorbs his attention. You will know yourself; don't let anyone rush you into it. Your vet can advise you, but only you know Rufus well enough to know for sure when it is time.

I wish I had know about Pet Talk when we lost our other dog. It would have really helped me to be able to talk about it then.

[Sudilar]

Audrey, hang in there. It doesn't sound like it's Rufus' time yet.

My brother has an 18 year old mixed shepherd. He can't see too well and moves slowly, but he still gets around!! He loves his food and he still gets excited about hugs and pats!! He doesn't show that he is in any pain, so for now, he is old, but not ready to die!

I just want to say that on vet recommendation, we ALMOST put down my dog of a lifetime, Wolf. I asked for a weekend to say goodbye to him and bring him in on Monday to set him free. However, he rallied on Sunday and lived 6 more months to die in his sleep! A miracle!

So, I think you will know in your heart when it is time (not now). Since Rufus is not in pain and is still happy, then it is not time for him to go!! Hang in there and enjoy every minute you have with him. That's what I do with Killian. Good luck and keep us posted!

Sue, Killian and Shiloh

[tatsxxx11]

Everyone here has echoed my feelings so well. I believe that if Rufus is eating well, enjoying the company of his family, seeks your love and attention and is not in pain, it's my belief he is still enjoying life! Try to focus on and enjoy every single day with him; each one is a blessing I can't get his puppy pics out of my head. What a sweetie. Hugs and kisses to Rufus!

[slleipnir]

Thank you.

I do not see it as looking for "when" but as I'm afraid he may be in pain. I promiced myself I would never let an animal suffer no matter how much it hurts me. I've heard about 50 different things from everyone I've talked to. I'm very confused. Also, I do not see him as just a pet friend. He is much more then a friend to me. Well, he is a friend I mean, but also much more. Hes family (I don't know if that sounds stupid to you ppl) to me. He was the buddy I always could count on, whenever I was younger, I had some rough times..and I cannot remember ONE time I needed someone to huggle into and cry, or just someone to..urg ok this sounds really stupid. I'm sorry. I can't explain things well. Basically he was always around since I can remember and I can't image him not there someday. I know its a fact of life and all. I think having Jo would help take some of the pain from it. I didn't..'raise' (or whatever you call it,) Rufus, he's more like a brother to me or something, but Jo I did, and shes my little girl..ok I'm gonna shut up now and just leave or something cause that probably sounds soo stupid and I'm really sorry..I can't explain things well so I sound like an idiot. I hope you don't think I'm a freak or something lol. Just had to tell someone.

[Gio]

Believe me you don't sound like an idiot, just extremely worried. You should have heard some of the things we were saying in Gigio's last few days, and we were 5 grown ups! But he was with us for 19 years and it was hard for us too thinking of not having him around.

I agree with the others, it doesn't sound like it's Rufus time yet. And I think that a pet, just like a human, can be happy even with a little bit of pain. I have a lot of people in my family who suffer from arthritis and sometimes the pain is quite bad but there good days and not so good days. Deb said it perfectly:
The things that will tip you off that the time has come will be things like refusing to eat or drink, uncontrollable bowels, severe pain that absorbs his attention.

Please try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know) and talk about it as much as you like, we are here for you.

[slleipnir]

Thank you. He seems happy to me, like when your giving him attention he wags his tail and rubs into you. My mom told me that dogs don't do anything to show their in pain, or atleast my aunts dog didn't. Their dog eventually crawled into a ditch to die when they finally got it threw their head the dog was in a lot of pain. I don't think their dog could even get up the stairs though. If he can jump up and down on a couch (stiffly tho) then he can't be that bad right? I try to give him buffern when he seems really stiff. My mom keeps going on like hes in so much pain and he can't move or get outside, but when I let him out he just is stiff.
One thing is though, he can't control his bowal movements. If he's not outside eatting then he will leave lots of presents on the floor. God, he's SUCH a giving dog isn't he? All the presents he leaves...he makes sure to leave atleast one in 1-3 rooms too. He's also deaf to a degree (unless you stamp or clap your hands he won't notice you if he doesn't see you) I think hes getting forgetful too, if we send him and Jo out of the room while we're cooking or eatting (they hoover right at your feet, only Ruf doesn't get out of the way) 2 seconds later he comes back in, or if you send him out one door he comes in the other one, then you point to the door (thats how we always told him to get out when he was deaf, and he'd just go) but now he keeps smelling for food and goes the opp. way, even if he just ate. He's SOOO skinny..you would think he barly eats anything, he's always been skinny though, but hes more so then before. Do dogs loose weight when their old?? Or loose more fur? Like his fur is kinda clumpy, so we find a clump of fur here and there..

Sorry for all the questions, I've wanted to know about this for a while but no one I asked knew anything. I know some of you went threw it before and could maybe help me out.

Also, thank you to everyone. You're all so supportive and helpful. I don't know what I'd do without PT.

[jennifert]

Audrey, you are just the sweetest thing in the world!

You said Rufus is like a brother to you right? Unlike Jo because you're more like a mom to Jo. When you were a little girl, Rufus supported you and helped you and was always there for you. Noone knows him better than you, your dad and your human brother. Don't listen to your relatives unless they are in the house with your family living everyday!!! Rufus lives to be with you and your dad and bro. He gets so much pleasure from seeing your beautiful smiling face walk through the door safe and sound everyday.
The only way that I know that dogs show pain is through whimpering and that is if they are stepped on or (God forbid) hit. I dont' know what they do if they are in constant pain, maybe pant, sleep, cringe, I'm sure all sorts of things. But I dont' think that Rufus is...Honestly. I know I'm not there but I just have a feeling...

I had a "brother" Bandit growing up and I still miss him with all my heart and always will.

Just relax. Enjoy. Spring is coming, Take some walks with just Rufus. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels. The answers will be in his eyes.

Now on the not-mushy side....about the p*ping in the house...if it annoys your dad, try to clean it up before he sees it so he doesnt' get angry and make any rash decisions!! I know how dads can be!! You dont' want Rufus to be embarassed so give him lots of opportunities to go outside. With the nice weather coming, it should be much easier! As for the deafness, no biggie!! Someone on this board just adopted a deaf puppy. That is nothing you and Rufus can't deal with. Just another sign of old age...
And yes, many dogs, and people lose weight when they get older. I dont' know why but maybe one of the others here would. If he is eating, then I wouldn't worry to much. If he stops eating..

And finally, coming into the kitchen, THAT is because he is older and wiser than Jo and has learned to never give up!!!!!!!

He's not forgetting, he's trying to use his age and influence to get some more food!!!!!! He's a smart dog that Rufus!!!!!

Anyway, keep us updated on his progress. Give him a big kiss and hug from me please.?

[slleipnir]

Thanks again so much. I was pretty much in tears reading that. Its not my dad that the 'presents' annoy, it's more that it's hard to clean up like 3 times a day, espessially when I'm late for school and my bro is being stuborn and won't help (yes, he's older then me) I have no worry at all that my dad will make any choice about Ruf. He KNOWS not to mess with me and my doggies Yes, I'm stubborn too..Before I left, he seems kinda sad and very stiff, so thats why I thought maybe..you know. Anyway, today when I was playing with him (he's just too cute!!) I put my hands on my knees and kinda jesture that I want to play, and he jumps up a little and lifts his little paws up..its thes cutest thing ever cause he's so fragile looking. He seemed so happy today, and kinda like younger-ish acting. There is no way in hell he is in that much pain, maybe just a little stiff and sore from arthritis, and if he is then I'm a blind fool. I can't believe how jealous Jo gets (omg I think she just farted..either that or some small animal crawled under my bed and DIED..no, sorry, that would be a fresher smell..) Anyway, jealous..yeah, when I was playing with Ruf she comes up with her ball and is like "Look! I can't drop it over here..you can have it if you want..wait! no its mine! I can just bounce it over here on the floor by myself..are you sure you don't want it? It tastes really yummy! look! I'm having fun!" Then when I go pat her too, Ruf looks like "Why are you leaving me? Please stay and play more!" This is when I leave the room..I feel so guilty walking away from him..I would pat him all day if I could lol.

Well, the smell seems to have cleared, so I figure it MAY be non toxic over there now. If I never return, you know what happened.. My god thats nasty, its worst then most humans!! What HAS she been eatting..hrm..do we want to know??

[sabies]

sounds like Jo found an effective way to express her jealousy...

When I was younger I had a dog, Candy, who was more like my sister cause my mom was "pack leader". When Candy got old and was obviously not going to be around much longer I was the one in the family to delay putting her to sleep. I'm sure she wasn't feeling great for a while - she couldn't run and play anymore, but she could still walk slow and she could still look at me with life in her eyes. The day her eyes lacked something - happiness? life? - was the day I agreed it was time. It was as though she couldn't notice things that made her happy around her because she was concentrating on breathing.

I just believe the dog's appearance and actions will give you the signs you need to decide.

By the way, Candy was never put to sleep, she died in my arms on the way to the vet. I don't think she was ever in "too much" pain, and I'm glad I held off my decision.