Amy, those are such beautiful pictures! I was taking a glance at everything and meant to respond later since I'm late getting going on work, but I felt I needed to respond with a thought now while it's at the top of my mind (I didn't see the videos yet but I promise I will check back after work or during a break to see them!). My comment is about your picture with Nebo. I know you won't believe this, but you are very beautiful, and NOT in the least ugly. I used to always think of myself as ugly and especially hate my pictures. They got packed in a box and never shown to anyone if I could help it . Then a few weeks ago, I found an old box of pictures with me as a child and in high school and so on, and I was going through them. I would see them and would think "Why did I think I was so ugly? I wasn't." I thought to myself that it was sad that I went through my younger days feeling that way about myself when looking back, it wasn't true.
Of course, my first tendency now is still to not like pictures of myself and find fault with myself, but now I really try to see things differently because I want to appreciate my younger years yet. I don't want to spend so much time hating how I look or wishing things were different about myself, and then one day when I am 60 or 70, look back sadly that I went through life never appreciating what is good about my looks. I think these thoughts have come to the fore more because I am realizing now just how fast life passes us by. One day you are 20 and suddenly and shockingly you find yourself 30, and so on. Try not to be so hard on yourself, try to find things to appreciate and take pride in now rather than looking back years ahead and feeling sad that you spent so much time feeling badly about yourself. I promise you with all my heart that when I see your picture, I see an attractive and pretty person, I cannot see ugliness at all. Someday you will see that too, and I hope you can start seeing it sooner than I did with my own pictures .
Certainly, grief is the price we all pay for love.
- Gretchen Jackson, co-owner of Barbaro