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Thread: anyone want to giggle?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Texas Tha Dirty South
    Posts
    971

    anyone want to giggle?

    It's tough getting old

    Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary.Maggie was young, sweet, and polite. One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open, on leaving the room,she said "Oh, Mr. Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open??" He did not understant her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in, he asked "By the way, Miss Bolt, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at attention??" She was quite witty, "Why, no, Mr. Reiss" she replied. "All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags."

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play
    date.

    "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

    "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,"
    the mother replied.

    "It's not polite."

    "OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

    "Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

    Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a
    divorce?"

    "That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

    The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

    "My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to
    her friend.

    "Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers'
    license It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

    Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
    "I know how old you are, you are 32."

    The mother is surprised and asks,
    "How did you find that out?

    "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

    The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
    "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

    "And," the little girl says triumphantly,
    "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

    "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

    Because you got an F in sex."
    Love is Adoptable. Adopt a Pit Bull.

    Don't Breed or Buy While Shelter Animals Die.

    If Pit Bulls are outlawed, only outlaws will have Pit Bulls.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    I hail from South Carolina, but Texas is where I hang my hat :)
    Posts
    10,007
    How funny.
    The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. - Dr. Paul Farmer

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,741
    Funny!

    Thank you Kay for the beautiful sig!

    "We can judge the heart of man by his treatment of animals"

    ~Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    8,046
    now those are funny, too bad I have bad memory and will probably either goof them up or forget them totally if I were to tell them. lol
    Soar high & free my sweet fur angels. I love you Nanook & Raustyk... forever & ever.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    7,317
    LOL!

    Ashley & Crossbone ("mini ACD")
    Living with my parent's: Jack (Lab/Beagle), Micki & Mini (JRTS)
    RIP Kyra: 07/11/04 - 11/3/12; Shadow: 4/2/96 - 3/17/08

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Texas Tha Dirty South
    Posts
    971
    Originally posted by lv4dogs
    now those are funny, too bad I have bad memory and will probably either goof them up or forget them totally if I were to tell them. lol
    That's why I have to post them on a thread to make people laugh.
    Love is Adoptable. Adopt a Pit Bull.

    Don't Breed or Buy While Shelter Animals Die.

    If Pit Bulls are outlawed, only outlaws will have Pit Bulls.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
    Posts
    6,600
    Too funny!!!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
    Posts
    3,330
    LOL

    Thank you for the signature manda_moo87

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    CUTE!!!
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Batavia, IL
    Posts
    4,609
    that was great
    Kari (me), Kiera (B&T Coonhound), Jesse (cocker), Jada (Ball Python), Derek (Betta)

    Add Glitter to your Photos





    ~Kari~

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Dayton Oh
    Posts
    297
    LOL

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