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Thread: It's been awhile....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    West Milford, NJ
    Posts
    3,897

    It's been awhile....

    Hi everyone!

    It's been awhile since I've felt like really posting anything, but I just wanted to check in with everyone. I still lurk every morning though

    Things are not so great here, but getting a little better. A couple of you know that I have been battling some major depression for awhile now. Well last night I finally quit my job, and I start my new job in 2 weeks. I should be happy, but I can't quite shake these bad feelings, like what if I'm doing the wrong thing, or what if I hate my new job, etc...So many negative thoughts are in my head, I haven't had a positive, uplifting thought in months.

    I tried to do something bad to myself about a month ago (I won't go into detail here) and yes both my husband and myself go to a therapist weekly.

    I am hoping that this job thing will be the strength I need to get over the hump. But what about everything else in my life? Our marriage is sucking, we don't do anything together because we have no money to go out. Our house is falling apart. We don't know how to have any fun- now I know that sounds strange, but it's true. We are both very serious people. I have no friends, no one to really talk to around here, no other girlfriends to go shopping with and hang out with. It's lonely as he11 here.

    Not that anyone has wondered where I went, but I just had to let it out to the only people that may be able to give me some support

    Here's a kitty pic to make this official:
    `````````````````````````
    I love my furkid Neko!

    ^TAMA^ 8/24/00 - 4/27/12 Thank you for being in my life I love you always and forever


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    875
    I, too, suffer from major depression and have been taking Zoloft and Wellbutrin for some time now. Please PM if you need someone to talk to. I may be able to help since I can relate to what you are going through.
    Proud meowmy of Weezie, Eepie, Grey Girl and Neko...or Weezer Peezer, Eepie Peepie, Grey Grey and Neko the Gecko as they are commonly known!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Greenville, SC, USA
    Posts
    17,963
    Well, I, for one, am glad to see you posting, but I am concerned about you based on your post. There is so much good in life and I do hope that these sessions with the therapist are going to help you and your husband, and perhaps the new job will be a nice and exciting change for you.

    I'm going to keep you in my prayers that all will work out for you. Keep your chin up!

    Logan

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    18,857
    Hi Michele,
    I understand almost everything you are saying. And the condition (depression) makes all those feelings more pronounced. I too am on Zoloft. It helps a great deal. I still have many of the negative thoughts, but they don't CONTROL me like they used to. I often feel friendless and lonely. I feel useless and worthless. But I no longer feel this way ALL the time.

    I hope and pray that this new job can give you a boost of self confidence......AND fun!!!

    Stay in touch, we care.
    .

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    485
    Hi Neko;
    I haven't posted in a while but your post drew me.
    I am going through the same thing - profound derpression.
    I remember you and your sweet kitties and I have wondered why you haven't been around. I don't really have anything esle to say other that you are not alone and we all care about you here.

    you can PM if you like.
    Agnes

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    39,934
    I HAVE MISSED YOU,AND YOUR KITTIES,VERY MUCH,AND I THINK,THAT YOU WILL BE PLEASANTLY,SUPRISED,BY HOW MUCH WE MISS YOUR CATS.I GUESS,THAT WHEN SOMEONE,HAS BEEM GONE,FOR A BIT,WE WILL HAVE,TO START,A THREAD,TO LET THEM,KNOW,THAT THEY HAVE BEEN MISSED.
    I HAVE SCRAPPY 2,AND POUNCETTE,TWO OUTDOOR CATS,THAT I HAVE RESCUED,AND RENAMED,AFTER MY ORIGINAL FRIENDS,THE POUNCER,AND MR SCRAPPY.
    AND THE CITY,IS HELPING ME,FIX UP THE HOTEL,AS I AM A LOW INCOME PERSON,ABOUT A THOUSAND,A MONTH.I WILL PAY PART,BUT THEY ARE DOING,THE MAJORITY,AND THE HOTEL,WILL SHINE.DOES THE CITY,WHERE YOU ARE,HAVE A PROGRAM,LIKE THIS,EVEN IF YOU HALF,TO PUT,IT ON YOUR TAXES,OVER FIVE YEARS,AS I AM DOING.

    PLEASE DONT BE AWAY,SO LONG,WE MISS YOU,AND YOUR CATS.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    I'm not sure, what day is it? ;-)
    Posts
    13,742
    Michele, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time lately. I had missed you posting, but thought it was because you were busy with work and all. I know nothing about the depression you are going through, but it does seem that there is a group of people here who are going through the same thing. I hope you can draw on their strength to help you get through this. I do know that not one of them would turn you away if you asked them for help. In my eyes, they are all wonderful, loving, caring people - as are you - so I don't understand these feelings of no self worth, but I do know that depression is a real thing and is nothing to be ignored. I'm so glad you and Brian (if I remembe right?) are seeking help. I remember seeing your wedding pics and thinking how happy you both looked to be starting out on a new life together.

    I'm glad you reached out because that is usually a big first step. Keep reaching out and I know you will get past this.

    {{{hugs}}}
    Tubby
    Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
    RIP Big Boy
    -----------
    Peanut
    Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
    RIP Snotty Girl
    -----------
    Robin
    Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
    RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl

  8. #8
    Oh Michelle! How good to see you again. Just the other day I wondered about you.

    Sorry you are having a rough time. It happens to so many of us. I really unerstand the friends thing. Having moved so far from home, family, friends....I have been very lonely at times as well.

    I have decided to join some organizations to help me meet people. I, too remember how happy you looked in your wedding pictures. Maybe if you think about what made you happy then it will help.

    Well....I'm just so glad to see you back here!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Munich
    Posts
    15,287
    Michelle, I missed you too.

    I am so sorry. I know that depression takes the joy out of life and your life is in black and white and no longer in color.

    I know that you are an intelligent and loving person and I hope medicine and therapy can get the color back into your and Brian's life.

    Come here, show off your kitties.

    And give some serious kisses to my special friend Tama

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark - GMT+1
    Posts
    14,839
    Michelle, I've not been posting much lately, but I have noticed you missing. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going though. It's a good start to go to a therapist, talking about problems always help. I'm not too happy either, since I lost John, but having good friends make it easier. We'll be here if you need to talk.

    Hugs - and headbumpies from Fister.





    "I don't know which weapons will be used in the third World war, but in the fourth, it will be sticks and stones" --- Albert Einstein.


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    Michelle,

    I've missed you and your furkids so much. I posted a thread a while ago to see where you were and would have emailed you, but I've had so much drama in my life recently...but I have been thinking a lot about you.

    If you ever need someone to talk to, please PM, email or call me. I'll PM you all my contact info, OK?

    You are a much valued PT member. I miss you and your kitties all the time.

    I hope things get better for you. Depression is a horrible thing to have to deal with and you have my utmost sympathy. I was in a medicine induced depression a few months ago and it was BY FAR the worst thing I've ever had to go through...I'm so sorry you're struggling with this daily.

    Lots of hugs and love,
    Kelly
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Killearn, Scotland
    Posts
    10,749
    I'm so sorry to hear that you have been having such a bad time. Depression is not something that I have experienced, so I can't help with any advice, but I've always enjoyed your posts and your lovely kitties. I hope that talking about it will be another step on the road to recovery. We're here when you need us.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,092
    Michelle,I think all of us get depressed because the world can be so cruel.Some worse than others.We are here for you. PM me anytime.I'm home most of the time.I hope you find some happiness down the road.I know when I was living alone and only had KiKi and BooBoo's...they were my lifeline.They made me laugh and loved me. "My friends,Even now,I find can be back stabbing,because they dislike themselves"."I always liked myself,so I think I'm fair to people". Most people are good.Just choose friends wisely.If the cats make you happy,spend time playing with them everyday and ask Brian to join you in playtime with them.I hope Medicine works for you.Life can be good.It's just hard to find what makes YOU happy.I'm here for you and everyone else here is too.There are so many nice SINCERE people in Pettalk.Your friend,Carla
    Last edited by catfamily; 06-09-2005 at 05:28 PM.

    Thank You Kim for this wonderful siggy

    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power ,the world will know peace" jimi hendrix

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,828
    I too missed you! I am so sorry to hear that things are not going so well lately. Believe me, I understand. Losing my job was the best thing for me, though there are rough days, I've never been happier. People don't really appreciate how much an unhappy work environment affects the rest of our outlook on life. I hope things start lookign up for you. {{HUGS}}

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    West Milford, NJ
    Posts
    3,897
    Thank you all so very much for your kind words. I will be printing this out so that I have a reminder of Friends. I have been crying nonstop yesterday and today over quitting my job. I'm having a really hard time right now but your words of comfort are so enlightening to me.

    Thank you again,
    michelle
    `````````````````````````
    I love my furkid Neko!

    ^TAMA^ 8/24/00 - 4/27/12 Thank you for being in my life I love you always and forever


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