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Thread: Hospital Memo

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    San Francisco, CA, where life is happy and gay!
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    7,321

    Hospital Memo

    This is mainly for RICHARD

    TO: Medical Personnel
    FROM: Human Resource
    It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.
    Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).
    Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
    Trauma patients are not FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper". Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
    HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
    Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
    Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
    The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".
    And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records).
    I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper, narratives and log entries.
    Sincerely,
    Directory of Human Resource

    Little Ms. Mitzi Mitts
    Our Photo Albums are
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    In memory of my beloved fur children, Goldie, Mishi and Mitzi.
    Rest in peace and play hard at the Rainbow Bridge.
    Goldie: 9/5/88 - 4/10/03
    Mishi: with us from 5/5/03 - 7/13/07
    Mitzi: with us from 4/19/03 - 1/23/10

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
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    24,789
    Now I'm getting dedications on threads...

    THOSE are the tame ones....

  3. #3
    CC (Cancel Christmas), nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".

    lmao

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
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    18,317
    RedHedd,

    ROFLMAO!!!! I worked as a paramedic for over 20 years. Those are absolutely hilarious!!!!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  5. #5
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
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    I'm not sure, what day is it? ;-)
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    Too funny!

    Love the "glow worms." Wonder if our Thursday Hazmat team would object to that.

    Also love the ART (assuming room temperature).
    Tubby
    Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
    RIP Big Boy
    -----------
    Peanut
    Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
    RIP Snotty Girl
    -----------
    Robin
    Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
    RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Texas Tha Dirty South
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    971
    Oh my, those were funny.

    But can someone explain the "stroke patients NOT Charlie Carrots", that one went over my head.
    Love is Adoptable. Adopt a Pit Bull.

    Don't Breed or Buy While Shelter Animals Die.

    If Pit Bulls are outlawed, only outlaws will have Pit Bulls.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Westchester Cty, NY
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    8,577
    "Charlie Carrot"= vegetable, I suspect. These are so funny! Sick, but funny.
    I've been finally defrosted by cassiesmom!
    "Not my circus, not my monkeys!"-Polish proverb

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Texas Tha Dirty South
    Posts
    971
    Ah Ha!
    Love is Adoptable. Adopt a Pit Bull.

    Don't Breed or Buy While Shelter Animals Die.

    If Pit Bulls are outlawed, only outlaws will have Pit Bulls.

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