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Thread: Moving past tramatic experience? Help please

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    Austin, Texas
    Posts
    10,130

    Moving past tramatic experience? Help please

    I witnessed something terrible this evening at 5:00pm. I know it is still fresh since only 4.5 hours have passed, but I am having major problems getting it out of my head. I keep getting these flashes and having anxiety attacks.

    My boyfriend is trying to help me, but he doesn't really know what to do. My animals are helping distract me, but I still keep seeing these images in my mind.

    Does anyone know any technique or trick I can do to try to put my mind at ease?

    By the way, it was a motorcycle accident I witnessed. I was first on the scene and so got deeply involved ... still shaking. I was actually really close behind the guy when it happened, but I glanced away for a second and then looked back to see his body in the street. I've never been in a situation like that before and there was a lot of blood. The man will be okay though I'm pretty sure.
    Alyson
    Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
    and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Haines, Alaska!
    Posts
    6,334
    ::HUGS::

    O Aly, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say to help, time will help though ::hugs::

    Ashley
    Dogs: Nova, Konnor and Sitka

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Wylie, Texas USA
    Posts
    5,170
    I honestly don't know, Alyson. I witnessed my neighbor's dog being hit by a truck and I had nightmares for about 2.5 weeks. I would replay the scenes over and over in my mind at various times throughout the day and night. I had to just work through it. I can still summon the memories as if it happened yesterday. I don't think you ever forget, but your mind will eventually put it aside.

    I'm glad the man will be ok. I can't believe I ever rode a motorcycle!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    7,662
    {{Hugs}} to you Aly. I know exactly what you are talking about: once was a motorcycle accident, and the other, I can't even speak about to this day. I don't know of any miracle cure to help you to forget, but the passing of time does help.

    {{More hugs to you}}

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Waltham, MA, USA
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    36,365
    Hugs to you tonight. Perhaps calling the police or the hospital, and getting some assurance on that guy's condition will help you sleep tonight. Take a blank piece of paper and write down every horrible detail that you saw - think of it as a "brain dump" and then fold that piece of paper up and put it in a drawer where you won't see it. That way if you ever need to give details to someone you have it, but can then forget it.

    Then play with Lolly til she makes those growly silly monster noises that made me giggle when I saw/heard them back when we were in Texas. Laugh until your sides ache, and maybe some of the ickiness will go away.

    Big hugs to you.

    Not a medical professional, just a fellow human bean!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    You poor thing, what a horrible thing to have to witness. Hugs to you.

    The only thing I can think of is to keep busy doing something that wont allow you to think about it. Reading? Talking? Chatting on AIM.

    Hugs to you again. I wish I could help more.

    Luv, Kelly
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    3,458
    Time does heal things, but it is important not to let these situations that you have been placed in overwhelm you.
    I have been held up at work a few times, shot at in the Middle East, jumped upon by a gang in Singapore with chains & knives, and yes seen an horrific accident. (I had a somewhat excitable time in my twenties) To this day I can recall every single incident and how they played out. I never bring the subjects up but I can talk about them. With some of them it was a while before I colud do so. But with all, I sat down and thought hard about every incident when it happened and released that information from my mind. You could talk to someone, as in a proffessional, but I for one have never been comfortable talking about these things to a stranger. Your partner I'm sure will give you all the love and support that you need. Karen had a pretty good idea, and I reckon if you sat down with your cats & dogs and tell them, they will listen and give you big kisses after no doubt.

    You have a good soul to be upset by this unfortunate accident, but the trauma should not diminish you outlook on things. Be well mate, and love your family.

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our life whole

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Munich
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    15,287
    I think the only thing you can do at the moment is accept that it WAS a horrible experience. Nobody can expect you to be ok right after that.

    I am so very sorry that you had to experience that, sorry for that guy but especially for you.

    As to remembering or writing down I am not sure: these days it is said that push a traumatic experience aside in the first time after it can help just as much as talking to a doc or psychotherapist.

    Try to be gentle to yourself: try to take stress out of your everyday life. Play with the furkids, take a hot bath (if you like that.) or cook yourself a nice warm soup (if you like that).

    Good old time will change things- but not right now unfortunately.

    {{{Hugs}}}

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ohio
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    9,665
    I'm so sorry you had to experience this. Big hugs for you. I have no advice for you. I do like what Karen suggested though.

    I have had a similiar experience also and it still sticks with me. I saw a woman's body laying in the middle of a street after she had jumped to her death. It was not bloody or gory but there was just something very creepy about the way her body was positioned and knowing she wouldn't survive. To this day I can still see her foot in a wierd position and her tennis shoe laying close by where it had been knocked off her foot. *shivers*

    Robin

  10. #10
    *HUGS*

    As others have said, in time, the memory will fade. You may still have it, but it won't trouble you as much. Do you favorite things to keep your mind off it.

    I still remember clearly the night Kia had her seizure. I remember the fear and the panic, but I don't let it get to me. Knowing Kia is with me now and all right helps me not think of it as much.
    ~Kimmy, Kia, Chipper, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, June, Mei, Jasper, Esme, Lucy Inara, & Morla

    Thanks Kfamr for the sig!

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
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    15,826
    {{HUGS}} Sounds terrible and I don't know what to say to help you move past it. I know a lot of times people go to counseling made specifically for people that witnessed events like the one you just were involved with.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
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    Greenville, SC, USA
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    How are you this morning, Aly? I hope you got some rest last night.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,252
    It takes lots of time. When my neighbor was murdered, I thought about her and relived the events every day for sooooo long. Years. Now, while I still think of her often, the feelings I felt then are no longer with me and I am able to remember her with a smile on my face.

    Just take it easy... It'll get easier with time.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    Austin, Texas
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    10,130
    Thanks everyone, you've all helped me already with your comments.

    I did have a rough night and woke up with a migraine. Still getting flashes of the scene and thinking of the man constantly. I guess I am lucky (and so is he) because it could have been so much worse.

    Its just so weird because 30 seconds earlier, I was sitting behind him at a red light. I put my car in park because I didn't want to accidently have my car roll and hit him (I get nervous around motorcycles). I remember reading the back of his shirt and looking at his motorcycle. We made the left turn and I was right behind him. He must've started speeding because he ended up way out in front of me. We were just like 15 seconds down that road when I looked up and saw his body in the middle of the road. It was so scary. I stopped in the middle of the road to run and see if he was okay. Thankfully since I stopped traffic, another few men ran out of their cars to help me. I had 911 on the phone quickly and could brealy even form the words to talk to them. I'm really not good in emergencies at all. I guess I managed to do all that I could though. I also am not good around blood. I don't ever watch violence on tv or movies and so it was really, really upsetting to me. His whole head was just covered in blood. I'll spare you guys the rest of the details. I guess I feel even better now talking about it. The 911 operator was really nice as well. I think she may be the only reason I didn't faint.

    The man was unconscious at first, but came to rather quickly. We managed to get him off the street and into the grass and he was sitting up on his own. I think he'll be fine, but I wish I knew for sure. I'm still not sure exactly how it happened. I have a feeling he was speeding and/or goofing around (this happened right across the street from a small motorcycle bar ... he happened to be wearing a shirt from that bar so maybe he was showing off for his friends and trying to do some trick? I don't know). A bunch of the motorcycle guys ended up running out and helping us too. I have really bad thoughts about the people who steered their cars around me, my car, his body, and his motorcycle and went on their merry way. I understand the people who didn't stop after a bunch of us had stopped, but there were a few cars initially that really did literally steer around his body. I'm just disgusted at that. There are no words to explain my feelings about that.

    Sorry this became long-winded. It did help me though, along with all of your comments. Thank you all so much *hug*

    Please, if anyone rides a motorcycle, wear a helmet.
    Alyson
    Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
    and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
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    13,010
    (((Aly)))

    You did an amazing thing and most likely saved his life. You should be very proud of what you did honey.

    I'm so sorry you had to be in that situation at all, but you were and you preformed as needed. Good job, girl!

    Those people that didn't stop are horrible. They'll have to live with themselves.

    Take care,
    Kelly
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

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