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Thread: A Rescuers Answering Machine Message ;-)

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
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    A Rescuers Answering Machine Message ;-)

    Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

    Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

    Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

    Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

    Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.

    Press 5 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.

    Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.

    Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having
    problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

    Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

    Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

    Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

    Press 11 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old, unneutured, aggressive dog.

    Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today and pick up the dog you no longer want.

    Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.

    Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work.

    Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.

    Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

    Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because we can't get to your house in the next hour.

    Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the
    audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

    Press 19 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have an abundance of.

    Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.

    Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take
    personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

    Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.

    Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.

    Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.

    Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.

    Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.

    Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because it is declawed, but are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.

    Press 28 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.

    Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.

    Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel.

    Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.

    Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

    Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.

    Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.

    Press 35 if you went through all these 'presses' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from of the grief of missing his family.

    WE SALUTE YOU RESCUERS, VOLUNTEERS and SUPPORTERS!!!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
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    Cat can be easily substituted for dog!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    Land of the Ducks...quack!
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    Im going to hang that on my apartmet door lol! And hang it on my moms door too! Can Bird be substituted for Dog too?

    I really do admire you QSA! You go through a lot to save the lives of unwanted pets. Grrrr you're more patient than me, I would have slapped the living H**L out of a few people you have mentioned

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Originally posted by DJFyrewolf36
    Im going to hang that on my apartmet door lol! And hang it on my moms door too! Can Bird be substituted for Dog too?

    I really do admire you QSA! You go through a lot to save the lives of unwanted pets. Grrrr you're more patient than me, I would have slapped the living H**L out of a few people you have mentioned
    I'm sure any pet can be substituted! This isn't on my answering machine, but it should be! A modified version of course.
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Cactus country.. tucson, AZ!
    Posts
    1,371
    I think copies of that should be sent to every Animal Control and Humane Society, and should be posted on PetFinder.... maybe, just maybe, it would make a few people stop and think.

    You rescuers are godess-sent, that's for darn sure!
    "He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals."
    -- Immanuel Kant

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    485
    Oh man. I don't know you you do it.
    You have no idead how much I admire what you do.
    I fall into a profound depression for 2 weeks after visiting a pound. I wish I had the strenght to do what you do.
    # 35 made my heart ache.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Modesto, Ca
    Posts
    6,769
    That is a good post. It really made me think about what you rescuers go though. Thanks for sharing that.


    Thank you Wolfie!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    17,331
    I agree this should be posted everywhere!!! How about taught in our schools!!!!???
    Kim Loves Cats and Doggies Too!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Northeast, MA.
    Posts
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    rescue work

    I cannot imagine how people who work in kill shelters do it. Like the Animal Rescue League- those nation wide orgs... people like jan, kim, jen, etc, get the phone calls and make trips into local shelters so hear the awful excuses constantly!!! CONSTANTLY! BUT imagine having to sit with the people surrendering and doing the paperwork and keeping your mouth shut? and then a week later, the pet is euthanized? NO WAY could I be in that job! I don't think we have anyone on pet talk that actually works in a federally funded shelter where they only keep the pet for so long...
    pixie

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
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    Jan,

    That is PRICELESS!!!! And how true too!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    39,617
    The People who fit that description,are the Spoiled Brats,whose arents always picked up after them,and they dont know how to properly be a Pet Guardian!My Dear Mother,May the Lord Bles,and Keep Her,always Insisted that we take care of Any Animal,that we had as a Companion!Things,are just too easy,for a lot of People Today,they are SPOILED!
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

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