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Thread: Anger Management.. funny!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
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    Cleveland, Ohio
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    Anger Management.. funny!!




    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

    One day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make.

    I found the number and dialed it.

    A man answered, saying, "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Serge. May I please speak with Trainmaster Robin Carter ?

    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. So I tracked down the Trainmasters correct number and called her.

    I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a**hole!" and hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an a**hole!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a**hole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale "sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole, ( I had his number on speed dial ) , I thought I had better call the BMW a**hole, too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    "Yes, it is."

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Superintendent Don Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen,Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Don, you're an a**hole."

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**holes to call.

    But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.

    I called A**hole #1.

    "Hello."

    "You're an a**hole!" ( But I didn't hang up. )

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Superintendent Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "A**hole, I live at 1802 West 34th street , a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole."

    Then I called A**hole #2. "

    Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, a**hole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your a**," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police,saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

    Then I called Channel 3 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to buddy's house .

    There I saw two a**holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

    NOW, I feel better.

    Anger management really works.
    You're the one sure thing I've found so you better stick around...
    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful man that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
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    Iowa!
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    That is just too funny! Dummy me would have forgotten about caller ID and gotten caught.

    9/3/13
    I did the right thing by setting you free
    But the pain is very deep.
    If only I could turn back time, forever, you I'd keep.
    I miss you


    I hear you whimper in your sleep
    I gently pet you and say, no bad dreams
    It will be alright, to my dog as dark as night.

    Fur as dark as the night.
    Join me on this flight.
    Paws of love that follow me.
    In my heart you'll forever be.
    [/SIZE]



    How I wish I could hold you near.
    Turn back time to make it so.
    Hug you close and never let go.
    11/12/06




  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    Hehe, I've read that. It's one of my favorites!


    Thank you Wolfie!

  4. #4
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    I love it!!!

  5. #5
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    LOL Thats hilarious! Thanks for sharing

    RIP Jasper. I can't believe you're gone.
    RIP Tigger...I miss you every single day.
    Piddle Jasper Wiggles Emma Tucker Almond Pecan
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    RIP Angus, I miss you!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
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    That would not work with me......

    When I drive people yell at me, "Watch where you are going, A**hole....."

    It's much more personal that way!
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Dang Oakland Raiders..

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
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    Maryland,USA
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    LOL that is really funny.
    ~Your best friend doesn't have to be human~

  8. #8
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    Jul 2002
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    edmonds, wa
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    lol! for a second i thought you really did this just for a second though. lol it's funny

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    State College, PA
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    That's hilarious!!!!!
    Emily, Kito, Abbey, Riley, and Jada

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Middle TN, United States
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    8,316
    Oh that is one of my favorites too! I love that one. I always get a laugh out of that one. Thanks for reminding me of it!

    Willie

    Thank You, kittycats_delight for my new siggy!!!

  11. #11
    Hmmm.......I've been waiting for a way to relieve anger. Now I know the way to do it!

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