Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Excerpts From A Cat And Dog Diaries

  1. #1

    Excerpts From A Cat And Dog Diaries

    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY, FOLLOWED BY A DOG'S DIARY

    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

    DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

    DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

    DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
    He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
    move.
    Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

    Day number 180

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    Day number 181

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

    Day number 182

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

    1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

    5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

    5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE

    "All men are created equal but none of them is equal to a dog." From the "Howard Huge" cartoon..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    North Wales, UK.
    Posts
    11,885
    ROTFL especially at the dog diary!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    Posts
    22,813
    Albea,

    Thanks for the laughs today. Loved them both !!!
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Men, it has been well said, think in herds. It will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one."
    Charles Mackay, Scottish journalist, circa 1841

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Too cute!!!! I loved the cat diary...my cats don't think like that....right???
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Tucson, Az
    Posts
    9,428
    LOL sometimes i think Corkscrew could be thinking like that......
    I've been Defrosted!

    Thanks for the great signature Kay!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    West Milford, NJ
    Posts
    3,897
    HEE HEE I actually have a floor mat that says cat day #752 but I didn't know there was more! Thanks for sharing!!
    `````````````````````````
    I love my furkid Neko!

    ^TAMA^ 8/24/00 - 4/27/12 Thank you for being in my life I love you always and forever


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    Originally posted by neko1
    HEE HEE I actually have a floor mat that says cat day #752 but I didn't know there was more! Thanks for sharing!!
    I NEED that!! Where did you get it???

    We have one that says: We swear, the cat was like that when we got it.

    hee hee
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    West Milford, NJ
    Posts
    3,897
    Originally posted by NoahsMommy

    I NEED that!! Where did you get it???

    We have one that says: We swear, the cat was like that when we got it.

    hee hee
    I got it at a store in the mall that just sells all cat and dog items. I think its called pampered pets
    `````````````````````````
    I love my furkid Neko!

    ^TAMA^ 8/24/00 - 4/27/12 Thank you for being in my life I love you always and forever


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    7,661
    Hehehehehehehe!! I really needed that giggle after this long day!!! I was cracking up by the time I got to the doggie diary!! Thanks!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Long Island, NY, USA
    Posts
    3,367
    LOL OMG that is so funny! I love them both!
    • Brittany (noun) - Brit-knee = Just a girl that loves her kitties.


    My furfamily (from top left, clockwise): Malley (age 10- "the Eldest"); Oreo (age 10 - "the Subway Jared of Cats");
    Bandit (age 6 - "the Sweetie"); Missy (age 3 - "the Scaredy-Kat"); *Rocky (age 2 - "the Baby"); & *Sophia (age 4 - "the Princess").
    And of course I can`t forget my beta fish, *Regulus, who is almost two years old!
    { * = my fur(and fin)babies; the others belong to my parents/sister but are of course part of the family! }

    RIP Lady, Sally & Floppsy. You will always be remembered; Mommy misses you!

Similar Threads

  1. The Diaries of Eduardo
    By cassiesmom in forum Cat General
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 02-11-2010, 02:53 PM
  2. The Vampire Diaries
    By finn's mom in forum General
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-13-2009, 10:28 PM
  3. Excerts from pets' Diaries
    By zoey in forum Dog General
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-28-2007, 02:16 PM
  4. Dog and Cat Diaries
    By janelle in forum Cat General
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-30-2005, 08:47 AM
  5. Excerpts from your pet's dairy
    By primabella in forum General
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-29-2003, 05:16 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Copyright © 2001-2013 Pet of the Day.com