Dearest Jacquespot, what a stunningly gorgeous long-hair Tuxedo guy you are! You are so handsome, with that long, LOOOOOONG fluffy black and white fur that looks so luxurious and soft to the touch. And you have the sweetest face with those long, LOOOOOONG, LOOOOOOOONG white whiskers and eyebrows and the lovely big golden eyes. Thank you for sharing those great photos with us! You are quite distinguished-looking running your rainy-day escort service. And in that one of you on your back, are you looking for a tummy rub? I wish I could reach through the screen and up to Nova Scotia and rub it if so and pet you! I can't, of course, but I know your loving and beloved Purrrsons will rub your tum if you wish and pet you for me .
And what a story you have to tell! You came to your dear Purrrsons when you were only four weeks old, when your original people had to move away. (We hope your two brothers also got good homes!) You were very tiny and needed a bit of care at first, but with shots and a lot of petting, everyone adored you. You came with extraordinarily enormous whiskers and eyebrows, which you later grew into.
You immediately displayed your skills as a croquet player, getting into the games by chasing the balls through the wickets. 12 years and 12 pounds later, you still play though you no longer fit through the wickets. You also started your rainy-day escort service a few years ago. Now, when not playing or escorting, you generally hang about looking very handsome. You and your dear Purrrsons love each other very much, don't you. What a delightful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Jacquespot, on being chosen today's Cat of the Day! We hope you and your dear Purrrsons and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite treats and games, perhaps even another round of croquet!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Sir Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery