Dearest Baby Einstein, you are adorable! What a cute doggie you are! And what a delightful personality you have, too! You are a gifted canine TV critic with a distinct rating system for animal shows. You and your eight litter-mates were all rescued from a kill shelter and brought to New Jersey, where you and your dear people met and adopted each other. You and they and your Calico-kitty sister Miss Callie all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Baby Einstein, on being chosen today's Dog of the Day! We hope you and Miss Callie and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Sir Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery