Dearest Bubble, aren't you ever an adorable Hermit Crab! And what a good friend you are for your dear person! You have the most delightful personality, and you even come to him/her when your name is whispered. You and she/he love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Bubble, on being chosen today's Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear person and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats, maybe even a special serving of pineapple!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Sir Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery