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Thread: My Tasha is gone

  1. #31
    So very, very sorry for your loss. Was a holiday here so went to Stanley park, but was reminded of you so many times today. My heart goes out to you, had a couple good cries myself. So good that you are sharing your feelings, Tasha was so important and mattered so much, so do you. Sure hope you can get more support and help soon, bless your heart honey!

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Waltham, MA, USA
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    Oh, and do not feel badly about keeping her toys and things for now. On my keychain is a dog tag from Peppy, my Great Aunt Bertha's beagle, he died a long tome ago, but was a much loved family member. I found it when we bought her house all those years ago, and just couldn't part with it.
    I've Been Frosted

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Waltham, MA, USA
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    Do start a little notebook - I fin handwriting it helps, but you can do it on the computer if you are more comfortable that way. And every day, take it out and write down one Tasha memory that made you smile, or laugh or just made your heart swell with love. Big or small, write one each day, and I promise, eventually you will fell a little better. And of course hug your other dogs - fur is remarkably good at absorbing tears.

    And if you want, you can call me, I will PM you with my phone number, or I can call you, just let me know. Like my first and last name, yours is not terribly unique either, so I won't try Googling you!
    I've Been Frosted

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    RIP Tasha. I watched Tasha tribute & read the posts. It is so hard to say goodbye to our best friends ever. She led a wonderful life with you.
    The frost is on the pumpkin & I've been BOO'D by two pet talk ghosts.
    Thank you Fritz & Cassiesmom

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Chicagoland, IL
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    She was my heart girl, and I can barely function. Going in to see a doctor in a bit this morning. I can't begin to describe the devastation I feel.
    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    I made this nearly a year before she passed. I just wanted it to be here in her memorial thread. Somehow it shows her sweet soul the way nothing else does.

    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Waltham, MA, USA
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    Awww, so sweet!
    I've Been Frosted

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Aww =/ im sorry for your loss an wish there was something i could say to help you feel better but i know theres prolly not jack beans of anything that anyone can say thatd help.

    i was feeling guilty after Kirbys last vet visit but then my dad picked me up an dusted me off when i told him i felt guilty for having him put to sleep. my dad said: "dont. you have no reason to. you gave him a long and happy life and you ensured he stayed happy. thats all that should matter"

    i wish you lots of luck an sending you lots of virtual hugs.
    PM me if you like as well

    ~ ~ R. I. P Kirby 9/24/99 - 3/3/14 ~ ~
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  9. #39
    Loved seeing the beautiful video of Tasha, what a sweetheart.

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    This was my Tasha girl in her younger years. My girl who hated water; wouldnít so much step in and get her feet wet. But I waded out to throw balls for Tommy, and there was no way she was going to leave me out in that dangerous water on my own.

    So out she followed me. I never called her or coaxed her, she just came. Oh, she tried to keep one foot raised up above that nasty wet stuff, but she just kept following me and following me, no matter how far out I waded. Finally I felt so bad for her that I turned back and went back to land. She joyously followed me back to the beach.

    That was my girl. That was her dedication and loyalty to me.

    Tasha, you were my good girl. How many weeks and months does it take for the pain of a bond like that to heal? I hope I did everything right by you when you became old, sore and disabled. I hope I gave you the merciful and sweet passing you deserved. Because nothing could ever repay all you gave to me ó your whole self.
    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

  11. #41
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    Oct 2005
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    Illinois, USA
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    This thread still has me in tears. I believe with all my heart that you did everything right by Tasha and more, because I have been privileged to witness your loving care for her through your posts and facebook updates. I believe I'll have the honor of meeting her across the Rainbow Bridge, One Fine Day. Please give Raven and Rudy some big hugs for me. ((((HUGS))))
    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  12. #42
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    Nov 2003
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    I brought Tasha's ashes home today. I've been crying most the day. I feel so gutted, and I don't know how to get through this. She was my go-to girl for every loss I dealt with, and I can't seem to deal with losing her. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, the missing of her is so intense I feel physically ill much of the time. I can barely eat, I just want to sleep, sleep and sleep. Every day seems to last a year. It seems unreal that there can be a life here without my Tasha by my side.
    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

  13. #43
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    Waltham, MA, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by K9soul View Post
    I brought Tasha's ashes home today. I've been crying most the day. I feel so gutted, and I don't know how to get through this. She was my go-to girl for every loss I dealt with, and I can't seem to deal with losing her. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, the missing of her is so intense I feel physically ill much of the time. I can barely eat, I just want to sleep, sleep and sleep. Every day seems to last a year. It seems unreal that there can be a life here without my Tasha by my side.
    She will always be there of you, Jess, but we know it is hard to say good-bye to her physical presence. I am glad her ashes are home with you again, though. A reminder and a touchstone for you. How are the other dogs reacting?
    I've Been Frosted

  14. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
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    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
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    Dearest Jess,
    It is hard. It takes time, and yes, it can take a long time, but don't think that it will go on forever. You will ALWAYS remember her, and look for her, but think of how grateful she is now she is no longer in pain. Think of what a great life she had with you. Think of all the fun times you had.
    Most of all, take care of yourself. It is HARD, IT IS! Please try eat a little, take care of your fur-kids, as they will miss her too.

    Take care of YOU
    Cry Shout Rant, but Love, Love, Love, and remember the good times.

    Love
    Michelle
    M!
    "No dog is born either vicious or friendly, but rather a blank slate that is moulded, for better or worse, by the owner."

  15. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Chicagoland, IL
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    Iíve always known losing Tash would be extremely difficult, but I didnít realize the true impact it would have on me. Itís amazing the insights that come to you about someone after they are gone. Losing Tasha wasnít just losing a beloved dog, Iíve realized she was really my primary emotional support since I adopted her in March of 1999.

    Iíve always had anxiety issues, and I used to struggle a lot with very poor self-esteem. Tasha was the first (and only) dog to fully attach herself to me, and only me. The way she is looking up at me in this photo, she didnít look at anyone else that way. She would tolerate anything I asked of her, she would stay at my side even if I went somewhere frightening or unpleasant for her.

    I had a bad bout of prolonged anxiety in summer 2012 with frequent panic attacks and unrelenting anxiety day after day. I would often go sit out on my deck steps and just sit there, heart pounding, trembling, trying to just ďliveĒ through it. Tasha always came with me, and never left my side. I could sit out there an hour, two hours. She stayed with me. She never even went to lie down, she just stood quietly next to me, and sometimes kiss my hand or my face.

    You donít truly realize what you have until itís gone. I thought I knew, but living these past few days, the first time in over 15 years without her presence, I just didnít fully realize it. Iím plagued with bursts of grief and guilt and doubts about what I did. I think to myself how she may still be with me. The logical part of me points out her deterioration and all the things that led to me deciding she was tired, and was hurting and anxious too much. But itís hard. My mind plays the day over and I think, ďHow could I have done it?Ē And I remember watching her last 2 breaths, and I feel so sick. I have to accept sheís gone, but itís so hard. And when I am feeling so terrible, and she is not there, her comfort is not there has it has been for so long, I feel even more horrible.

    Iím writing some of this out to purge it from within me because it is just sitting there in my heart like a lead weight. I actually feel afraid, kind of set adrift without the one I always had to hold onto. I know all of this is selfish in regard to her, and the point she was at, but I just canít help it. I feel like Iíll never experience again that kind of bond. She just intuitively seemed to know when I was suffering and was always there. It has left an immeasurable hole in my heart and in my life.
    Mom to Raven and Rudy the greyhound

    Missing always: Tasha & Tommy, at the Rainbow Bridge

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