July 1, 2014 Humor
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Humor is subjective. No matter how funny you think something is, if you say it in a room full of people, not everyone will laugh. (Unless you’re me, of course.) There’s nothing wrong with them or you, they just might not like what you have to say.
If you don’t like the jokes below, either you think they’re too nerdy… or you just didn’t get them. (That’s okay, though.) These intelligent jokes are so clever, most people won’t get them on their first (second or third) read-through.
I hope you get them, though.
1.) It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally.
2.) Who is this Rorschach guy? … and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?
3.) A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus…. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”
4.) René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything. … René says, “I think not,” then disappears.
5.) Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.
6.) Yo momma’s so classless… she could be a Marxist utopia.
7.) Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?… He’s 0K now.
8.) An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. … After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits.”
9.) Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, “Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs.”