I've been struggling to create this post simply because I get far too emotional when trying to type this up.
Two weeks ago today my family and I said our good byes to Simba. It was truly the hardest decision I have ever made. His body was failing him but his mind and heart were there. He even wagged his tail and tried to greet me when I arrived at my parents house, but his body wouldn't let him.
I am so grateful that I work with a group of amazing veterinarians. We were able to say good bye to him at home, his home, the place he made home for us the 16.5 years we were blessed with his physical presence. My mom and I sat on the front porch with him, one of his favorite hangouts. We took turns to the efrigerator and brought him several different delicious meals before the doctor arrived. I held him and spoke to him as we were letting him go.
Simba is the reason I am who I am today. He was my very first dog and the biggest project of all of my rescues. He was a young, scared, fear aggressive 8 month old puppy and I was a lonely ten year old girl who always dreamed of having her own dog. He taught me how to deal with the numerous fear aggressive "I want to eat your face" patients I deal with on a daily basis at work. He helped me build confidence in myself and we tackled the world together.
I go through spurs of being highly relieved that we were able to end his pains of being an old dog to bawling my eyes out because I feel part of my heart being ripped away.
He may have been the one who needed safety that day 16 years ago when we adopted him, but it was him who brought us safety.
My dear Simba Lou, my heart dog. Everyday, I help several dogs and cats, through work and rescue work, and it's because of him.