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Thread: Cat vs. Husband!

  1. #1

    Cat vs. Husband!

    Hello!

    So I need some advise or tips. Here's the story- I adopted my cat Lucy 8 years ago with my ex-boyfriend. We had our own apartment and she had free roam of the place and no other pets to bother her. We moved into another house and she shared it for only three weeks with my ex's dog and loved him. Shortly after that me and the boyfriend went our separate ways and I of course kept that cat- I was the one who trained her and fed her and snuggled her more but she did love him as well. She was always friendly and she was a very well loved cat by us both. After our break up I temporarily moved back in with my parents- at the time they had 2 cats, one the same bread of my Lucy- and 1 dog. I only lived with my parents for 2/3 months before I moved in with my new boyfriend- his family already had a cat who was about 8/9 years old at the time and had never lived with another cat as an adult- only when she was a kitten and the older cat died shortly after. I left Lucy with my parents and she seemed to love it at first. She had 2 cats and a dog to play with and she had free roam of the whole house & my parents LOVED her to death! She lived with my parents for 6 years and over those years my parents got 3 more dogs total- one passed away within 1 year of getting him. As soon as my parents got the second dog, a beagle- she began to pee where ever she wanted to, she'd hide and you wouldn't see her for days! I'd come visit her and see her and try to snuggle with her but a dog would come up and she'd be gone…hiding where I could never find her. I tried to bring here to my husbands house once and that did not go so well- I wanted to slowly introduce the two cats but no one wanted to listen to me and I ended up being in a cat fight- I was ripped up and had to take my Lucy back home. Last November my husbands cat passed away at the age of 14 I believe- three weeks later I took my Lucy with me. It took her a few days to start to venture out of our bedroom and by the time we moved out this past April she was very social, No longer hiding and would sit with me for hours. The day we brought her home she wanted nothing to do with me and was all over my husband…even sleeping on his pillow with him. But that only lasted a few days- by week two he couldn't go near her without her scratching him. My husband is the sappiest cat person I have ever met! The first thing he does every morning is find Lucy and bring her to me- he tries to snuggle with her and he kisses her- talks to her all sweet, he searches for her to give her a little pet and a kiss the second he comes in the door- I've had him give her treats and try to play with her. She is beyond attached to me and when he is around her with me in the room she is a complete brat! If I am not around she will sometimes let him pet her or play fight with her- that is the one thing I've tried telling him she doesn't like and that is play fighting- he's not rough at all but likes to mess with her a bit- his old cat LOVED IT and he misses her so much I feel bad he can't do that with my Lucy. I have tried to get her to snuggle with the both of us & she will until he moves to pet her. Also- she is friendly with EVERYONE that comes in our house except him!

    Until 2 days ago she was the only cat. We decided to rescue a little 7 week old kitten from my cousins who were ignoring her health issues. She is the same bread of my Lucy- female as well. they look almost identical which is why I took her- but she has a bad upper respiratory infection and worms- she is on anti biotic's and has had her first de-worming shot. I was told to keep them away for a while longer and I read a bit this morning on how to introduce them.

    SO here are my questions: Obviously Lucy does not like my husbands playfulness with her and sometimes I think she flat out hates him! But will she get worse with the new kitten around? Will she see him with the new kitten and attack him more? Is there something more I can have him do with Lucy to change her attitude? Is there something I should have him stop doing? I want him to be able to snuggle with both of our cats just as I can do. I see him getting sad about it and he feels unloved by Lucy which makes me sad.

    Any tips or advise will be greatly appreciated!

    thank you!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Waltham, MA, USA
    Posts
    35,969
    The new kitten may help matters. What kind of play does your Lucy actually enjoy? She may like some other form of play than what he is doing with her, but as a human he can learn! Who does the feeding? Is she hostile to him always, or just when he starts play or picks her up? Not every cat enjoys being picked up, of course!
    I've Been Frosted

  3. #3
    hello!

    Um I don't think she likes to actually play but she will humor him for a few mins and then she's like done all of a sudden. She really enjoys just laying with me and sleeping on me. She won't lay with him at all or even walk over to him…I do the feeding. I have had him give her treats and sometime we will give her little pieces of chicken but she won't really take it from him. She seems to love everyone but him.

  4. #4
    Maybe hubby would be content to just cuddle with Lucy as well.
    Or if he wants to play with her, he could try a different kind of play. Something like the old "cat and mouse" game etc.
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Waltham, MA, USA
    Posts
    35,969
    Quote Originally Posted by BChaskey27 View Post
    hello!

    Um I don't think she likes to actually play but she will humor him for a few mins and then she's like done all of a sudden. She really enjoys just laying with me and sleeping on me. She won't lay with him at all or even walk over to him…I do the feeding. I have had him give her treats and sometime we will give her little pieces of chicken but she won't really take it from him. She seems to love everyone but him.
    Perhaps he should be the one to feed her for a while, and practice just being with her without playing for a while each day! We know he wants to pick her up, and play and everything, but he needs to win her over first! Maybe he can just sit near her while he reads, or does something quiet, or just talk to her a bit quietly every day! I know she can be won over in time!
    I've Been Frosted

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,317
    It's obvious that she does NOT like the play fighting, so your husband needs to stop. Karen is right, the kitten may be a good thing for Lucy. It'll divert her attitude towards your husband. She might just be lonely. When you pay attention to the kitten, also pay attention to Lucy, giving them both treats so she associates it with a good, enjoyable thing.

    Thank you for not giving up on Lucy. She just needs a little extra attention to let her know she's loved and special.

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