I have told this story before but it involves a petroleum based jelly.
I used to ride a motorcycle as a main means of transportation and during the late part of the year in El Lay the Santa Ana winds blow and dry up the air something fierce.
That - and riding about - really dries out your skin. So, I bought a huge jar of Vaseline and when i got home, I'd put some on my face, hands and forearms.
I took the jar out and left it on the lower shelf of the coffee table overnight. I went to work the next day and when I got home I found a half a jar of Vaseline - from a nearly brand new package.
Well, I packed the dog up into his duffel bag and rode over to the Vet's office.
I explained "my" problem and was told that I would have a nicely lubed dog. Jessie was a Lhasa so she needed to
have her rear trimmed and we went home with a recipe of Chicken and Rice.
I went to work on the third day and when I came home the dog had pooped a viscous brown trail all across the dining area. \
Thank god the house was due for demo - the landlords had let me rent the place until it was to be destroyed........
But........I still had to try and clean up something like the Exxon Valdez leak from a shag rug.
It was fun, the dog needed to be cleaned up for a week afterwards and I learned that Chicken and Rice can and will tighten up any 'loose ends' you may encounter......
Wow, that made me thirsty......