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Thread: Groucho: HELP!!! Legal advice and representation needed!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    Groucho: HELP!!! Legal advice and representation needed!

    Dear Groucho, last week we were subjected to a tremendous outrage, and we need just the right lawyer (i.e., YOU!) to represent us in court.

    Last week the people who think they are the "owners" of the place (as we ALL know, cat-occupied places are owned by the cats occupying them) where we live decided to install a new kitchen.. totally disrupting our lives, subjecting us to two days of displacement and to much physical and emotional distress both during all this and after with a whole new environment to adjust to. Details to follow, if you think we might have a case.

    Thank you very much, dear Groucho!

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess Poppeae Sabina Eugenia
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

    -- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

  2. #2
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    Oct 2005
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    Illinois, USA
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    Dear Groucho,

    Cassie here and I hope this is something you can help me with.

    We have not had any take-out Chinese food since the Fourth of July weekend. I really like chicken from our favorite Chinese take-out place. We usually have some about once a month. Meowm cuts up some of the chicken and serves it to me in my glass dish. That is some yummy chicken. Meowm enjoys the rice and vegetables, and not having to cook. I really like when she decides to get some for us. She gets the larger size because that is enough for supper, plus she takes the left-overs for her lunch at wurk. I am not certain why we have not gotten any for these past few weeks. Could you please advise her to bring home some Chinese take-out food soon?

    Thank you very much,
    Cassie

    [Meowm here. Our local Chinese take-out has been closed for a few weeks. The family that owns it went to China for a wedding and family reunion. They must have just gotten back, because the lights were on in the restaurant when I drove past there on my way home from work yesterday. The other popular local place has changed hands and they are revising some of their recipes. I don't like the new changes so I've been waiting for the first one to reopen.]
    Yikes! I've been Boo'd ... right off of the stage!
    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by phesina View Post
    Dear Groucho, last week we were subjected to a tremendous outrage, and we need just the right lawyer (i.e., YOU!) to represent us in court.

    Last week the people who think they are the "owners" of the place (as we ALL know, cat-occupied places are owned by the cats occupying them) where we live decided to install a new kitchen.. totally disrupting our lives, subjecting us to two days of displacement and to much physical and emotional distress both during all this and after with a whole new environment to adjust to. Details to follow, if you think we might have a case.

    Thank you very much, dear Groucho!

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess Poppeae Sabina Eugenia
    Dear Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler and Princess Poppaea Sabina Eugenia,

    I am sorry your lives were disrupted and you were displaced by the kitchen work. Is it complete yet? Is there any chance you could inspect the new environment and be sure it is satisfactory? I hope good meals have been served to you from the new kitchen. I know your meowmie loves you very much, and she will do everything possible to keep your stress to a minimum. Could you please have her give you some petting, hugs and loves from us? Please hang in there. Cassie can relate - she went through this when we got a new kitchen faucet and counter tops. It was noisy and messy for a few days. I got to leave for work each day, but she was home the entire time. We love you and I'm sure your meowmie will make the adjustment to your new environment into a fun time for you, as much as she can.

    Love, purrs, kissies and head bumpies,
    Cassie and Elyse
    Yikes! I've been Boo'd ... right off of the stage!
    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  4. #4
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    Sep 2002
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    39,691
    What outrages ae being committed here.
    These are inaliable rights for Cats , especially ChineseFood. Get the Perry Mason of Cats Groucho to plead your case.
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  5. #5
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    Mar 2005
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    trenton, new jersey
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    Hi fellow kitties! I'm here and ready to help each of you.

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess Poppeae Sabina Eugenia,
    I know exactly what you went through when your kitchen was redone. Last summer my Meowmie had men come in to do a lot of work in our place - every room! Not only that, she did it while my Soncat was away so I didn't have him to protect me. Anyway, having strange people in YOUR house then change things so you don't recognize them is not good. Did any of them check with you about what they were going to do? At any time were you able to supervise? One of the men who did work in my place used to pet me and talk to me, were the men who did your work nice to you or did they make you go away? There's no question, you definitely have a case. I'll start my research then call you on your cell phones for more information.

    Hey Cassie,
    What? No Chinese food?!? We need to look into this, being deprived of your favorite treat is simply not acceptable. We might be dealing with aboose here though unintentional. Your Meowmie would never do that on purpose. I'll talk to her about this to find out exactly what's going on. Rather than appear in Cat Court, she may only have to be retrained but we'll see what happens. I'll call you on your cell phone with any questions that might come up.

    Hang in there fellow kitties - I'm on it!

    Your friend,
    Groucho the Lawyer
    Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose
    FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE.....BE A BAD EXAMPLE

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Los Angeles, Ca
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    4,132
    NO Chinese Food? That's an outrage! Our meowmie brings us sooshy whenever she has it, which by the way, has been about a month...hmmm. Groucho, can you call me on my cell and have a talk about this?
    Mac

    We haven't had sushi for awhile because the alternator went on my car and that took my sushi money (and then some!) Mac will have his sushi again in about a week.
    Proud to be a crazy cat lady!

  7. #7
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    Aug 2004
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    Gary, wouldn't that be Purry Mason?
    "Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  8. #8
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    Mar 2006
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    Dear Groucho, no, the strange men did not check with us ahead of time about what they were going to do. In fact, Meowmie was told by the "management:" "We are going to do this, whether you like it or not, and if you object, you have seven days notice to find another place to live."

    And we were not able to supervise. In fact, since the place was going to be full of loud noises and nasty smells and strange men going in and out the door, Meowmie decided she had to take us away.. the day before and then not bring us back until the day after. So two of us (Bob and the Princess) got to go stay with Aunties Mary Kay and Helen. The other three of us had to stay at a place called "Karnik Pet Lodge".. where we got shut in a strange little room so we spent most of the time in the backs of our carriers, two of us crowded in the back of one because Meowmie only left two of our carriers there.. and there were not only other cats there but also DOGS, and we had to smell all these strange smells and listen to BARKING day and night!

    This is NOT acceptable. We hope we can sue the pants off the so-called "owners" and "managers" of our home, not only for physical upheaval but also for severe mental and emotional distress, and whatever else you can come up with in your research.

    Thank you, Groucho!
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

    -- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1 View Post
    Gary, wouldn't that be Purry Mason?
    Hi Miss Catty1,
    I like that Purry Mason thing. By the way, Meowmie is my dependable purralegal.
    FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE.....BE A BAD EXAMPLE

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    trenton, new jersey
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    Okay fellow kitties, here's where we stand on your legal issues:

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess,
    I'm sorry to say that we most likely will have to go to Cat Court. My research into your horrible situation clearly shows that you were all aboosed. What really put this over the top was that you had to leave YOUR home while all that work was being done. There still might be a chance of settling out of court, I'll know later this week and call you.

    Cassie,
    What's the story with the Chinese food? Has your Meowmie given you any of your favorite yet? Be sure to let me know. My idea right now is to set up a Chinese food calendar that will set specific dates for your treat. If that will work out, I don't see this having to go to Cat Court. We'll talk.

    Hey Mac,
    What's happening there, buddy? Have you had any sooshy lately? I talked to your Meowmie and she explained that it wasn't an oversight. Something happened with her car and it had to get fixed before she could get you some. You won't have to go to Cat Court on this one, it looks like we can work something out.

    If you have any questions or more information, please call me. I'll be in touch.

    Your friend,
    Groucho the Lawyer
    Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose
    FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE.....BE A BAD EXAMPLE

  11. #11
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    WAIT! I have a serious issue! Mom took my couches away! Is that allowed?
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    LET'S GO O' S!!

  12. #12
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    Oct 2005
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    Illinois, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by momcat View Post
    Okay fellow kitties, here's where we stand on your legal issues:

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess,
    I'm sorry to say that we most likely will have to go to Cat Court. My research into your horrible situation clearly shows that you were all aboosed. What really put this over the top was that you had to leave YOUR home while all that work was being done. There still might be a chance of settling out of court, I'll know later this week and call you.

    Cassie,
    What's the story with the Chinese food? Has your Meowmie given you any of your favorite yet? Be sure to let me know. My idea right now is to set up a Chinese food calendar that will set specific dates for your treat. If that will work out, I don't see this having to go to Cat Court. We'll talk.

    Hey Mac,
    What's happening there, buddy? Have you had any sooshy lately? I talked to your Meowmie and she explained that it wasn't an oversight. Something happened with her car and it had to get fixed before she could get you some. You won't have to go to Cat Court on this one, it looks like we can work something out.

    If you have any questions or more information, please call me. I'll be in touch.

    Your friend,
    Groucho the Lawyer
    Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose

    Not yet, Groucho. Meowm had one of those "koff" thingies again this week. She even missed work and stayed home with me, but she slept a lot and drank tea and orange juice. We had chicken noodle soup and she did give me some of the chicken from the soup. She said she had a fever and she was putting the stick thingy into her mouth and waiting for it to beep. She is still making the "koff" sound but not nearly as often or as bad. I am sure we will have Chinese restaurant food soon.

    Lubz,
    Cassie
    Yikes! I've been Boo'd ... right off of the stage!
    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by momcat View Post
    Okay fellow kitties, here's where we stand on your legal issues:

    Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, and Princess,
    I'm sorry to say that we most likely will have to go to Cat Court. My research into your horrible situation clearly shows that you were all aboosed. What really put this over the top was that you had to leave YOUR home while all that work was being done. There still might be a chance of settling out of court, I'll know later this week and call you.

    Your friend,
    Groucho the Lawyer
    Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose
    And then, Groucho, when we got back home, we found things were all changed around and dusty, and there were strange smells, and there was a FLY flying around, which must have just had flittens (fly-kittens?) because now there are a bunch of them flying around. We were completely traumatized and are still recovering.
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

    -- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    trenton, new jersey
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    7,734
    Quote Originally Posted by phesina View Post
    And then, Groucho, when we got back home, we found things were all changed around and dusty, and there were strange smells, and there was a FLY flying around, which must have just had flittens (fly-kittens?) because now there are a bunch of them flying around. We were completely traumatized and are still recovering.
    Okay fellow kitties. This latest news has put me in what Meowmie calls the Popeye Syndrome - that's all I can stands, I can't stands no more! Those men allowing a fly and flittens into your house is dissing you to the extreme. You didn't invite them to come over and they won't play with us. Did they try to take your food or treats? Of course you were traumatized! This is most definitely going to Cat Court. I'll file the motion tomorrow.

    Your friend,
    Groucho the Lawyer
    Practice Limited to Kitty Krimes and Aboose
    FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE.....BE A BAD EXAMPLE

  15. #15
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    Oct 2005
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    Illinois, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinot's Mom View Post
    WAIT! I have a serious issue! Mom took my couches away! Is that allowed?
    Why did Mom take your couches, Pinot? Are you getting new couches? Or- are your couches being cleaned and brought back? Could you please have your people give you hugs for me?


    Your admiring fan,
    Elyse
    Yikes! I've been Boo'd ... right off of the stage!
    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

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