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Thread: New Boyfriend's cat is violent toward me

  1. #1

    New Boyfriend's cat is violent toward me

    Hello, this is my first time on the forums, but I didn't know where else to then after the night I just had.

    Some backstory:
    I recently started dating a guy who has a young female cat (I think she's 2), and she *hates* me. I went to his house for the first time and she constantly followed me around and hissed at me it tried to claw my legs. I helped my boyfriend unpack a box of catfood tins and she got up on the counter in front of me and tried to take a swipe at my face with her claws out.

    Well, tonight was supposed to be my first night staying over at his place, but when we got back from dinner and I went to use the restroom she followed me, growling the whole way and as I was shutting the door she threw herself at it, hissing and snarling and sticking her paws in the gap to try and claw my legs. When I opened the door again, I saw she had been sitting in wait. She bit my foot, growled, and ran off. Seriously, she waited to ambush me when I came out of the restroom!

    We finally get in bed and as I'm falling asleep I hear this growling coming from the foot of the bed on the side I'm sleeping on. Suddenly she leaps on the bed and starts clawing and biting my foot and leg through the covers. I wasn't even moving my foot as to be enticing (a long time ago I owned a cat who only attacked moving feet under the covers, and even then, that was just a playful nip and then she'd stop).

    My boyfriend scolded her, but not even 30 seconds later, she was hissing and snarling and growling by the head of the bed. Just as I opened my mouth to suggest that he put her in the guest room for the evening, she sprang onto the bed, claws and teeth out making angry cat fight noises and trying to swipe and bite at my neck and face.

    He managed to get her off the bed but got some nasty scratches in the process, and I ended up just deciding to go home rather than risk dealing with the devil cat any further. Yeah, the cat was being so violent toward me that I had to leave my boyfriend's house at 3:30 in the morning.


    He told he that she's usually not too keen on people and I even saw her hiss at him once or twice, but he even said that he's NEVER seen her act this terribly toward anyone.

    I'm very much a cat person. I've owned cats in the past (I am currently sans pets of any kind), and I've been around all my friends' cats, and I've never had a problem with any of them. Usually cats are actually quite affectionate toward me. Or at least aloof and indifferent. This is the first time I've ever had a cat actively seek to physically harm me on such a serious level.

    I don't know what to do. I tried playing laser pointer with her, but she just clawed my ankle and walked off. I tried putting wet food in her dish so she'd see that I was a good guy, but she hissed and walked off. I even tried just holding still and letting her smell me in her own time, but holding still meant I was a target for claws.

    Help!! How do I make her tolerate me? I'm not looking to be best buddies with this kitty, but I would at least like to be able to sleep at my boyfriend's without worrying about his cat going for my jugular in the night.

    What can I do to make her stop attacking me?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Sounds to me like she is very jealous of you and resents you being around your boyfriend - afteralll - he belongs to HER - and you are taking time away from their relationship. Whenever I hear of cats behaving badly I think of Jackson Galaxy of My Cat From Hell fame, and wonder how he would approach the issue and fix it. I don't know if he has a website with any suggestions on it - perhaps you could look into this. He seems to have amazing results with every kind of bad behavior imaginable.

    Good luck - I hope kitty comes around and eventually accepts you.
    I've Been Boo'd
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Waltham, MA, USA
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    Definitely ask your boyfriend if you can be in charge of feeding tie when you are there. Figure out what kind of toy she likes, and try playing with her, especially before bedtime.

    One crucial thing is be as relaxed around her as you can, try not to project nervousness. Ignore her as much as possible when she's being naughty, don;t reward bad behavior. And maybe try spending time when he's not around, just being with her. Patience, patience, and if she likes pouncing, fish-pole type toys that are okay to pounce on! Does she have a cat tree where she can get up and away from you? That can be helpful, so she has a space you cannot "invade" but is just hers.
    I've Been Frosted

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Rhode Island; USA
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    WOW I've never read something like this!

    My thought was to rub some catnip on your hands, and take some catnip to her as an offering. See how she reacts. It would help to know he has given her catnip in the past, and that she is like most cats, rolls in it, has a blast and then sleeps. It gives them a positive feeling. I'm thinking this would help give her a positive feeling towards you.
    I've been BOO'd!!
    Thank you Karen, for fixing my siggy!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by pomtzu View Post
    Sounds to me like she is very jealous of you and resents you being around your boyfriend - afteralll - he belongs to HER - and you are taking time away from their relationship. Whenever I hear of cats behaving badly I think of Jackson Galaxy of My Cat From Hell fame, and wonder how he would approach the issue and fix it. I don't know if he has a website with any suggestions on it - perhaps you could look into this. He seems to have amazing results with every kind of bad behavior imaginable.

    Good luck - I hope kitty comes around and eventually accepts you.
    This is what I was thinking as well. I was thinking maybe for the OP to contact Jackson. This sounds like a good segment for the show. He did have one cat that was similar to this one, but I can't remember the remedy.

    You've already tried everything I was going to suggest. Has the cat been seen by a vet recently? Maybe she is not well. Since you say she sometimes is aggressive toward your boyfriend too. There was one cat on My Cat from Hell that was actually visually impaired and was aggressive toward the people.

    I hope you can find a common ground with the kitty and can at least visit your BFs house in peace. Good luck!!
    Our goal in life should be - to be as good a person as our dog thinks we are.

    Thank you for the siggy, Michelle!

    I've been Boo'd!!!

    Cindy (Human) - Taz (RB Tabby) - Zoee (RB Australian Shepherd) - Paizly (Dilute Tortie) - Taggart (Aussie Mix) - Jax (Brown & White Tabby), - Zeplyn (Cattle Dog Mix)

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