Ten Cat Commandments for their humans
1. Acknowldge that I am Cat - no other is above Me. Not even you! Remember, cats were once worshiped as Gods, we have never forgotten this.
2. Anyone who says I am "just a cat" is not worthy of your time and attention.
3. My affection is mine to dole out, it cannot be forced. Don't try.
4. When people visit, remember I have teeth and will defend myself if necessary. If I flee, do not reveal my choice hiding spots.
5. The fur I shed is my gift to you, so I am with you wherever you go. It is not my fault when you choose garments that do not match my fur color.
6. Did you know my sense of smell is 12 times better than yours? So as much as you hate a smelly litter box, it bothers me 12 times as much! Please help keep it clean, and we'll both be happier.
7. I have a mind of my own. Please do not be upset if I like the packaging better than the expensive toy you just bought me, or the bag your brought it home in. Just be grateful I like something.
8. Pay attention. I am not going to be able to tell you if I am not feeling well, and besides, I don't like showing weakness. I am a cat, the top of the food chain and social order. But if you notice a big change in my behavior, that may mean a trip to the vets is in order.
9. If you leave it on a counter, it's fair game. Ditto that small trash can. If you treasure that pen, or piece of paper or or knicknack - hide it away. After all, I keep my best toys hidden, you should, too. But the spot under the refrigerator is mine, find your own spot.
10. Please have me spayed or neutered. Remember how hard it was being a hormonal teenager? How'd you like to have to live through that several times a year? I don't want to, and believe me, I will let you know!
... and a few additions:
Feed me high-quality food and make sure I have fresh water.
Pet me, love me, and play with me. You are my human and I purr to show you I'm happy that you're with me!
We can, and will take every opportunity to get outside. An open window is an open invitation!
There's no such thing as "your" furniture, "your" keyboard, "your" pillow, "your" blanket or "your" tuna.
Cats don't have owners, we have staff. Dogs come when you call, we cats take a message and get back to you.