well after 3.5 years of mostly-peaceful tolerance, my 2 guys have finally had enough of each other. They've had their issues in the past but the incidents were becoming more and more frequent and I'm tired of being (literally) caught in the middle. I've had to keep one of them in a cage at all times since April. I used to be able to let them together for a few minutes to eat their meals, but even that is impossible. Havoc just keeps freaking out and starts hissing and growling every time Toby gets too close. Toby will NOT back down from a challenge no matter what. I usually intervene and grab Havoc as soon as he starts talking smack and try to toss him in the cage for his own safety, but then Toby just attacks ME trying to get to Havoc. I now have some pretty good scars on the back of my arm from when I had to literally pin Toby to the nightstand to let Havoc escape (Toby was closer at the time). I also have some scars on the back of my leg from where Toby has latched on and bit me in a frenzy. He has done this twice, and ripped one of his claws out both times. Fortunately I was wearing blue jeans the first time (he ripped them in the attack), 2nd time around I just so happened to be wearing shorts....OUCH! I am diabetic- wounds don't heal as quickly and nicely as on a healthy person. I have tried sprays, collars, water additives, and everything else I can get my hands on. They are fine as long as one of them is in a cage, but I don't think it is fair to keep them cooped up for 12 hours at a time (I swap them out twice a day). I don't want to have to resort to drugging them into submission either.
So, I think the best thing to do is to rehome one of them. They're both good cats, but each has their faults. Havoc is a neurotic little scaredy-cat with minor health issues. Toby is a hard-headed, food obsessed thug. Havoc gets nervous around other animals, and Toby is a bully. Havoc would do best as the only pet and no children, but I think Toby would do OK with a very passive dog. My issue is that most people who love cats would not want to have only ONE cat.
But there is hope! My parents have tentatively agreed to adopt Havoc. I offered him instead of Toby because Toby really likes to push your buttons and get into trouble. Havoc is an easy keeper as far as day-to-day, you just gotta keep an eye on his health issues. He is also the more playful and personable of the two, once he's relaxed. If he does freak out over something, my parents are totally OK with him hiding somewhere until he feels like coming back out. There are no children in the house. There are no other pets. Havoc would be free to roam or hide as much as he wants without the hoomans hassling him when he's scared.
I think this is best for both cats. Havoc and Toby will each have a house of their own. I told my parents I will still pay for food and vet bills as long as they kept him. All they need to worry about is providing a roof over his head and a warm lap and playtime when he wants it. They do keep their house a bit warmer than I do but I'm sure Havoc will adjust. They also travel regularly, but the neighbors will check in on him daily while they're gone, since they'll be bringing the mail in anyway. I travel on long weekends a lot too and this has never been an issue. My parents live only about 15 minutes away so they'd always check on the fuzzbutts when I was gone. I, of course, will return the favor and look after Havoc when needed.
It breaks my heart to be parting ways with my little buddy and I will even miss him waking me up by sticking his butt in my face every night, but I feel better that I was able to find him to a house of his own and I'll still be able to see him
Sorry for the looooooong post. I know I haven't been around lately, I've had a lot to deal with for the last few months and didn't want to post my problem until I found a good solution
Now I just have to find the time to get him over there, so he can start settling in. He's spent a long weekend at their house before, and had just started to venture out of his cage when I got back in town last time.