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Thread: probably down to one cat soon

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Just north of Memphis TN, USA
    Posts
    1,450

    probably down to one cat soon

    well after 3.5 years of mostly-peaceful tolerance, my 2 guys have finally had enough of each other. They've had their issues in the past but the incidents were becoming more and more frequent and I'm tired of being (literally) caught in the middle. I've had to keep one of them in a cage at all times since April. I used to be able to let them together for a few minutes to eat their meals, but even that is impossible. Havoc just keeps freaking out and starts hissing and growling every time Toby gets too close. Toby will NOT back down from a challenge no matter what. I usually intervene and grab Havoc as soon as he starts talking smack and try to toss him in the cage for his own safety, but then Toby just attacks ME trying to get to Havoc. I now have some pretty good scars on the back of my arm from when I had to literally pin Toby to the nightstand to let Havoc escape (Toby was closer at the time). I also have some scars on the back of my leg from where Toby has latched on and bit me in a frenzy. He has done this twice, and ripped one of his claws out both times. Fortunately I was wearing blue jeans the first time (he ripped them in the attack), 2nd time around I just so happened to be wearing shorts....OUCH! I am diabetic- wounds don't heal as quickly and nicely as on a healthy person. I have tried sprays, collars, water additives, and everything else I can get my hands on. They are fine as long as one of them is in a cage, but I don't think it is fair to keep them cooped up for 12 hours at a time (I swap them out twice a day). I don't want to have to resort to drugging them into submission either.

    So, I think the best thing to do is to rehome one of them. They're both good cats, but each has their faults. Havoc is a neurotic little scaredy-cat with minor health issues. Toby is a hard-headed, food obsessed thug. Havoc gets nervous around other animals, and Toby is a bully. Havoc would do best as the only pet and no children, but I think Toby would do OK with a very passive dog. My issue is that most people who love cats would not want to have only ONE cat.

    But there is hope! My parents have tentatively agreed to adopt Havoc. I offered him instead of Toby because Toby really likes to push your buttons and get into trouble. Havoc is an easy keeper as far as day-to-day, you just gotta keep an eye on his health issues. He is also the more playful and personable of the two, once he's relaxed. If he does freak out over something, my parents are totally OK with him hiding somewhere until he feels like coming back out. There are no children in the house. There are no other pets. Havoc would be free to roam or hide as much as he wants without the hoomans hassling him when he's scared.

    I think this is best for both cats. Havoc and Toby will each have a house of their own. I told my parents I will still pay for food and vet bills as long as they kept him. All they need to worry about is providing a roof over his head and a warm lap and playtime when he wants it. They do keep their house a bit warmer than I do but I'm sure Havoc will adjust. They also travel regularly, but the neighbors will check in on him daily while they're gone, since they'll be bringing the mail in anyway. I travel on long weekends a lot too and this has never been an issue. My parents live only about 15 minutes away so they'd always check on the fuzzbutts when I was gone. I, of course, will return the favor and look after Havoc when needed.

    It breaks my heart to be parting ways with my little buddy and I will even miss him waking me up by sticking his butt in my face every night, but I feel better that I was able to find him to a house of his own and I'll still be able to see him

    Sorry for the looooooong post. I know I haven't been around lately, I've had a lot to deal with for the last few months and didn't want to post my problem until I found a good solution

    Now I just have to find the time to get him over there, so he can start settling in. He's spent a long weekend at their house before, and had just started to venture out of his cage when I got back in town last time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Waltham, MA, USA
    Posts
    35,338
    Sounds like a good solution, and hopefully everyone will be happier.
    I've Been Frosted

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Ellicott City MD
    Posts
    5,675
    Such a shame when kitties just can't gel. I'm so sorry.

    Your statement that most people that love cats probably wouldn't want just one is just not correct, however; there are many (including my husband and myself) who feel they are best as a one cat household, so your kitty will, I'm sure, be able to find the right place. I hope it's with your family so you at least have visitation privileges.

    Please keep us posted and best of luck.
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    LET'S GO O' S!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Clara, CA
    Posts
    27,628
    I'm sorry to hear this but you really have tried everything you could except to drug them which you said you don't want to do. I'm glad that your parents are willing to take in Havoc and I hope that everything will work out for the best. Good luck.
    Owned by Sky, Pearl, Ziggy Stardust, Alani, Blaze, Colby, Finnegan, and Summer.


    My Rainbow Bridge Babies:
    RB Pepper 3/17/97- 2/3/03 RIP Sweet Pepper
    RB Starr 3/22/05- 7/1/09 RIP Sweet Starr
    RB Sunny 8/25/00- 2/28/10 RIP Sweet Sunny
    RB Storm 1/11/96- 8/2/12 RIP Sweet Storm

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Litter Box, Greenville, SC
    Posts
    4,676
    You know best and you have tried every solution and then some. You may not remember, but I had to re-home Bertie because she growled at my other kitties. Once she was gone, peace returned. I hope Havoc adjusts well to his new domain. Perhaps Toby will calm down too?
    Anne
    Meowmie to Mr. Spunky, Samwise, Lady Jane, Bob, and Callie.





    RIP Emily (Oct 8, 2013), Rose (Sept 24, 2001), Maggie (Fall 2003)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,324
    I've been in your shoes. I had a cat, Tucker who kept sabbotaging RB Casey in the litterbox. After MUCH contemplating, it was the best solution to rehome Tucker. Casey had been there LOOOONG before Tucker. He's now living the life with my friends in Colorado. Couldn't ask for a better home.

    I know how difficult it is for you. It's a difficult decision, but if it keeps peace and lets both cats live a stress free existence, they good for you!!!

    You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you'll have visitation rights!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island; USA
    Posts
    16,497
    Another of those times when I SO wish pets could talk! WHY after living together for a time, they decide they can't stand the sight of one another is beyond me. I want ANSWERS ha haaa.

    This sounds like a solution, as someone said, with your folks, you will get to visit and see him now and then.

    I am sure this is tough on you, {{{hugs}}}

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Just north of Memphis TN, USA
    Posts
    1,450
    Most of the time they were hunky dory and coexisted just fine. Havoc has always gotten nervous any time he smelled or saw a strange cat, like if a stray outside sprayed something that eventually came in the house (like firewood), or he saw something through the window. He would then act rather confused when he saw Toby, but smelled this other cat. He'd then get nervous and defensive. I avoided other people's cats if I knew I was going home afterward, and tried not to bring anything from outside to inside where they could smell it. This worked most of the time. If they did start fussing at each other, putting one of them in the cage for a couple hours would allow everyone to calm down and they'd be fine by the end of the day. Things started changing last summer for some reason. Havoc would get all freaked out and nervous completely out of the blue. They would both be curled up on my lap asleep and when they woke up start giving each other the stink-eye. This was happening more and more often and without any apparent reason, so "kitty jail" was getting used with increasing frequency. By April they couldn't be together for more than a few minutes. So as of now, when one of them is in the cage they're fine, even face to face. Heck they'll even play footsie through the bars. It's just if Toby walks out of the room and then comes back in, Havoc acts like he doesn't recognize him. Every time I take them to the vet everything checks out just fine. I'm wondering if Havoc's eyesight is going, or it's his mind that's on the way out. He's only about 4 years old, but he's never looked particularly healthy and he's always been rather "dense" mentally. He's the sweetest, most playful, happiest, little guy otherwise. My parents always play with him when they come over so at least he's comfortable with them.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,477
    I currently have two kitties that do not get along. But the difference for me is that neither cat is stressed out and there is never any fur flying or bloodshed when there is a tiff. Plus I think it is mostly an act on Paizly's part. But she can scream sometimes like she's being tortured.

    It is a horribly difficult decision. But I think it is great that your parents will take Havoc. That sounds like the best solution for everyone.
    Our goal in life should be - to be as good a person as our dog thinks we are.

    Thank you for the siggy, Michelle!

    Cindy (Human) - Taz (RB Tabby) - Zoee (Australian Shepherd) - Paizly (Dilute Tortie) - Taggart (Aussie Mix) - Jax (Brown & White Tabby)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    39,466
    Sad to say , but some Cats just do not get along.
    My Scrapster fights with Tubster Panther and Malcolm and is now spending his time in one of the thee back yrads that are currently avaialble to him.

    I do not waht I will do in colder weather, maybe keep them as seperated as possible
    We are sory that they could not get along, that is so sad when our Ctas are such enemies
    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE FOUND HOTEL ANGELS HAVE A NEW FRIEND IN CORINNA.


    ALMOND ROCCA BATON AND ELLIE ANGELS ARE GUARDIANS TO ETERNAL KITTENS ROCC-EL AND T TEEN ANGEL, ALMOND ROCA , VLAD , PAWLEE , SPRITE. LITTLE HEX, OSIRIS AND ANNIE ANGELS.
    EBONY BEAU TUBSTER AND PEACHES BW SPIKE & SMOKEY


    NOW PRECIOUS AND SAM ARE TOGETHER WITH ETERNAL KITTENS SAMMY ,PRESLEY, SYLVESTER AND SCRATCHY JR , MIGHTY MARINA, COSMIC CARMEN, SAMSON ,UNDER KITTY AND SUNKIST AUTUMN & PUMPKIN.
    MIA AND ORANGE BLOSSOM ANGELS HAVE ADOPTED TUXIE , TROOPER , SONGBIRD AND LITTLE BITTY KITTIES MIA-MI BLOSSOMER, TUXEDO AND DASH AS THIER ETERNAL KITTENS.
    PRINCESS JOSEPH AND MICHAEL ARE CELEBRATING 19 YEARS AS LUCKY FOUND CATS

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,010
    It's nice to see you posting again, I'm sorry to hear that your two boys still aren't getting along.
    I'm sorry you have to rehome Havoc but it sounds like it will be a good arrangement for him to live with your parents who love him and you can still visit him often and give him some one-on-one attention. I hope that Toby will behave better without another cat in the house to compete with.
    I know you have tried everything to make them get along, I hope the new arrangement works out.
    Please post some new pictures of both of your boys and check your PM's too.
    RIP sweet Samantha
    6/26/88-8/28/08
    ----------------------------

    Milly & Izzy

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