Dear Patch

[Freedom]

LOL I loved reading this thread, my first of the morning!

Patch, you just keep on being you, and don't worry about the humans, they will figure it out. Those pesky swallows, on the other hand . . . .

[Lady's Human]

Cassie,

Thanks for the advice.

I've figured out, however, that waking them up at 4AM by walking on them is a very effective way to get them to fill the food bowl.

I've trained one of the short humans pretty well, he gives me treats all the time, but I just wish they'd let me outside. I don't care WHAT they say about Coyotes, I know I can handle myself. After all, did they forget how I got here?

I guess I'll just have to wait for winter so I can get back to mousing inside.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Darling...you must tell them if they REALLY love you and REALLY do not want you to go outside they must bring the outside to you. A couple of small rodents, two or three birds of the appropriate size would be a good start...

Edwina e/s

[Pinot's Mom]

Dear Patch,
I have an abundance of live treats to share, I'll get some on my afternoon romp today and send them right up! Would you prefer chipmunk, shrew, birdie, or a deer? Call me on the Catberry!

Purrs, Pinot

[Lady's Human]

How about a chipmunk and a birdie? Maybe throw in a shrew for Trillian, even though she doesn't play well with me.

[Pinot's Mom]

On the way! Sure you don't want a deer? I keep telling Mom and Dad I can take one!

[cassiesmom]

Cassie,

Thanks for the advice.

I've figured out, however, that waking them up at 4AM by walking on them is a very effective way to get them to fill the food bowl.

I've trained one of the short humans pretty well, he gives me treats all the time, but I just wish they'd let me outside. I don't care WHAT they say about Coyotes, I know I can handle myself. After all, did they forget how I got here?

I guess I'll just have to wait for winter so I can get back to mousing inside.

Dear Patch -- Cassie here. That sounds like an excellent method of letting the humans know you need food! And having been an outside-only cat before I went to the shelter, I can tell you that inside is much better.

[Lady's Human]

Dearest Patch,

I know, you got irritated when we took away your last kill.

However, that was not reason to hide that where you did.

We have a portable heater in our living room that stays behind the loveseat out of the way when not in use. The loveseat gets moved for vacuuming, etc, but the heater just sits there.

I moved it the other day as it was cool enough to need heat, but not cold enough to turn on the furnace.

Under the heater was a very dead mouse. Don't know when he put it there, but obviously we need to keep a better eye on hidey holes.

[Karen]

Yikes, RIP mousie. You did NOT pick a good home to invade!

Patch, sorry, but you should present your trophies to your hoomans, not hide them away. They do NOT get better with age, I promise!

[Lady's Human]

Maybe, just maybe if you stopped ambushing Lady every time she came in from going outside she wouldn't snarl at you when you try to curl up with her on the couch.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

What was that old saw......something about pets resembling their owners?

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

If you can meow to the world about me, I'm going to have my minute as well.

Remember, laps are for cats, not keyboards.

Please remember this and correct that major shortcoming. It gets tiring to remind you of this every day.

Please open the short human's door before you go to bed. Failure to do so WILL result in early morning wakeup calls to let me in his room. Remember, I'm just as stubborn as you.

The hidey hole under the deck is MUCH safer for me than the house in case of a storm. I keep trying to tell you this, but you still refuse to let me outside. Have you forgotten how you found me? Just because you saw me one morning in the driveway doesn't mean that's how I got here or that that's the first place I saw YOU.

Thanks, and I'll be expecting improvement.

I KNOW you'll read this, after all, you've got that keyboard thing in your lap again this morning.



Patch

[Karen]

Now, Patch, inside in someone's lap is a safer place to be than the hidey hole under the deck in a storm! After all, the hides hole might be the place some other critters decide to use, and I do not think you'd enjoy sharing the space with a s*k*u*n*k - they might object to your attempts to play ...

[Lady's Human]

And in a bizarre version of feline clue.......

It was Patch


In the office


With the Spaghetti squash.