the 3 bumper stickers on my car:

in lettering going for big to tiny:
This is a test. Try to read as much of this as you can. If you can read all of this then you need to get off my bumper

another 1:

You're just jealous cuz the voices only talk to me!

and the last 1:

Don't interrupt when the voice are talking to me


My Mom has a bumper stick that she put on our screen door instead:

Warm, friendly greeting available only after my morning coffee



We had another one but we don't know what happened to it. It said: Don't Annoy the Crazy Person