Dear Whoever Cares,

Justin wants me to move to Iowa and move into an apartment with him.

Move in with him? Sure... not a terrible idea. But Iowa?

I've got family (that usually irritates me) here, and Butch will be home in April... My job, college... I just can't make that drastic of a transition.

If he moved here, like he had planned, however, maybe. Just maybe.

I don't know. I'm realizing how much Justin means to me. I want to talk to him every minute of the day, and I wish he was here so I had someone to be with. But then I think about it, and I don't really want to date him... which is what he thinks will happen.

Let me explain. He is an AMAZING guy. He has put up with so much of my ****, the MANY times I have tried to push him away, as to not get attached. He was there with me through ALL of the **** with Jay, my parents, my stepmom, everything. He knows me completely, and I trust him with everything, but I am not attracted to him.

Call me shallow, but I can't see myself being with him.

But yet, he is my other half.


*sigh*


Megan