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Thread: I need a shoulder...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,317

    I need a shoulder...

    Don't get me wrong, I had a great time at my cousin's house at Thanksgiving.

    It was fabulous. I spent it with my daughter, my cousins and their kids.

    There's a however in here though. It has to do with my depression. I always have a great time with my cousins and their families. But when I leave, I sink into a depressive crying jag. It's the envy of them having what I don't. Each other. The three of them are so close, they go on vacations together, spend every holiday together and are just there for each other anytime, anywhere.

    I have a brother who is 5 years older than me and lives out in NC. I only see him at weddings and funerals in the family. We were never really close, but he's still my brother and I love and miss him terribly. I sent him an email and also called him (he wasn't there) and told him I loved and missed him and hoped he had a great holiday. He sent an email back, very cut and dry and didn't even say he loved me.

    So today I'm sitting here crying like a baby. I do have so much to be greatful for, don't get me wrong. But it's that one elusive thing, the bond and closeness siblings have that has my depression and emotions out of whack.

    To make matters worse, I've gotta work tonight BLACK FRIDAY. Maybe it's a good thing. It'll help me forget, I don't know.

    That's all guys. Thanks for listening. Now I gotta go figure out how to get the severe redness and puffiness from my eyes before I face my fans at the store.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Gran Canaria, Spain
    Posts
    2,294
    Only thing I can say is count your blessings, and get out of the house and do something that you love.

    Have a drink with a girlfriend, get pampered with a manicure, go somewhere relaxing with a newspaper/magazine and a huge cup of coffee, get a movie and cuddle with the cats under a huge duvet... whatever you love to do!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Concordia Lutheran Home in Cabot
    Posts
    7,816

    I've been there!

    Donna, you know you have my soggy right shoulder to unload on. A lot of times I feel the same way. Since my brothers and sister are married and have grandchildren, at family gatherings I feel left out because as a bachelor I really can't relate to the conversation. I'm treated well, but I feel like the odd man out. So, sweetheart if you want to let it out I have a shoulder reserved in your name!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,451
    I hear you and can totally sympathize with you and being envious of the family connections others have. My two middle siblings died 21 years ago and I've not seen my youngest brother in 20 years. After the two died he went all to crap. Last time I saw him he told me he'd kill me. He did time in jail for various things. I have no desire to have any relationship with him. But sometimes I feel so sad for the family I've lost. Here's a hug for you.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali and Diego (six year old kittens)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Allentown, PA
    Posts
    6,095
    I think the holidays are hard to deal with as well. My family is a bit mixed up because my dad was married to my mom's sister first and they had a son, my half-brother, Jeff. Then about 5-7 years into the marriage they got divorced, and my dad married my mom and later on they had me. Let's just say that family get togethers and holidays are just not all "peace, love and joy", lol. It's fun introducing Jeff too... "This is my broth.. erm... half-broth...um, cousin??"

    You can cry on my shoulder about your family while I cry on yours (and laugh in between) about my family sounding like a "You know you're a Redneck" joke, lol.
    Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History
    -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island; USA
    Posts
    16,877
    Aw, Donna, the holidays can do this to people. We have ideas of how things "shoud" be, or we look at others and think, "the grass is greener there, they have it so well off." And maybe they DO have it well off, but we have blessings ourselves and have to realize those as well.

    It is OK to mourn what you may have lost; and then, pick up and celebrate what you HAVE as well. Sometimes that takes looking deep within you, but believe me it is there.

    Why else would all these cats be picking YOU? They don't go with just anyone you know!
    I've been BOO'd!!
    Thank you Karen, for fixing my siggy!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,317
    Thanks so much everyone. I tried hard not to have a pity party but it was just too much. I'm better now, after talking to a VERY special friend who can also relate to what I'm having to deal with.

    I'm hoping work will take my mind off it all, and make me so tired at the end of the night (store is open till 11 pm) that I just pass out in bed when I get home.

    I love you guys!!!!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SE USA
    Posts
    18,457

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    South Hero Vermont
    Posts
    4,747

    Happier times ahead....

    Donna, I wish you sunnier days and happier times. There are some gloomy days - and I know they can be difficult to deal with, at best.

    Just remember that you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your relatives.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((Donna)))))))))))))))))))

    L,
    Sas and her campers!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    13,010
    Ditto what SAS just said....you can pick your friends - the family you WOULD have chosen if given that chance...

    One thing to keep in mind that I'm only just beginning let into my head. People that always act the same way and that always bring about the same emotion about in you/us aren't ever going to change that. Sometimes we have to search within ourselves and figure out how to change how WE react to how they constantly make US feel. I know its easier said than done, but if we finally see that if we get around the "if they'll just see that it'd be nicer this way" or "if they could only see what it does to me when he/she says that"...etc, etc, etc, and realize this: people don't change. We can only adjust and protect ourselves and keep our hearts and heads happy...and in the company of those who DO value and love us for US.

    Love you, Donna. I'm sorry your family hurts you. Your PT Family wont...we love you, sweet one.

    Love, Kelly & Kits

    (((((((((Donna))))))))))))))
    ...RIP, our sweet Gini...

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,092
    I'm so glad your feeling much better.I too have the holiday blues.It's hard to shake every year.It's a written rule that your supose to be Happy and Share time with your Loving family Thanksgiving and Christmas.
    I really never had good Holidays growing up.so that rule kind of gets me a bit stressed too.the holidays were more of a depression time at our home as a kid.Not the lack of toys.But the lack of happiness in my mom's face and the rest of us.crazy world we live in.
    Cheer up...one more holiday to go...then we can relax..LOL

    By the way...I don't see any of my family at all anymore.The ones that are left,i mean.The ones that are deseased are the ones I loved very much and miss terribly.
    The ones that are here are not good people to be around.I cannot stand Greed or power hungry people.Their just No good!And that's who is left.
    I moved to a State where I know noone so far.And me and Mike spend the Holidays with our cats.That's all...and that's ok.I'm sure we'll meet some nice people here.but we stay in so..no biggy for now.
    i do hope your holidays get better next year though Donna.
    I really Do.
    Try not to be sad.
    Your a wonderful person.Very caring and so many love you here.
    Last edited by catfamily; 11-23-2007 at 09:16 PM.

    Thank You Kim for this wonderful siggy

    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power ,the world will know peace" jimi hendrix

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    21,042
    On what Noahs Mommy said: We're powerless over people, places and things. We can only change ourselves inside, and thus change how we react to stuff.

    Another saying that did a LOT for me: "Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides."

    HUGS!
    "Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off." -- Author Unknown

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