Scott Feschuk, MacLean's Mag - Vick on the "Scum of the Earth Scale"
Do you think that Mike Vick will be spared jail time now that he's “found Jesus” and where does he come in on the scum of the earth scale? (If such a scale does not exist, feel free to develop your own system). – D.T., Antigonish, NS
I already have. The Feschuk Scale operates on the same principle as the Richter Scale, providing an instantaneous measure of the magnitude of scum-of-the-earth-type activity wherever it happens in the world. Here’s a rough guide, from scummy to not at all scummy:
9.0 Mel Gibson on a bender
8.1 Michael Vick
7.7 Mel Gibson sober
7.4 Whoever convinced hard-rock icons KISS to record the disco album Dynasty, simultaneously breaking my heart, forcing me to question the existence of God and rendering my Ace Frehley Halloween costume useless, absolutely useless
2.2 Cute adorable babies with the hiccups
1.8 The parts of Diana that weren’t crazy or self-obsessed
1.4 Mother Teresa with the hiccups
"Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get." -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.