A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee . He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other
side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer drove up on his tractor asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here.
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys
in the United States if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you
and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently , you don't know how
we settle disputes in Tennessee .
We settle small disagreements like this; with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute
occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and
then you get to kick me three times so on and back and forth until
someone gives up.
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and
decided that he could easity take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second
kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him
face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to
his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old hillbilly. Now it's my turn "
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."