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Thread: Excerts from pets' Diaries

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Galveston Bay U.S.
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    Excerts from pets' Diaries

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    * Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

    Awww dogs and cats. How we love 'em both!!!!!
    Religion is a smile on a dog.

    It's raining cats and dogs!!!
    SPCA HOUSTON
    HABITAT FOR HORSES
    When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    ROFLMBO!!! Yup!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    22,326
    Hilarious! Having both dogs and cats, I can attest this is the truth!

    Forever in my heart...Lacey,Sassy,Mandy,Corey,Ginger,Casey

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    NE Pa.
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    HYSTERICAL!!!! loved it!
    Merry Holidays to One an All Blessed be

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Galveston Bay U.S.
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    haha thought we could bump this up again.

    i had the idea to use the dog philosophies as siggies, so i used several of them in the last few months around the net.
    have adopted a cat too, whose story i have completed somewhere, and will post soon!

    cats are so smart!
    Religion is a smile on a dog.

    It's raining cats and dogs!!!
    SPCA HOUSTON
    HABITAT FOR HORSES
    When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Pennslyvania
    Posts
    1,581
    That is so funny. I love the part when the cat say's the bird is safe, for now!
    Thank you so much for my siggy, kittycats_delight!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Georgia, United States
    Posts
    2,452
    MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Cats locked up, birds and dogs rule. Just kidding!
    Collin
    Little Bit died the morning of May 14, 2008 of old age. Bye Little Bit, you will always be missed. Memorial thread
    Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton
    Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. - Mark Twain
    He whom sacrifices freedom for a measure of security deserves neither. - Benjamin Franklin
    Let nature guide your actions and you will never have to worry if you did the right thing. - crow_noir
    My Website | Save Net Neutrality

    By the way, Blue...
    MY SIG IS BIGGER

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