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Thread: Dear God...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Pensacola Beach,FL
    Posts
    8,842

    Dear God...

    TO: GOD:
    FROM: THE DOG
    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

    Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

    Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

    1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

    7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

    8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

    10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
    Owned by two little pastries!


    REST IN PEACE GRACIE. NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T MISS YOU.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Shhh it's a secret;)
    Posts
    3,469
    HAHAHAHA this one had me cracking up

    The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
    "To all the dogs I've loved before...Who traveled in & out my door...I'm glad you came along...I dedicate this song to all the dogs I've loved before"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Chihuahua, Mexico
    Posts
    7,524
    ROFLMAO !!!!!!! i literally fell of my chair !!!! so funny...........loved it
    Corinna´s Christmas Card Swap ´06
    dedicated to a lovely woman who won many hearts along her life...........
    she will be deeply missed.......Thank you for letting us be a part of your life, you will surely remain in ours FOREVER........R.I.P. Dear Corinna

    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful dude that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred



    notes-to-my-husband blog

    http://365project.org/isabelle/365

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Charlotte, Michigan
    Posts
    4,778
    That was wonderful!!!!! clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Charlotte, Michigan
    Posts
    4,778
    Wow, we posted at just about the same time, the page jumped up and down, must be we were really cracking up!!!!

  6. #6
    Hehe that is very cute! I got that in an e-mail from a friend and posted it on another forum I belong to

    "To err is human; to forgive, canine."
    -Anonymous

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,547
    lol, that is GREAT. I was really laughing out loud!

  8. #8
    LMAO! That is wonderful! I especially like the part about the sofa is not a "face towel"!! Thank you for posting that!
    Jessica

    Thank you so much Kay for this great Sig!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    California
    Posts
    6,606
    Very cute, haha XP

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Up North. Where all your troubles freeze and fall off.
    Posts
    3,131
    LOL- ( litterally ) I loved it.
    STILL AVAILABLE BY E-MAIL

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Kingman, Arizona
    Posts
    4,945
    Lol, that is so cute!! Thanks for sharing!
    DeviantArt
    Beth-
    Maggie [lab x germanshepherd], Autumn [Cattle dog x chow], C.P. [Domestic short hair] Henry [domestic short hair] Mittens [siamese/ x ], Buck [paint horse], Indy [Paint horse]

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    N. Kentucky
    Posts
    2,663
    Adorable!!!! That's a dog for ya

    "Old dogs are like old shoes: they are comfortable. They may be a bit
    out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
    NEW ADDITION: 6 lovely Rhode Island Reds!

  13. #13
    AHAHAHAH! VERY cute! I was definitely laughing out loud!

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